Should i tell my mom

Sgdlboy

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I would NEVER tell my mom about me liking to wear diapers , this is a secret i would like to keep from her and this would NEVER cross my mind about telling her until some time ago i was caught , she found a used diaper in the bathroom and its only me and her in the house. Stupid me forgot to disposed of my used diaper.

So far she didn't really say anything and all but occasionally when diaper came up be it tv commercial or walking pass the diaper aisle i knew she had this look on her and it makes me awkward , i know she wanted to ask and on several occasion she does but i just shrug it off without telling her an answer.

Its just me and her in the house , i grew up without a father and i don't want to keep anything from my mom , so should i tell my mom about my diapers or just still keep it low.
 
I really don't know how old you are, but I would keep it on the down low for now. If she asks you anything about it just explain to her that you enjoy wearing diapers. Don't be too specific. Be honest with her. If you feel uncomfortable do like the armed forces "Don't ask, Don't tell". If you are over 21 my advice would be to get your own place and do what you want to do. Much easier when you don't have to explain to anyone.
 
Being 100% honest is good but I think it's better to just say that we are incontinent, people do not ask questions, it's easier for everyone, and it avoids the problem relational. If she asks you for more details just say it's stress related.
 
trysexiea said:
Being 100% honest is good but I think it's better to just say that we are incontinent, people do not ask questions, it's easier for everyone, and it avoids the problem relational. If she asks you for more details just say it's stress related.
It it was a relationship that might work. It his MOM. Someone who knows most of there medical history.
 
I don't think lying to her that im incontinent would be a good idea , i don't want her to worry. she sort of have the idea that im wearing diapers secretly but she didn't pry much , coming from an asian background it's very difficult to just tell her i like wearing diapers , unlike american parents who are mostly understanding and open minded.
 
Yeah, lying would definitely not help anyone. And the decision to tell her is really up to you. However, if you're pretty close to your mom (and it sounds like you are), and you don't have an immediate reason to believe she will react negatively (which she obviously didn't when she found your used diaper), then it probably is best to tell her.

Not only will this help relieve some of your stress of her finding diapers again, but it will benefit your mom as well. She obviously wants to ask you about it, so she is obviosly worried to some degree. Telling here will help her to not worrying about your health, and it will help her to understand you trust and love her enough to share this part of yourself with her. It is also eliminate any medical/psychological fears or concerns that could arise, not if, but when she stumbles on your stash or trash (and it will happen again, it always does).

As you can see it is a clear and obvious win-win reason for her to know you are abdl. What she probably doesn't need to know though is any sexual aspect your diapers may also have too. Just make sure you do your research and think hard what diapers really mean to you first.

It may help to even write here a letter for telling her, mostly just so you can keep your thoughs all there and make sure everything that needs to be said will get said. Just make sure you don't make the mistake of emailing or texting it to here, you will need to be there to answer extra questions and discuss her thoughts/feelings as well.
 
I think it's hard for most of us to understand why we are ab/do and enjoy it, she may have a hard time understanding. You could say you met a girl that wanted to diaper you and you were just experimenting with the idea.
 
The need for wearing diapers can be physical (IC issues) or emotional letting family and close friends know you need to ware for an IC issue is easier as you have to be constantly in a diaper so odds are they will find out any ways. Emotional needs are also a valid medical need just explain you are wearing as a just incase and wearing releaves your stress level.
People close to you will also notice your diapers at some point intime especially if you ware one day and then not the next day also if you use your diaper they will notice a change in your bathroom habits (Ie you go less often)
 
Sgdlboy said:
I don't think lying to her that im incontinent would be a good idea , i don't want her to worry. she sort of have the idea that im wearing diapers secretly but she didn't pry much , coming from an asian background it's very difficult to just tell her i like wearing diapers , unlike american parents who are mostly understanding and open minded.

No it is generally not or not very accepted in all the countries, in this case I can guarantee you that to say that it is an incontinence related to the stress is the simplest, and also what will pose the less problem, question. In the general case if you say that you are DL to your parents, (Non-exhaustive list of possible reactions) (percentage chance of this reaction)
(1) there is a small chance that he will support you (about 0.01%),
(2) there is a chance that he will not say nothing, but without support (~ 10%), (3) there is a good chance that he will do everything to dissuade you from using them, without preventing you from doing so, just trying to make you feel guilty "you imagine all you could buy with all the money you put in your disposable diaper "(~ 50%),
(4) chances are he's considering it as something that he missed in your education and that it sends you directly to the psychiatrist (the psychiatrist can not change anything), they will also ask not to do it, but there is also a good chance they will do everything to find your disposable diapers and destroy them (~ 80%).

