Purging Sucks.

I’ve been MIA for a while...I ended up throwing out everything. My onsie, pacifiers, and diapers. I tried to see if I could not be a part of this world. I know for sure, that I can’t deny this part of myself.

Has anyone else purged? I’m guessing someone has.... What was it like for you?

I had some Lil’ Monsters diapers and...wow...they were awesome. I remember loving the feeling of waking up in a wet diaper. It was pure bliss. I’m looking forward to having that again.

I purged only once, back when I was first starting out. Even though I only pitched some lousy Depends at the time, I still remember the feeling; hot, ashamed, embarrassed and wasteful, they may have been crummy diapers, but I spent money on those and there I was pitching them away like they were nothing.

You'll likely get responses from others who have dealt with purging more frequently than I, but I know from hearing stories that this can be a very persistent and annoying part of being an AB.

I found that when I bought primo diapers and AB clothes and all the other accessories for the first time, that I didn't have any inclination towards tossing anything like I did with the Depends years prior... maybe I had more self-acceptance than some at that time.

At the end of the day, the only real way to conquer the purge is to realize that this is always going to be a part of you (sounds like you're pretty much there on this point), accept that there's nothing wrong with being an AB and continue buying and adding to your stash... when you can of course, you don't want to start binging either, best to find a happy medium.

The more you buy, use, embrace, the easier it will become and the less you'll want to purge. Also, getting your own place helps too, I have had friends who never really conquered the binge/purge cycle until they had a place of their own and the extra privacy and confidence that came with it.

I think it's definitely in your best interest, anyones best interest really to just keep at it and try to overcome this, soon you'll fully accept this side of yourself more and you won't be wasting money only to purge your items. AB diapers and clothes are expensive and wonderful, you don't want to toss that stuff away

Best of luck to you

I used to have those feelings, mostly as a teen. My stash wasn't much to talk about, so it was easy enough just to leave it in the closet and not to think about it for a while. I did throw things out a few times when living at home but most often that was a more practical reaction to having things found or the more viable threat of them being found.

By the time I threw away my last stash at my parents' house, I wouldn't really call it a purge. I had accepted that this was a part of me that wasn't going away but had decided that having the paraphernalia was too great a risk of upsetting my family. It was much better when I got out on my own and didn't have to worry about discovery. Accept yourself and your harmless quirks and you'll be happier.

Right, I think I’ll just have to save money over time and wait until I have my own place.

Trevor said:

I used to have those feelings, mostly as a teen. My stash wasn't much to talk about, so it was easy enough just to leave it in the closet and not to think about it for a while. I did throw things out a few times when living at home but most often that was a more practical reaction to having things found or the more viable threat of them being found.

By the time I threw away my last stash at my parents' house, I wouldn't really call it a purge. I had accepted that this was a part of me that wasn't going away but had decided that having the paraphernalia was too great a risk of upsetting my family. It was much better when I got out on my own and didn't have to worry about discovery. Accept yourself and your harmless quirks and you'll be happier.

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3 weeks ago I had a purge, I hauled 42 bags of diapers to the local Salvation Army, well over $1000 worth of adult diapers.
My life has taken a turn and diapers no longer fit into it.
It will be tough to relearn to control my bladder and bowels but it is what I must do so I will do it.

Years ago, I purged my girl clothes a few times. Then I realized it was a part of me.

the dreaded purge and binge. And its always a false dawn coz it all comes back no matter what. May I recommend to you an article on this topic? https://abdiscover.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/binge-and-purge.pdf

Well worth reading and it really hits the spot. it is about your own selfimage.

This, and also try out the search function here. In short, yes it comes up. Often.

Yeah... Binge and Purge is kinda ABDL 101

sux tho until you sort your self out with it.

I am so sorry first of all that you felt so bad about yourself that you had a purge. We all have those feelings, being a adult baby, adult toddler, or even a little can be lonely and can be hard to except. For years I have had days where I go to sleep praying I can wake up and be "normal" a grown adult and a "fully functioning part of society". During the holiday season it is even harder to keep from purging. Mostly because we don't match up with most adults and many of us dream of others seeing us the way we feel. I can not even count the amount of times I purged just to end up realizing I cant push the little girl inside away... It breaks my heart to read posts like this because i know the pain you felt in that moment so well, I have danced with the binge and purge cycle so much that i can relate very well... The thing is I cant speak for everybody but as a child when asked what I want to be I know my answer was not, I want to be a toddler, wear diapers, drink from a bottle or sippy cup and have a "caregiver". That being said we did not choose this lifestyle, it chose us if I could have changed it or it was a phase, I would have 12 or so years ago... I really hope your in a better mindset Love Hugs And Rainbows

I think I reached a point also where I realized I just have to accept it... Plain and simple... As much as I hate it sometimes....

We hate it because we love it!

I went about a year in college and moving in with someone before realizing all of my interactions and troubles and anxieties were amplified because my inner child was being ignored. It's almost as if I was doing to my inner child what my parents had done to me in my childhood, ignoring and invalidating my existence.

I think being AB is quite literally like having a little child fused to your psyche. Sometimes taking care of a child gets tiresome and old.

And that's okay.

Put the little stuff away and be an adult. Don't be so brash on yourself for having love for something. Just make yourself comfortable.
Don't beat yourself up, get yourself down. Reassure yourself when you feel like purging.
Remedy toxic thoughts with sound and solid good ones.

We are sensitive and gentle!!
Tending to our needs and desires is healthy!
Who says being this way hurts people?
Being myself is important.
Practicing my interests is healthy as safe, there's no harm in it.

