I want to quit wearing, but I can't.

Hello.

Well, as you may be able to guess from the title, I want to quit wearing diapers.
Or in the best case, accept myself. Not that I think that is a possibility.

The thing is, that wearing is hurting my budget, and self-esteem overall. I feel disgusted with myself everytime I wear, or think of waring. But on the other hand, I think that I have a slight medical need for them. I am showing some signs of an OAB, but that goes away when I'm wering. I don't know what to do anymore.

Please give me some guidance/advice.

I hope you are having a good day.
Best regards.
-Edward.

This really isn't the place to come for advice in stopping. I doubt there is such a place. Many of us have struggled with the feelings you're having and gone round and round trying to stop and failing. Either you accept that the desire is beyond your conscious control or you decide that a bunch of people, despite believing it was very important to make it go away, just lacked with will or tools to make it happen.

I went years without using diapers. The desire didn't diminish at all. Maybe you can decide to live with that unsatisfied desire. I don't see the point. The benefits of self-acceptance are so much higher than the endless conflict I had going on inside me. Accepting that it was a part of me and that was okay made it a much less frantic desire and allowed me to start to put it in a more normal context.

You have to decide for yourself but looking back, I know I wish I had started my acceptance earlier. Fighting it feels like wasted time. It's not all smiles and sunshine but it can be a positive thing when managed well. I'd encourage you to find a way to accept it and yourself. For the short term practical, wear cheaper diapers, wear less often, try cloth, or something else. Just don't expect you're going to flip some switch and this will go away or if it suddenly did that it wouldn't just as suddenly return when you least expected it.

I'm afraid I have to second what Trevor said. The desire to wear diapers is a lot like sexual orientation; you don't get to choose it, and you can't force it to go away just be pretending it doesn't exist or getting rid of all triggers associated with it. I have a very limited budget too, and for that reason I'm making the switch to cloth. It's part need-based for me as well, because I have IBS, so I couldn't quit cold-turkey even if I wanted to or could from a psychological perspective. Ultimately you have to find within yourself the knowledge that there's nothing wrong with wearing diapers, there's nothing wrong with wanting to wear or enjoying wearing diapers, and there's nothing wrong with you because this is the way you were born.

It might be easier to wear less frequently, thus saving you some money. Wait for a time when you can enjoy them for the entire day. Maybe choose one day a week. You might even enjoy diaper wearing more because you would have something to look forward to, maybe on a weekend.

As Trevor said, fighting your desires won't get you nowhere despite the effort you give. There's no switch to shut off. The whole thing is like going through a never ending hiking trail with all the ups and downs, twists and turns, and the whole 9. To make any progress, you have to accept it as part of you. It will always be a part of you.

As for me, diapers in general have stemmed for me as soon as I was taken out of them. It's always been in me. I've went through the same emotions. Feeling disgusted, feeling weird, and guilty, those feeling don't exactly go away either. It's a matter of working to dismiss those thoughts before they become toxic.

There's nothing wrong with you, you're just uncommon. Everyone these days seems like they're fighting for acceptance in anything they do, or who they are. It's just a human common goal. Diapers are a physical object, just like a underwear, just like a shirt, just like a computer, just like a gaming console, they are all something that we have interest in, and they all cost money. Our interests may be taboo, but diapers are only one of the many uncommon things that people like. Just look around in the world of fetishes, and you might feel a bit more normal.

You are your own worst enemy when it comes to your interests. You keep everything locked up in a cage, and you will eventually lock yourself up. Only you can crack the lock and free yourself from your negative mind. Only until this happens, if you ever free your self from this burden, only then can you be at peace with it.

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I find that if I don't have any to wear, then I don't wear. But I don't have any problems stopping, since I'm super busy with life. In fact its been weeks since my last diaper. each day, I say, tonight I'm putting one on, but don't since I get busy with other things.
So, if you can make yourself in a position to be too busy to wear, or stop buying diapers, that may help.

I have tried to give up wearing diapers. If I am home, I must be near a toilet, if I must go out I get nervous. I have tried pads, and bladder leak underwear, these work for awhile but anything longer than an hour, I will likely leak. Every store I go into I know where the restrooms are located. Several times while wearing either a pad or bladder leak underwear, I have had embarrassing leaks. I have to put a towel on my car seat. I have given up trying to stop wearing a diaper, and have incorporated them into my daily routine. I must be conscious of what I wear, and how long I plan to be away from home. When I must go out I change into a dry diaper, and ensure that my bladder is empty. During the day, I pee small amounts frequently, and feel empty after I pee but bladder fills quickly and I pee.
I don't know what else I can do at this point.

Or in the best case, accept myself. Not that I think that is a possibility.
But on the other hand, I think that I have a slight medical need for them. I am showing some signs of an OAB, but that goes away when I'm wearing. I don't know what to do anymore.

This is what hypnotists call a double bind. and you have created two things that appear inescapable from each other.

Stay home one day and stop wearing. plain and simple for that one day.
At the end of 24 hours, you will know if you really need them or not.

Let us know how it goes.

OAB”s can and do get worse over time and tend to start with small and only occasional leaks, try not wearing diapers as recommended while at home to see how you make out it may take multiple days to see how stable your bladder is. Wear dark pants twhen you venture out and about to help hid a leak but always have a change of clothes and a back pack of supplies just incase as an OAB is very unpredictable when you first start to experience issues.

when my OAB first started I had times I may only have a small leak once a week but have post pee dribles just enough for me to wear realfit for men all the time. hopefully you can get out of diapers but if you have a medical issue starting you may find your self back into them at some point in time.

