Finding A Little

I honestly dont realy know how to go about this. Im not exactly socialy inept, but how would that even come up in conversation? Iv tried stuff like adds, meet sites and the like, with results, but nothing beyond a few sentences or rps. Any suggestions, sites or anything? Am I going at this wrong? Im Not desprate or anything im just curious about others thoughts and experiences.

Hmmmm, interesting seeing a post like this from the caregiver perspective.

Honestly, I'd say the approach wouldn't be much different from a Little/AB and how they would go about finding a Mommy or a Daddy.

Try online sites. Fetlife is still the best for this, although your mileage may vary. Message people respectfully, join local groups and see if there are any munches for your local area. If there are munches, attend them. You may or may not find a true partner this way, but you can meet friends with similar interests and plenty of AB/DLs.

Also, just dating someone and introducing them to the caregiver side of yourself or the ABDL community can work as well. I know many ABs found their caregivers and vice versa by taking the proper time to date and work at a relationship. I know this method isn't always effective and it may take some time, but it is what a lot of ABs, DLs and Caregivers live by. It worked for me once

As for how this comes up in regular conversation... that is a good question? Maybe you could drop subtle hints? I've overheard AB/DLs come up in regular, everyday conversations among peers and passersby. I guess if you're comfortable enough with someone, just about anything can enter into casual conversation.

Perhaps, what I'm trying to say is, there really is no surefire way to find someone from either end of the spectrum; there's no surefire way for an AB/Little to find a Mommy/Daddy/Caregiver and there's no surefire way for a Caregiver to find a Little. I have had success in various ways; my first GF/Mommy was just someone I dated for a while and told when the time was right, I found my Mommy friend through a Craigslist personals ad, my current Mommy/GF reached out to me on a Fetlife account I rarely frequent and now we e-mail and skype each other constantly.

There truly is someone out there for everyone, you seem to have some good ideas yourself on how to go about finding a Little and I think I've given you some starting points. I'm sure others will chime in with their advice on the matter as well.

Best of luck to you

I highly suggest AGAINST Fetlife, especially if you're looking for someone close to your age. (Don't let me discourage trying, but don't expect much)

I have the opposite end of the spectrum issue however, as a little looking for a caregiver/big, I find I'm often contacted by people on Fetlife who do not read my profile at all. I mean I have a lot on there but I'm not asking for someone to read all of it, just read the first few sentences at least. Then you get these pretentious people who contact you, in their profiles they explicitly put that they don't read profiles, but expect you to read theirs? I mean come on. Fetlife is a clusterfuck, and I do not recommend it for anyone. I've yet to really meet anyone on there that I talk to regularly.

That said the vast majority of people on fetlife are littles as opposed to caretakers, at least in my experience, so you might have better luck than I did as I'm looking for a caretaker and not a little, but be weary, there are some pretty creepy people on there. Again, Don't let it discourage you, it's still worth a try, I'm just saying don't expect much.

If you want to find a little you have to also find a partner on an adult level who you can connect with. I spent plenty of time on rp but it doesn't mean you feel a genuine bond until you can be friends too. Some people have different priorities but this is how it was in my experience. It's mostly just luck in finding someone you want to be with all the time and build a relationship with that's mutually loving. If you can't establish that then it probably won't work out.

I was introduced to it by my little roughly 5 months into the relationship

I have to agree with addyshadows on the whole fetlife issue. I keep getting contacted by some creepy overzealous people. They get clingy real fast and come of exceptionally creepy. It seems that no one wants to just talk with me. Instead it’s all about diapers and kinks. It would be nice to just talk to somone about things other than diaper. I’m still on fet life look for a caretaker or mate but I don’t hold out much hope for that website.

nightfox320 said:

I have to agree with addyshadows on the whole fetlife issue. I keep getting contacted by some creepy overzealous people. They get clingy real fast and come of exceptionally creepy. It seems that no one wants to just talk with me. Instead it’s all about diapers and kinks. It would be nice to just talk to somone about things other than diaper. I’m still on fet life look for a caretaker or mate but I don’t hold out much hope for that website.

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I've heard some success stories but yeah, pretty much my experience perfectly described.

