Is it worth retaining urinary continence when having to deal with onset of bowel incontinence?

dreamer1988

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
  3. Little
  4. Incontinent
  5. Carer
I've been taking a psych med that has led to bowel incontinence. I wear heavy duty diapers with tabs for it. I still have bladder control, and due to my previous experience being ABDL, I can empty it into my diapers on command.

But, diapers are expensive and being a woman with curves, I can't get a good fit if I pull them back up after pulling them down to pee in the toilet. I've had blowouts before from not having a good fit, and would rather prevent that as much as possible.

I got back from an appointment with my psychiatrist, and they psych med seems to be doing great for my depression, and since I've been on so many ineffective meds in the past, we agreed that the trade off was worth it, so it's going to be diapers for me for quite some time.

So, I guess the question is, should I avoid peeing in my diapers? If I'm going to be bowel incontinent anyway and trying to avoid having to tape on a new diaper after every time I urinate, might I as well pee in them but risk developing lazy bladder habits/urinary incontinence?
 
I've seen a few here say in the past what you're considering. Since they are already diapered for bowell problems then why not use the diaper for urinary. As you've mentioned, you can and do already have controlled peeing in your diaper, so why not just continue to do that more often? And choosing to always use a diaper will not automatically lead to urinary incontunence.

This said, if you choose to always pee at the first urge to do so, or if you choose to try and keep your sphincter always relaxed, then this will likely lead to actual urinary incontinence. You certainly don't seem to mind being bowell incontinent though, and that is worse than urinary. My personal advice is to go ahead and pee in the diaper when you feel like, and don't worry too much about becoming incontinent.

Though IF later on you do feel increased urgency, then do try to avoid that as it can lead to urge incontinence (which you don't want, trust me). At a tipping pint like this you'd have to focus on re-potty training (for going back to normal continence), or trying to always keep your sphincter relaxed (which will likely lead to full incontinence, which I personally find isn't bad at all).
 
Slomo said:
I've seen a few here say in the past what you're considering. Since they are already diapered for bowell problems then why not use the diaper for urinary. As you've mentioned, you can and do already have controlled peeing in your diaper, so why not just continue to do that more often? And choosing to always use a diaper will not automatically lead to urinary incontunence.

This said, if you choose to always pee at the first urge to do so, or if you choose to try and keep your sphincter always relaxed, then this will likely lead to actual urinary incontinence. You certainly don't seem to mind being bowell incontinent though, and that is worse than urinary. My personal advice is to go ahead and pee in the diaper when you feel like, and don't worry too much about becoming incontinent.

Though IF later on you do feel increased urgency, then do try to avoid that as it can lead to urge incontinence (which you don't want, trust me). At a tipping pint like this you'd have to focus on re-potty training (for going back to normal continence), or trying to always keep your sphincter relaxed (which will likely lead to full incontinence, which I personally find isn't bad at all).

Thank you so much for responding, its good to hear that others have had similar quandaries

I wanted to point out something you said as it was something I hadn't thought of too much before. You mentioned that "You certainly don't seem to mind being bowel incontinent though" and for the most part, you're right. When diapers were just for playtime, I used to have a hard time messing without assistance, so the experience of messing without control is completely novel for the moment. However, I'm still kind of waiting for the gravity of the whole situation to sink in and to see how I find it when it is no longer "cool" and much more ordinary.
 
I would reconsider the meds. Bowel incontinence is in itself depressing. I speak from self experience. Of course this is only one persons opinion, and I managed my depression naturally. My partner and I go on 1-3 hikes per week to some of our states best places. Also I make sure to take vitamin d3 when I don't get much sun. And lastly I grow my own little garden and walk my dogs. I ended up not using a lot of meds because the side effects. I certainly would not be impressed with one that made my bowel incontinence worse!

If you continue down this path, then as far as urinary incontinence, you won't lose control by using a diaper as long as you use it similar to a toilet. I.E. Hold it for 2-5 hours then pee all at once. There is no sense in trying to lose control unless it is some body integrity issue. If I were in your situation, I think I would possibly try tena flex. They protect for bowel, but also easily remove for peeing. All the protection of a diaper, with the convenience of a pull up.
 