It is for this reason that I think stress-related (stress) incontinence is the most appropriate reason. First because DL is often for the reassuring side, and also because everyone is more or less stressed nowadays so it shocks no one that you are stressed.
 
While I agree there could be a cultural issue about diapers in an Asian country. I do not agree with saying that it is stress incontinence. Having bladder or bowel issues is as many have said here before usually caused by another underlying health issue. Parents are often worried about a child's health and that is one way to end up with unwanted doctors visits. I am not sure where the statistics come from but I can tell you they are not accurate.
I will tell you from my own experience as a person who has an American background when I told my mom she was not supportive at all. It didn't help that I told her. If anything it made me feel more guilty that I had the feelings that I did. I was not forced into therapy as some might think would happen it was something that I just let go. After I got out of the house and my to be husband let me go back to diapers my mom sees an emotional benefit and we talked and she is now happy that I am wearing diapers and encourages it.
If you are close to your mom. I would think that you could have an open and honest talk with her about this. Explain to her how you feel about it. As it has been stated above it could be an emotional issue for you which is a valid reason for wanting diapers.
I don't know if this is allowed but I would also suggest you look up When "Kids Love Diapers " on the net see what you think about it and possibly use it as a reference to help put things into perspective I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted.
 
lilshelly said:
While I agree there could be a cultural issue about diapers in an Asian country. I do not agree with saying that it is stress incontinence. Having bladder or bowel issues is as many have said here before usually caused by another underlying health issue. Parents are often worried about a child's health and that is one way to end up with unwanted doctors visits. I am not sure where the statistics come from but I can tell you they are not accurate.
I will tell you from my own experience as a person who has an American background when I told my mom she was not supportive at all. It didn't help that I told her. If anything it made me feel more guilty that I had the feelings that I did. I was not forced into therapy as some might think would happen it was something that I just let go. After I got out of the house and my to be husband let me go back to diapers my mom sees an emotional benefit and we talked and she is now happy that I am wearing diapers and encourages it.
If you are close to your mom. I would think that you could have an open and honest talk with her about this. Explain to her how you feel about it. As it has been stated above it could be an emotional issue for you which is a valid reason for wanting diapers.
I don't know if this is allowed but I would also suggest you look up When "Kids Love Diapers " on the net see what you think about it and possibly use it as a reference to help put things into perspective I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted.

from where I have this information. it's simple personal experience, and followed by different AB / DL forums and forums related to incontinence. and the most common result is that the result is negative or very negative. the strangest thing I've seen is that some AB / DL parents do not accept that their children are AB / DL, which is still a shame. for my professional experience my mother tolerates it tells me that I would save money if I was not DL, but otherwise I am free, the same for my father (after knowing that I have a rather hard character when want to me force me to do something that is against my interest ), for the rest of my family there is my grandmother who accept moderately, by cons I have one of my aunt who did everything for me to stop, to the point that when I was on vacation at her place decided to hide them the moment I started to return home she began to understand that it was not a good idea, but since I had not that to do I raised the voice like like I was in a black rage, what scared her and oddly she brought them back to me directly, I do not know why after she wanted more than I came (The worst thing is that I had nothing to do that she does not invite me anymore, but I do not even know why like 2 years after she told me that I could come back, What I have never done since (it's been at least 5 years of that) I was simply told that it was necessary to think before touching my stuff.

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Before there is anyone screaming, or I'm 26 years old and I'm still at my mother's house. But you know everyone does not have the same ability, expectation. Everyone did not have the same life course, I understood a lot of things about me since it's last 3 year, which changed my outlook on many things.
 
If you want to, just leave a handwritten letter, vaguely explaining that this isn't a medical issue, and it's nothing for her to worry about. Don't lie, because it'll only make it worse. There doesn't need to be any further explanation about it, because it'll feel like sharing sexual experiences with her (despite or not being or whatever) if she asks for further information just explain that you like to wear them from time to time. I went through the same thing. Leaving it out there for her to come to conclusions isn't the best thing to do like I did. Just vaguely explain and try to move on from it. I know it feels like your under a mountain of weight, but if she were sour with it, you would've already known.

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MeTaLMaNN1983 said:
If you want to, just leave a handwritten letter, vaguely explaining that this isn't a medical issue, and it's nothing for her to worry about. Don't lie, because it'll only make it worse. There doesn't need to be any further explanation about it, because it'll feel like sharing sexual experiences with her (despite or not being or whatever) if she asks for further information just explain that you like to wear them from time to time. I went through the same thing. Leaving it out there for her to come to conclusions isn't the best thing to do like I did. Just vaguely explain and try to move on from it. I know it feels like your under a mountain of weight, but if she were sour with it, you would've already known.

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I think there's more chance that mother thinks it's for medical reasons than anything else.