I've been wanting to find a caregiver, but I'm scared that there's a discrepancy between my (entirely non-sexual) lifestyle and the types of relationships that others seem to be seeking on here. Not that there's anything wrong with people who have this fetish (in fact, I applaud them for being able to explore that type of territory to understand themselves more, sexually), but I ultimately fear that the person who I end up trusting to such an extent to allow them to be my caregiver will expect me to experiment with something sexual.
Also, I still have this fleeting wish that I'll meet a person my age, in real life, that I will fall in love with and they will accept me and my little side. A person that will respect my wishes to keep this activity strictly out of the bedroom. Sadly, it seems that the public conception of age-regression seems to be synonymized with abdl, ddlg, and other fetish communities. The last person I dated tried to pressure me into being sexual, like in ddlg. I'm sorry, no. When I'm mentally 4 years old, I can't conceptualize sex. The notion of doing anything sexual would immediately yank me out of littlespace and ruin it for me.
That's why I don't want to go on fetlife. Tumblr is extremely impersonal. And I'm still getting used to the adisc community, which has people with very diverse interests. It's going to take a long time for me to find that "fit".

TB333 said:

I honestly dont realy know how to go about this. Im not exactly socialy inept, but how would that even come up in conversation? Iv tried stuff like adds, meet sites and the like, with results, but nothing beyond a few sentences or rps. Any suggestions, sites or anything? Am I going at this wrong? Im Not desprate or anything im just curious about others thoughts and experiences.

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I'm in a similar situation. I've been wanting a little of my own for a long time, and haven't been able to find someone just yet. I personally don't really post much about looking for others online. Because I know that would just get me bombarded with messages. I typically get about 3-5 messages a week from people that learn that I'm a daddy and are looking for someone to daddy them.

Most of the requests are completely ridiculous, and I'm not sure why people don't think before sending their message. I know some people are desperate to find a caretaker. I'll usually get a message similar to this one at least once or twice a week: "Hi, I just learned that you're a daddy. I live at ____________. Will you please come to visit me and daddy me? I also don't have any diapers or anything, so you'll need to buy & bring that stuff. I can't do this where I live, so we'll also need to get a hotel room, and you'll have to pay for that as well. I know it's a 6 hour drive for you, but I can't help with gas either. When can you be here? Can you take off work this week, and daddy me for the entire week / weekend?"

For me personally, finding a little would be a very intimate relationship. They would be a partner to me in a romantic / sexual sense, so I don't want to rush into anything.

I personally would not post any "want ads".

Get on social media and get to know others. There's a few that I've been getting to know over the past months, that I think would be a good fit for the both of us in a big / little relationship.

I wish you the best.

Mattew said:

I'm in a similar situation. I've been wanting a little of my own for a long time, and haven't been able to find someone just yet. I personally don't really post much about looking for others online. Because I know that would just get me bombarded with messages. I typically get about 3-5 messages a week from people that learn that I'm a daddy and are looking for someone to daddy them.

Most of the requests are completely ridiculous, and I'm not sure why people don't think before sending their message. I know some people are desperate to find a caretaker. I'll usually get a message similar to this one at least once or twice a week: "Hi, I just learned that you're a daddy. I live at ____________. Will you please come to visit me and daddy me? I also don't have any diapers or anything, so you'll need to buy & bring that stuff. I can't do this where I live, so we'll also need to get a hotel room, and you'll have to pay for that as well. I know it's a 6 hour drive for you, but I can't help with gas either. When can you be here? Can you take off work this week, and daddy me for the entire week / weekend?"

For me personally, finding a little would be a very intimate relationship. They would be a partner to me in a romantic / sexual sense, so I don't want to rush into anything.

I personally would not post any "want ads".

Get on social media and get to know others. There's a few that I've been getting to know over the past months, that I think would be a good fit for the both of us in a big / little relationship.

I wish you the best.

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As a little I get a bit of the flip side of this, but the same general idea, I've had people be like "HEY WE'LL GO TO YOUR PLACE, YOU PROVIDE EVERYTHING, OH ALSO BTW, YOU'LL NEED TO COMPENSATE ME FOR MESSAGING YOU OFFERING TO VISIT YOU, AND I WANT YOU TO *Insert some kink that's a hard limit for most people like eaiting their vomit or something* BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING, OH, YEAH, AND YOUR NAME IS NOW BRITNEY" (not a joke, I seriously got a message like that once.)

TB333 said:

I honestly dont realy know how to go about this. Im not exactly socialy inept, but how would that even come up in conversation? Iv tried stuff like adds, meet sites and the like, with results, but nothing beyond a few sentences or rps. Any suggestions, sites or anything? Am I going at this wrong? Im Not desprate or anything im just curious about others thoughts and experiences.

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You want to be a Daddy?Are you looking for a daddy's girl or a sissie? lmao

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Mattew said:

I'm in a similar situation. I've been wanting a little of my own for a long time, and haven't been able to find someone just yet. I personally don't really post much about looking for others online. Because I know that would just get me bombarded with messages. I typically get about 3-5 messages a week from people that learn that I'm a daddy and are looking for someone to daddy them.