Theres no Shame in needing to wear diapers for a medical issue as an Adult its better to be diapered then to have a major flood while out and about and end up standing in a puddle while in a public location

Hi Edward,

I think more or less every DL somewhen thought about quitting this fetish. The point is - unfortunately this isn't that easy - because it is a fetisch... I don't wont to depress you but think without professional help it is nearly impossible and even with it's not guaranteed that you make it to get over it.

How ever - as others already wrote here - it's probably easier to reduce the cycles of wearing. There are a couple of thinks that may help - and that worked at last for me - because also I had times where I had the feeling that my desire takes to much part of me...:

- Try to spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
- Hobby's - try do spend more your free time with others.
- try to schedule your special DL day's. If you're not in the mood at that day skip it and wait for the next one.

And one more thing: If these signs of OAB went away while wearing protection this is not OAB ;-)... So don't worry about that - as long you have no "real" medical problems. If you are unsure - check with a doc. I you need go more the 8 time over the day and more then one time over the night I would check definitely with a doc.

mickdl said:

Hi Edward,

I think more or less every DL somewhen thought about quitting this fetish. The point is - unfortunately this isn't that easy - because it is a fetisch... I don't wont to depress you but think without professional help it is nearly impossible and even with it's not guaranteed that you make it to get over it.

How ever - as others already wrote here - it's probably easier to reduce the cycles of wearing. There are a couple of thinks that may help - and that worked at last for me - because also I had times where I had the feeling that my desire takes to much part of me...:

- Try to spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend.
- Hobby's - try do spend more your free time with others.
- try to schedule your special DL day's. If you're not in the mood at that day skip it and wait for the next one.

And one more thing: If these signs of OAB went away while wearing protection this is not OAB ;-)... So don't worry about that - as long you have no "real" medical problems. If you are unsure - check with a doc. I you need go more the 8 time over the day and more then one time over the night I would check definitely with a doc.

Click to expand...

It's a fetish for some, but not for many. I myself have never had a diaper fetish. Like Edward's name implies he is a dl, so this isn't a fetish for him either. I was strictly a dl for a long time too (now dl and ab). I did try quitting many times as a teen, but only later found you don't choose what to love or not. It chooses you.

Well - so if it's not a fetish it's easy to quit ... But maybe it's a question of definition - normally I would define a DL as someone who get sexual aroused by viewing diapers, wearing diaper or peeing into diapers. I would say for most DL's it's some sort of a sexual thing - and that the reason why it's so hard to quit. But again - if it's such a think it's a fetish... That b.t.w. also the difference to AB's...

I don't believe it is a fetish for you.This is a paraphilia. Its something an intrinsic part of yourself you have to accept then manage. Love yourself, you are your best friend.

... jep... that's the medical term for sexual fetishism... You can read more about that here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilia

mickdl said:

Well - so if it's not a fetish it's easy to quit ... But maybe it's a question of definition - normally I would define a DL as someone who get sexual aroused by viewing diapers, wearing diaper or peeing into diapers. I would say for most DL's it's some sort of a sexual thing - and that the reason why it's so hard to quit. But again - if it's such a think it's a fetish... That b.t.w. also the difference to AB's...

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Actually that would be the exact opposite. Fetishes are chosen as a way to help one's own sex life. Often, quitting a fetish will mean less or more difficult sex, but you can at least choose that. When you're a diaper lover, that means you literally love diapers. And love is never defined as a fetish, nor is it based on sex alone. Though again, it often does include it.

As we have also discussed around here many times before, around 66 to 75-ish% will say wearing diapers is not based on, or solely done for the sexual turn on. We are more driven, even compelled, to loving diapers so for most here it is not a fetish. That isn't to be diminutive to those with a diaper fetish though. It certainly is common enough at least. Clearly enough so that too many get easily confused on those actually clear differences.

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Luckyfish said:

I don't believe it is a fetish for you.This is a paraphilia. Its something an intrinsic part of yourself you have to accept then manage. Love yourself, you are your best friend.

Click to expand...

Actually.... The term paraphilia is not correct, even though that is still the official name we have for this. When you look up the medically established definition for a paraphilias in general you will see it is always sexually driven. Except we clearly know it is not "always" sexually driven for us. So the diagnosis simply doesn't fit the conditions.

I have to admit the medical community is getting better at understanding us though. Even just 2-3 decades ago, being abdl was classified as a mental disorder and masocism. Who knows, maybe in another 2-3 decades we will get a proper medical term.

You are absolutely right that being abdl is an integral part of who we are. It isn't something we can choose to not be any more than we can choose who or what to love.

I am at the point where I have absolutely no shame in what I do or wear. Now I do keep everything as private as possible, only to protect myself and avoid violating personal. But most importantly, I have no shame.
Now I've noticed, and really observed this year, that people, myself included, have a tendency to get "spooked" when some sort of situation happens. And I'm sure I'm not the only DL who's gotten "spooked" by an awkward situation in the past. And for a DL who gets "spooked" by a situation like, say, an unintended person finding that hidden diaper stash, the most common reaction is to try and quit entirely.
But here's the thing. Don't do that. It's not healthy. What you need to do is continue your lifestyle. You have every right to do that. Furthermore, even when questioned, you don't have to explain or expose yourself. If asked on the matter, I would simply say, "That's my private business."
So really, here's the bottom line: Have no shame, and protect yourself.

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Let me add that when I'm out in public, I do wear with decency. I wear under normal clothes and keep it concealed.

It is very hard to quit wearing after a certain time, that your body gets used to wearing a diaper