Need some support/advice on diapers for medical issues.

Hi first of sorry if this is in the wrong forum. If it is please move it. I am wondering if anyone could help me and give me some advice because this has really been stressing me out to no ends. I got diagnosed with severe anxiety recently along with PTSD, Social anxiety disorder, Panic Disorder and Generalized anxiety disorder. And IBS.

I am currently undergoing therapy for my anxiety and panic attacks. It's been helping recently. I am currently taking medicine to control my anxiety. I am under medicine for ibs as well for constipation. I have been talking to my therapist that I have been having mild accidents lately. Mostly from anxiety. She has told me anxiety can cause adults to have accidents in bed, etc. I am a 27 year old male and feel embarrassed. But I am also and diaper lover as well. I was wondering if fellow diaper lovers can help me out and give me advice. I was told by my psychiatrist and doctor I should give the adult diapers a try. Because my psychiatrist and therapist were the ones who told me I should be on them before to help control my anxiety while I'm on medication for it. Plus it'll help me manage my ibs.

I've been coming back recently and they noticed the diapers have been helping me feel more calm and confident while being out in public. I am getting mixed feelings about the diapers though probably because I'm not used to them yet.

I am not having issues where I found out my ibs is anxiety related. Meaning my anxiety triggers my ibs because I had a mild accident the other night. Yes I accidentally wet my self. I am going through a miserable and stressful time here. I am also having poop slipping out too from time to time one of the reasons why I was told to wear the diapers.

I talked to my psychiatrist a few days ago about the accidents. She says I should continue wearing adult diapers because for one she said that she noticed a huge difference in me when she said I looked comfortable and confident and less anxious wearing them. Does wearing diapers help you feel less anxious in public? Is there some thing that causes you to feel that way? I get bad nerves because I feel like I have to wet my self in crowded places. But once I go to the bathroom I feel like I don't need to go.

If my psychiatrist and doctor both suggest me to wear adult diapers. Should I listen to them and stop stressing over it? Or would not listening to them make things worse? And I am also attending an adult day program that helps adults with special needs get out in the community and do outings and get involved and be more socialbe etc. She wants me to wear adult diapers/pullups in case I start feeling anxious and feeling nervous beause I fear that I might have an accident in public due to anxiety.

I also was told wearing them is a good thing on my end because it reduces anxiety and majority of adults have accidents from anxiety. So I guess I'm not the only one. I made the mistake of telling my care giver that my psychiatrist wants me to wear pullups and she snapped and said I don't need them because she thinks that girls wouldn't want to date me and that they tell you these things because they think you need them. But she doesn't understand the condition I am in. And my adult day program has nurse on staff in case I ever have an accident from my ibs etc. What do you guys think I should do? I'm going under allot of pressure here and I feel like no one understands the shit I'm going through at this point. And they really think the diapers will help me allot. A friend told me if someone finds out about my diapers it will ruin my social life but I don't have social life as it is because I don't like people that well. Any advice will be appreciated. Sorry for giving out too much info I can't take the stress anymore. XD And my place specializes in dealing with people like me too so it'll help me allot. Thanks and have a good day/evening. Sorry for the long post. I was also told by my psychiatrist that my constipation medicine can make me prone to accidents too. Especially if my anxiety is bad. And what should i do if a girl I like finds out I wear diapers too or a friend for medical issues? Is my caregiver just worrying? Thanks.

Leio said:

Hey Veren,

Firstly, I would like to say hi and I love your profile pic.

Now on the topic of your anxiety, I will just open up by saying that I also have some of the diagnoses that you have. I also have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It's pretty much under control with the help of my meds and therapy. I would like to advise you to take the advice of your psychiatrist and doctor. Having accidents is very stressful and I can attest to that fact (I've recently become urinary incontinent). For me personally, wearing diapers lessens my anxiety somewhat because I know that if I have an accident, it is much less likely that I will get caught in an embarrassing situation where I have wet pants in public.

Remember that an emotional need for diapers is just as valid as a physical need for diapers. It seems like you are reaping a lot of benefits from it. And if it helps you with both your accidents and anxiety, then well that's great. If you feel like the diapers are helping you, then you should continue wearing.

Regarding the comment that your caregiver made about diapers cutting into your dating life, I would beg to differ. There are people that won't understand/accept your need for diapers. That said, there are open minded people out there who will accept you for who you are. As for your friend that said that diapers will kill your social life, that's simply not true. If a person is so shallow that they can't deal with one facet of you (the part about your need to wear diapers), then they are probably not a person that you want in your life. Most people have 101 different things on their mind, and whether the person in front of them is wearing diapers is the 1001 thought on their mind. People don't really notice unless you make it blatantly obvious that you are wearing them. Even if someone does notice, they probably won't say anything. They'll just think it's for a medical reason and they'll move on with your day.

I also understand your mixed feelings that you have about diapers. Personally, I'm still getting used to wearing diapers. I only recently began needing diapers during the day and my mixed feelings comes from the anxiety of people finding out about my diapers.