In my experience, getting tiresome of littlespace is the only way I can '"get away from it'"

Really the whole purging thing is just linked to shame. And shame is the fear of being vulnerable. Part of ridding ourselves of shame is accepting ALL aspects of ourselves and another part of it is accepting that others may somehow know about that side..... and thats okay if it comes to that too. It has to be, how will you ever be okay with your own life?

I mean you seriously have to get to that point of acceptance.

Life gets better when you accept yourself for who you are, no matter what your age.

I had purged when I was younger by my own choice. I had one forced purged 7 years ago by my wife's insistance. I have done some very deep thinking about myself and now accepted myself. Since my wife passed away, I have no further reason to purge again. Life should have some happiness in it. Accept what makes you happy.

ABDL stuff is so expensive too dont purge until youve used up diapers

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I threw away all of my AB stuff a few months ago and I remember thinking that I had made the right decision and feeling that it was for the best because my s/o felt uncomfortable with me regressing in his presence and whenever I tried to regress alone, I felt isolated and depressed. About a month later, I has realized I made a mistake. My s/o told me that I would regret throwing everything away and insisted I hold on to one thing just in case I changed my mind in the future, and although I didn't believe him at the time, he was right.

I ended up blaming him for throwing my things away even though I was the reason, and he always tried his best to be supportive of my AB side. I've spent the last couple of months working on accepting myself and realizing that this part of me isn't going away.

Something to try might be just starting out with small things like coloring, watching cartoons, and cuddling a stuffie or blanket. Once you are able to accept this part of you, you will feel more comfortable using items like the ones you previously owned. I think many of us are still working on accepting this part of ourselves, because it takes time.

I remember purging mainly because while I lived with my mom, having diapers in the house was a huge risk, not really because I was ashamed. I feel bad sometimes for my wife because she accepts my little side but sometimes it gets in the way of me being the husband she needs. I'm working on that but I think the diapers and other stuff is a symbol for the side of me that I accept but is sometimes frustrating for those who love me.

sallyanne said:

Yeah... Binge and Purge is kinda ABDL 101

sux tho until you sort your self out with it.

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I have had my own issues with binging and purging myself with respect to being an Adult Baby.
But at age 60, I am comfortable with being an Adult Baby.

Yes the famous what's wrong with me I just need to be 'normal' like everyone else. Well we don't ask what they like to do and probably wouldn't care anyway. As others have said it's part of you and probably always will be. Better to just box things up if you need to 'Adult' for a while then see how you feel. Stuff is too expensive and sometimes hard to come by to have to rebuild your 'Little' collection. Someone once said to me 'everyone is normal till you get to know them'. A life's truth I think. Acceptance is sometimes hard but the sooner you get comfortable with it the easier it is to live.

binkyb said:

Yes the famous what's wrong with me I just need to be 'normal' like everyone else. Well we don't ask what they like to do and probably wouldn't care anyway. As others have said it's part of you and probably always will be. Better to just box things up if you need to 'Adult' for a while then see how you feel. Stuff is too expensive and sometimes hard to come by to have to rebuild your 'Little' collection. Someone once said to me 'everyone is normal till you get to know them'. A life's truth I think. Acceptance is sometimes hard but the sooner you get comfortable with it the easier it is to live.

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Totally agree.
Had the purge experience/cycles and still have and will have...
I think they will come even with you accepting yourself (the term is binge purge cycle).

ABDL is great but it is not accepted in general, and don't think it will be, but we like it and it is nothing wrong in that.
It is your money, your time, your enjoyment ... so if it is not doing you (or anyone else) a harm, why be so hard on you.
Yes, it is different than most people do, but so what?
Maybe there is no that thing as "most" because "most" is consistent of individuals ... and also from smaller parts like this community.
So, nobody here is alone (in wider perspective). The hardest part is really for people unaware of these and similar communities that are at the begging of their journey. But when you start it the main goal is acceptance from yourself.

Yes, for some there will always be guilt and shame in some way...but it means that you are thinking and growing (and that is hard in a way). But it doesn't mean we have to be so hard on ourselves individually. So try to have understanding for you: it is a part of you, and who you are. You can't be somebody else. Somebody else has its own problems also. You are who you are. We all seek other peoples acceptance first, but our acceptance is the goal here. So try to find the positive ways/effects of ABDL on you and reason why do you enjoy it.

GDNTSKID said:

I've purged a couple of times. I threw away diapers, clothing, accessories that I liked and know I will never get back. When I threw everything away I felt powerful, like I had a grip on things and I was in control of this. I went almost a year without any form of regression, and then the familiarity of it all started to come back to me. I would have vivid dreams where I was wearing or regressing. When I woke up from those dreams, I realized I really missed wearing diapers and the AB things I enjoyed. I was upset with myself that I threw out the diapers, clothing, toys and accessories I had at the time. Needless to say I caved, that was about 6 years ago, and I haven't purged since.

I think purging is a natural step to acceptance of this lifestyle. I purged in my teens to mid twenties, when I thought this was something I was shameful of and didn't fit in to who I was as a person.I still struggle with that from time to time. I never understood why I enjoyed this, hell no one does, but since I have come to terms that regressing is something I enjoy and could not go without. If you are adamant about getting rid of this, then I suggest you keep abstaining from these activities. See how far you can go. I know from my own personal experiences that this is too powerful for me to get rid of.

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I am having extremely vivid dreams too; about regressing, wearing, etc. I had such a vivid dream, I almost missed the bathroom when I woke up that morning.
I am happy that the dreams haven’t led to me perharming any behavior detrimental to my wellbeing. That’s really, really great from my standpoint.

I actually found an actual store that sells medical brand diapers (that aren’t crap-quality). It’s right by where I usually get gas too. So, it’s an easy trip when I get gas. I’m thinking of planning a trip there. It’s an area I don’t go to very often. I’m reallly debating whether or not I want to go there. Well, especially since it’s such a private thing