I'm in your exact situation. I'm periodically bowel IC thanks to IBS, but have to wear 24/7 because I never know when the next episode will occur. I'm also in taped diapers and subsequently just pee in them whenever I have to, rather than waste the diaper by trying to get it off and back on again.
 
dreamer1988 said:
I've been taking a psych med that has led to bowel incontinence. I wear heavy duty diapers with tabs for it. I still have bladder control, and due to my previous experience being ABDL, I can empty it into my diapers on command.

But, diapers are expensive and being a woman with curves, I can't get a good fit if I pull them back up after pulling them down to pee in the toilet. I've had blowouts before from not having a good fit, and would rather prevent that as much as possible.

I got back from an appointment with my psychiatrist, and they psych med seems to be doing great for my depression, and since I've been on so many ineffective meds in the past, we agreed that the trade off was worth it, so it's going to be diapers for me for quite some time.

So, I guess the question is, should I avoid peeing in my diapers? If I'm going to be bowel incontinent anyway and trying to avoid having to tape on a new diaper after every time I urinate, might I as well pee in them but risk developing lazy bladder habits/urinary incontinence?

First of al reg youe fitting problems do as i do and put a "slightly " tighter pair of panties over the diaper that will help keeping the diaper in place and over that youe ord ones . Trust me it works

second reg if you should just let go as youre already in diapers the cost of diapers will increase as youre adding urine into the mix so theirs youre first reason to NOT just let go = financial
, Second you ad risk for possible nasty diaper raches and infections if you ad both urine as well as fecal in the diaper dear. not to mention with pee in it you also risk having leaks and most probably you need to ad some thicker HLG diapers and also PUK /plastic pants to that & also down the line IC bed wear = more costs and more bother

And reg this should you reconsider youre meds and is the price for this to high as you get IC as a side effect ? Well im diagnosed Severe ADHD & MANY side diagnosis that comes with this (and MANY UN diagnosed diagnoses according to my latest evaluation (most likely multiple side diagnosis yet to be discovered ) ,And MILD ASD and i haven't takend any meds BUT in my time not that mush was known about al this SO if as you say this new med is actually working and helps you get on with youre life id say DONT stop & if this is the price you have to pay for this to get IC then i STILL say KEEP the med hon

Oh and as you also sed reg the
However, I'm still kind of waiting for the gravity of the whole situation to sink in and to see how I find it when it is no longer "cool" and much more ordinary.
I can tell you it will get OLD VERY fast dear but also as time gets on you`l learn to deal with it (im double Ic check my sig )
 
Dreamer,

First, I'm sorry you are going though a hard time in your life. It sounds like you have a supporting and caring doctor.

I get from reading closely to what you are saying, there is a level of emotional support for you with a thicker diaper. If that helps then why not? Ultimately, do what makes you emotionally happy and reduces daily stress.
 
If you're an adult in nappies for bowel problems, I don't know why you wouldn't urinate in them... especially if you can't get a good fit again with pulling them back up. You can have a few "toilet visits", bladder-wise, in a single decent quality nappy (obviously with the other type of accident, you need to change as soon as possible anyway whether you're wet as well or not, so not sure it will be a major issue in terms of hygiene/infections).

Obviously you've always got the choice of using the toilet if you're bladder continent... so you can mix and match, just do what suits on each particular occasion, if it's easier to use the toilet then do so, if it's easier to use your nappy then do so! You've got two options for your ladies' room, the one in your clothes and the one outside, which has to be a bonus!
 
I only have bowel incontinence, but I occasionally pee in my nappies. I think if you maintain conscious control it's not really a problem, but I find I have to be aware of leaks, and it's often just more hassle than it's worth. I've found that when I've peed in my nappies on a regular basis for a while my bladder does seem to shrink and I'm more likely to wet semi-consciously - which as I don't generally have to wear 24/7 is not a good thing.

Regarding fit when pulling them back up - I don't normally have problem using the second chance tapes or on cloth-backed disposables adjusting with the velcro tapes. I've not got on too well with Tena Flex and similar - I find them uncomfortable and the pad tends to push to one side between my legs, which isn't so great for containing bowel movements. They are great for going to the loo or if there are no disabled loos though. You could try washable nappies as ones like Ecoables are easy to adjust and put on (and work out as good value for money).
 
Yes it's always worth keeping continent if you can, also the addition of urine to fecal matter speeds up the breakdown of compounds like ammonia and can result in a nasty chemical burn. If you have a continence advisor consider talking to them about the Peristeen system. It's basically an irrigation system that you use at home, can take up to about 30 mins to work, but does cut down on the number of fecal accidents.
 