In short, there are things to stress about, but diapers shouldn't be one of them. They make you feel better and they help with your IBS issues, so it's pretty much a win-win.

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Thank you for understanding. I have a couple people supporting me with the diaper situation. When I first wore my pullups for the first time that my doctor prescribed to me I felt a bit relief. He also doesn't mind if I have to wear them either so getting him to let me wear them was a hard part because he thought I didn't need them until I told him I was having mild accidents from anxiety. He also told me that I should talk to my psychiatrist about it because he thinks she would know what to do.

So I asked her and she is being supportive about it. It really is embarrassing though having to worry about wetting or poo slipping out by accident in public or where ever you are because ibs can be triggered any time. Mine is anxiety based like I said. I was just freaking out because I don't want anyone thinking I was using my ibs as an excuse to wear diapers. Even if I am a diaper lover I still have medical problems that need adjusted. So it's been hell for me back and fourth. Etc. The good thing about what you said it is indeed a "Win win" on both cases. Being a ABDL that actually have IBS is frustrating. But like you said if they are making me wear diapers to prevent actual accidents then I guess it is a good thing. It saves me the trouble from embarrassment, etc. Especially if I have to go grocery shopping or to the movies. Etc. I just want to find someone to accept me for who I am for wearing diapers because I don't have a choice at this point. I'm just wearing them to manage the ibs so I won't have to wear them anymore. Thanks for the support. for situations like being on a adult day program especially if your on a van with bad anxiety and having to prevent your self from wetting your self can be really nerve wrecking. Trying to hold it in with out having a diaper on you sucks. I was told diapers are for people who are fully handy capped, unstable, and In wheel chairs by my care giver. But in this case in situations like these I have to wear them to prevent me from soiling my self. Some people just don't understand. Thanks.

Hi Veren

To echo what Leio has said, if both your doctor and your psychiatrist think that you should be wearing diapers to manage your IBS, then I would go for it. If they help you feel more calmer and relaxed, even better. They're there to give you peace of mind over accidents.

I have a serious chronic illness which causes my bladder incontinence but also some anxiety issues. While these are not as severe as yours, I have had counselling and CBT in the last few years on how to manage them, so I have a window into the worries you must be wrestling with. I also have a tendency to overthink some of my worries - so you're not the only one who does this. And going back into diapers as a young adult isn't easy, no matter what the reason is or how needed they are. But it's more common than you think. As someone who has experience of living with other disabilities, incontinence is a disability as well, it's just less visible than some others and it has more stigma attached to it.

For a long time I wrestled whether my diapers were for a medical need or just a comfort blanket, as incontinence isn't a common symptom for my illness. Because it was so unknown it took me ten years to get a diagnosis for it. As you can imagine, this didn't help my mental state much, having a key part of my body break down for no apparent reason. Eventually, I realised that I need diapers for both my incontinence AND for comfort - due to the severe chronic pain I'm in 24/7 from the hips down. And it's nerve pain which even strong painkillers can't take away, only numb it - slightly. So if my diapers give me some pain relief as well, that's fine with me.

As for friendships/relationships, what matters most is trust. I agonised about telling a group of friends about my issues for years, but once I did, I was so relieved as they were so accepting of it. It also meant that I never needed to worry about them seeing my diaper peek out of my jeans, or if I had an accident. They know I wear diapers and they're fine with it. This strategy does depend on who your friends are, but if you've been able to tell them about some of your other medical issues, why should this be any different?

I've added you as a friend - feel free to message me if you have any other questions.

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002

Veren said:

I was just freaking out because I don't want anyone thinking I was using my ibs as an excuse to wear diapers. Even if I am a diaper lover I still have medical problems that need adjusted.

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You don't need an excuse, though it sound like you have a reason anyway. Don't stress yourself out over how you think others are judging you. Most of the time they're not, and when they are, you can either ignore them or just tell them where they can shove their opinion

Life's too short to waste time on what others think of you. Do what makes you happy.

Hi! I'd like to comment on one that you mentioned regarding your caregiver. At the end of the day, their job is to help care for you, not make medical decisions for you. They should NOT be pressuring you too not wear diapers, that is not their job! If your doctor and psychiatrist but say you should wear diapers then you care givers MUST follow your doctor's orders and respect your decision! To say diapers are only for fully handicaped people is both absurd and completely incorrect!! To try and pressure you into not wearing by telling you that you shouldn't wear them because girls won't date you is simply mean and manipulation! It is not your caregivers decision, it is YOUR decision only! Let your doctor's and psychiatrist help guide you and then make your own decision based on what is best for YOU!!

Sorry if I come across upset, I'm just tired of stupid people trying to manipulate others! I wish you the best of luck dealing with this situation!!

Been there, done that. Beng a life long DL I struggled with it after becoming urge incontinent. It was like I felt my mediacal need might have been an excuse, and that at the same time I felt guilty to having an excuse to legitimately wear them.

My advice, don't think that way. You legitimately need them for physical reasons AND legitimately need them for mental reasons. This is neither an excuse OR something to feel guilty about. Wear them as you know you need to, and enjoy wearing them as you know you want to.

think of ibs like a landmine and diapers like balastics armor... not always the prettiest things, but when crap happens you are glad they are there.