Most of the requests are completely ridiculous, and I'm not sure why people don't think before sending their message. I know some people are desperate to find a caretaker. I'll usually get a message similar to this one at least once or twice a week: "Hi, I just learned that you're a daddy. I live at ____________. Will you please come to visit me and daddy me? I also don't have any diapers or anything, so you'll need to buy & bring that stuff. I can't do this where I live, so we'll also need to get a hotel room, and you'll have to pay for that as well. I know it's a 6 hour drive for you, but I can't help with gas either. When can you be here? Can you take off work this week, and daddy me for the entire week / weekend?"

For me personally, finding a little would be a very intimate relationship. They would be a partner to me in a romantic / sexual sense, so I don't want to rush into anything.

I personally would not post any "want ads".

Get on social media and get to know others. There's a few that I've been getting to know over the past months, that I think would be a good fit for the both of us in a big / little relationship.

I wish you the best.

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Well said chap. I see why you got rep points. As a little, I see your side quite well. Maybe you could take a lover and convince them to be little sometimes. Couples often explore one another's fantasies however bizarre they seem to the outside world.

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Amaya said:

Go fuck yourself

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What is wrong? I am concerned for you. Did someone offend you? (watch out for Mods)

Wow, those kinds of requests are completely ridiculous, and yeah it sounds much better to find someone you click with and maybe they will be into ABDL.

I would like to have a Mommy some day, but I believe a partnership should be shared 50/50 in some way and I'm not really in a state of mind where I feel like putting myself out there.

As for Amaya, idk what their deal is but they have used the same vulgar reply to a lot of topics.

As I've tried to tell people before. Try not to go into a situation only looking for a caretaker. That's not going to look good, and people might actually avoid the situation. Try to get to know people, as people. Make friends. In time, a caretaker relationship can present itself. Many cubs are switches, and will agree to do some caretaker stuff for you, if you do it for them in return.

There's nothing more annoying to a big, to be contacted by someone and one of their first things to ask is, "Are you really a daddy / caretaker / mommy?" We immediately know where the conversation is going, and why we've been contacted. With many big / little relationships, it usually gets one sided very quickly, and can leave a big burned out. We are constantly being treated as an object that does nothing but: dress, diaper, check, feed, etc.

extremecomfy said:

You want to be a Daddy?Are you looking for a daddy's girl or a sissie? lmao

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Im looking for a girl...

extremecomfy said:

What is wrong? I am concerned for you. Did someone offend you? (watch out for Mods)

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I think thats an account "hacker" Probly some wannabe script kiddie that thinks there cool becouse they can guess an acount password, then spread vulgar language on a forum. Some people have nothing better to do. :lol:

TB333 said:

Im looking for a girl...





I think thats an account "hacker" Probly some wannabe script kiddie that thinks there cool becouse they can guess an acount password, then spread vulgar language on a forum. Some people have nothing better to do. [emoji38]

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FetLife is a pretty nice resource but mileage may vary depending on where you live.

So far I have found a good handful of ABDLs, DLs, and Littles.

And yep I'm thinking Amaya was "hacked" or something judging by the drastic shift in tone. Could have been someone getting on their account left open on a computer or something. Which sounds like the most plausible explanation imo

Sheepies said:

And yep I'm thinking Amaya was "hacked" or something judging by the drastic shift in tone. Could have been someone getting on their account left open on a computer or something. Which sounds like the most plausible explanation imo

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Amaya's account has been closed.

Finding a AB/DL on fetlife that's actually a girl is very hard. It there are virtually no 'confirmed' females that even post on fetlife outside of private conversations, and I can't say I blame them, from what I've seen when there is someone who is actually a girl that's not either trans or something, they get swarmed.

Which for me kinda sucks being trans cause most people are looking for straight up females. Oh well lol.

I just want to point out that you also get perfectly normal people on fetlife who are willing to get to know you before diving into intimate things. I recently had lunch at a public place with someone IRL who was willing to get to know me at a reasonable pace before we got to that point. I'm not sure when we'll meet next due to our schedules but the take away is that reasonable people do exit on fetlife. Fetlife is also a good place to discuss events.

hex000f said:

I just want to point out that you also get perfectly normal people on fetlife who are willing to get to know you before diving into intimate things. I recently had lunch at a public place with someone IRL who was willing to get to know me at a reasonable pace before we got to that point. I'm not sure when we'll meet next due to our schedules but the take away is that reasonable people do exit on fetlife. Fetlife is also a good place to discuss events.

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Oh no I know there are perfectly normal people on there, its finding them that's difficult.