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Personally I give some advice, if you find it interesting you use it, if you find uninteresting you do not use it, if I was right do not come crying.
 
I'm not saying my experience was positive, and I'm not suggesting to say something if she doesn't know. Some mother's tend to take things seriously, so if she starts insisting a doctor's visit, then give the valtue explanation, do she doesn't burn money on your lie or your embarrassment not to tell.

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MeTaLMaNN1983 said:
I'm not saying my experience was positive, and I'm not suggesting to say something if she doesn't know. Some mother's tend to take things seriously, so if she starts insisting a doctor's visit, then give the valtue explanation, do she doesn't burn money on your lie or your embarrassment not to tell.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

at over 18, parents do not have to know everything about their children, usually incontinence is something you keep for yourself so you can very well have done this tests without talking about it.
 
Sgdlboy said:
I don't think lying to her that im incontinent would be a good idea , i don't want her to worry. she sort of have the idea that im wearing diapers secretly but she didn't pry much , coming from an asian background it's very difficult to just tell her i like wearing diapers , unlike american parents who are mostly understanding and open minded.

I don't know of many American people that feel their parents are mostly understanding and open minded. I think it's pretty universal for children to not feel understood by their parents, the people we most want to be accepted by. There are big differences in communication styles from culture to culture though but the feelings are similar.

Is your diaper wearing the result of some childhood diapering or bedwetting issues and how your mom may have handled that with you? I know many Asian societies try to toilet train much earlier than we do in America, for better or worse. If your mom tried to force you out of diapers before your body was ready, that could have lead to some emotional scars that lead you to wanting to wear diapers again to feel safe. None of this may apply to you, or you may not even really remember it, but it may have happened to a certain extent, as this is very very common result of kids struggling with toilet training or teen bedwetting. If any of this could help you get off your chest, it could help your mom better understand you. Remember, not to blame your mom for this as she was just following what she thought was right without any knowledge of possible unintended consequences. It's more about understanding and accepting each other instead of laying blame for how we got to be who we are.
 
I agree with the above statement your mom might see it as something she caused. I remember more than once in my life my mom thinking that she did something wrong. You have to be able to let her know that this is not something that she did. I don't know how to advise you to do this and I don't want to say anymore as I am not a professional. Just keep us posted.
Hugs Lilshelly
 
If I may add my two cents, I think it’s better that you keep quiet about it. Even if someone were to pick up on it, don’t make a huge stink about it and try to downplay it.

At some point though, when you feel comfortable enough to do so, it might not be a bad idea to let them know, but that is entirely up to you. If you do at some point decide to bring it up, I think the best place to start before telling anyone anything would be to sit down and figure out why exactly you like them. I say this because if and when the time comes that you decide to let someone know, you have a solid and rational answer that is well put-together and a lot more than just a “I don’t know.” I’d take some time to do some research as well, not only for a potential discussion, but also for yourself to help you better understand it. Depending on how your discussion could go, you could show them what you’ve read, and there are a lot of great articles about it.

I would try to approach it lightly if and when the time comes. Maybe try to phrase it as a hypothetical question at first, almost a shits and giggles kind of thing like, “hey mom, did you know some people like to wear diapers for fun?” Something along those lines that doesn’t directly correlate to you, but could give you some indication as to how they potentially could react. If and when a time comes to have a more serious talk, make sure it is at a place and time where you and whomever are comfortable and relaxed. It is a tough subject to talk about, but any sort of preceding stress or anxiety or whatnot could potentially makes things worse from the beginning. Make sure you have a constructive conversation throughout, and do your best to keep emotion, arguing, or anything like that out of it. It all could be for nothing, or it could go really well, who knows? Still, being prepared for this conversation should you choose to at some point have it is big.

For now, though, it’d be best to keep it under wraps. Just keep in mind preparing yourself for a potential talk about it.
 
trysexiea said:
at over 18, parents do not have to know everything about their children, usually incontinence is something you keep for yourself so you can very well have done this tests without talking about it.

I would say it varies by family. I'm well over 18 but if I had a persistent medical problem (not just incontinence), I think I'd be letting my parents know before long. I doubt I'd be involving them at the early stages but if it became more involved or a diagnosis was made, I'd feel obliged to let them know. I'm pretty sure they'd do so if the situation was reversed. They've been forthcoming before.
 
Trevor said:
I would say it varies by family. I'm well over 18 but if I had a persistent medical problem (not just incontinence), I think I'd be letting my parents know before long. I doubt I'd be involving them at the early stages but if it became more involved or a diagnosis was made, I'd feel obliged to let them know. I'm pretty sure they'd do so if the situation was reversed. They've been forthcoming before.

Yes but have talked about non-medical incontinence, So something that does not really affect, and in any case does not affect other people in the family
 
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