As a 50+ year old professional with an advanced degree working for a major corporation - I like to think of myself as an RESPECTED IMPORTANT PERSON... (say with the deep, 'In a world...' movie trailer voice) but when I started having general anxiety and was taking medication that caused occasional bowel incontinence (passing gas + 'extras'...) I when straight to wearing a diaper so I could continue without worrying constantly. I continued for a while even after I stopped the medication because the diaper wearing did help with stress. I need them less now and haven't worn in a while (I have quite a stash now, however:smile. Do what you feel is right for you - and if wearing a diaper makes you special - your damn right your special!

Good Luck!!

I'm guessing wearing diapers can contribute to social anxiety, so in your case it's kinda like taking a sleeping pill and washing it down with a red bull.

You have a medical necessity to wear diapers. The true colors of your friends will be displayed. You'll know who your true friends are. They most likely won't change anything. If they have a negative reaction, you really don't need to be surrounded by people like that.

Incontinence issues affect millions of people. There's steps you can take to help with the bowel accidents. You should look in to Nullo internal deodorant. It helps significantly with the smell and will help with that anxiety.

Diapers can be shameful for both AB/DLs and incontinent people. You just happen to be both. Just try not to think about it too much. Dismiss your negative thoughts and occupy it with something else.

I would also look in to having your caretaker replaced. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with them, if it's professional, they shouldn't be negatively shaming you. It's downright disrespectful. They are in the wrong profession with a mind like that.

You need to get rid of all the negativity that you can, around you, to feel better about yourself. So if friends, or caretakers have a negative affect on you, it's time to wash your hands of them and move on. You have a right to live without the stress or the pressure to live to their expectations, and you have the power to make that happen.

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Thank you all for your support!!! Now I feel like I can wear diapers at ease. My mom is pretty chilled with me wearing Depends if I keep it to my self. As being a 27 year old male with a learning disability with mental health issues. She said she doesn't mind me wearing them if I keep them to my self. I often get urine leakage when I'm out in public so it's really embarrassing to hold it in. Im still living with my parents so it's hard to deal with this sort of thing.

My mom has found a new medical provider for the family through the board of developmental disabilities so they help people like me and my brothers get out the house and do activities and such and socialize more. The guys specialize with anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, IBS, bipolar, moodswings, etc because that's what I have. I need someone's advice on this because I don't know if I should bring it up or not. Should I tell the new caregiver aka provider that does the outtings that my doctor and psychiatrist says I should wear the diapers because they help me feel in that save zone when I'm in public? Especially if my IBS/Anxiety acts up? I was in the car today with my staff and I felt like I had to wet my self a bit due to anxiety and I know these types of people specialize in situations like this. Thanks for understanding and being supportive. I don't want to take any chances or having the new people think I'm a freak either. I want to let them flat out know I have a medical condition and see if they can help me because I don't want to make a mess in their car if that makes sense. Thanks On top of that there won't be a bathroom near by too if that makes sense so I wanted someone's input on that. I don't want to go through that again. Thank you.

Hey, I'm a bit late commenting here, but I can relate. I have complex ptsd and frequent panic attacks and manage it with both medical cannabis and diapers. Both have been very very beneficial. For the past couple of months I've been wearing pretty much every day and it has let me feel considerably more relaxed and even somewhat euphoric at times. As long as it continues to work I'll continue wearing.

Also, I second what everybody else has said about your friends/dating/social life and your caregiver. Anyway, the best of luck to you.

Veren said:

Thank you all for your support!!! Now I feel like I can wear diapers at ease. My mom is pretty chilled with me wearing Depends if I keep it to my self. As being a 27 year old male with a learning disability with mental health issues. She said she doesn't mind me wearing them if I keep them to my self. I often get urine leakage when I'm out in public so it's really embarrassing to hold it in. Im still living with my parents so it's hard to deal with this sort of thing.

My mom has found a new medical provider for the family through the board of developmental disabilities so they help people like me and my brothers get out the house and do activities and such and socialize more. The guys specialize with anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks, IBS, bipolar, moodswings, etc because that's what I have. I need someone's advice on this because I don't know if I should bring it up or not. Should I tell the new caregiver aka provider that does the outtings that my doctor and psychiatrist says I should wear the diapers because they help me feel in that save zone when I'm in public? Especially if my IBS/Anxiety acts up? I was in the car today with my staff and I felt like I had to wet my self a bit due to anxiety and I know these types of people specialize in situations like this. Thanks for understanding and being supportive. I don't want to take any chances or having the new people think I'm a freak either. I want to let them flat out know I have a medical condition and see if they can help me because I don't want to make a mess in their car if that makes sense. Thanks On top of that there won't be a bathroom near by too if that makes sense so I wanted someone's input on that. I don't want to go through that again. Thank you.

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Of course you need to tell your new caregiver. Especially considering you'll be using Depends, which means diaper changes are going to be needed when you're out and about.

Simply said I wear diapers because I want too.