I only have bowel incontinence, but have been bowel incontinent for 16 years. I became urinary after 5 years of giving up holding back. I started to show muscle atrophy symptoms after two years or so. I think you would be okay if you held back. The comments above are correct about Rash, cost, and it gets to be a pain to change all the time. On a good day I use 7 diapers, on a bad day could be over double that.
 
If you can make it and you are near a bathroom and its not inconvenient why not use the bathroom and save the diaper? If you are in a situation it's not easy to get to a bathroom why not use the diaper? That said do you know for certain you will never regain bowel control (either adapting to the medication or removal of it in the future)? Anyway there is nothing wrong with going if its not convenient, but it's also not something to just go and toss unless you know you won't ever get back bowel control.
 
Hi Dreamer
As others here I also recommend you to stay as continent as possible. It’s not only that losing control is no fun at all, but it can lead to medical problems (kidneys, skin), which for me is the aspect I worry most about my incontinence. I suffer from severe urinary IC but still try to use the bathroom a few times a day, just to keep the habit and to minimize the number of diapers. There are diapers (e.g. Attends Adjustables) which are designed to be pulled down and which are reliable for heavy incontinence. Also, as Missy1 mentioned it helps to wear a panty over the diaper.

Concerning your bowel incontinence, have you thought about stoma irrigation? Normally, if you empty your bladder in the morning you‘re mostly safe for the rest of the day.
 
mkinko said:
Hi Dreamer
As others here I also recommend you to stay as continent as possible. It’s not only that losing control is no fun at all, but it can lead to medical problems (kidneys, skin), which for me is the aspect I worry most about my incontinence. I suffer from severe urinary IC but still try to use the bathroom a few times a day, just to keep the habit and to minimize the number of diapers. There are diapers (e.g. Attends Adjustables) which are designed to be pulled down and which are reliable for heavy incontinence. Also, as Missy1 mentioned it helps to wear a panty over the diaper.

Concerning your bowel incontinence, have you thought about stoma irrigation? Normally, if you empty your bladder in the morning you‘re mostly safe for the rest of the day.

Yes i average now 20 + (bacikly every 2-3 hoers )Trips to the bathroom (small amounts every time) / DAY /still & leaking in between. So il rather go al this times then having the bother and cost and al else of having to change or walking around in soky diapers. Problem with pull ups is that DONT work for Fecal im afraid. And from what i gathered not for heavy wetting ether (for minor wetting yes ) For this you need taped HA Diapers and over that preferably added PVC /PUL pants .

Never heard of it either BUT if you referring to empty youre bowel i do that EVERY morning and i still usely have to go URGENTLY utliest 2-4 times /day usely ,same with my bladder and (see previous statement in this reply )
 
Missy1 said:
Yes i average now 20 + (bacikly every 2-3 hoers )Trips to the bathroom (small amounts every time) / DAY /still & leaking in between. So il rather go al this times then having the bother and cost and al else of having to change or walking around in soky diapers. Problem with pull ups is that DONT work for Fecal im afraid. And from what i gathered not for heavy wetting ether (for minor wetting yes ) For this you need taped HA Diapers and over that preferably added PVC /PUL pants .

Never heard of it either BUT if you referring to empty youre bowel i do that EVERY morning and i still usely have to go URGENTLY utliest 2-4 times /day usely ,same with my bladder and (see previous statement in this reply )

Hi Missy
The attends adjustables are not comparable to pull-up because they are designed for heavy urinary and fecal incontinence. I was wearing them during the last five years, and they worked well for me (I switched to the regular attends slip because it‘s cheaper and works fine as well).

I don‘t irrigate (my bowel incontinence is not that bad; I manage to empty my bladder on most mornings and have only accidents once in a while), but I know of people who reported that their life quality has improved a lot thanks to stoma irrigation. The way I understand the method, by irrigating you make sure that your bowel is completely emptied which gives you more time until the next bowel incident.
 
I've been having some bvowel problems recently that are related to spinal damage. My continence nurse has provided me with a system called Peristeen which is colonic irrigation system, you use it in the morning and it normally clears you out for 24 hours.
 
Missy1 said:
Yes i average now 20 + (bacikly every 2-3 hoers )Trips to the bathroom (small amounts every time) / DAY /still & leaking in between. So il rather go al this times then having the bother and cost and al else of having to change or walking around in soky diapers. Problem with pull ups is that DONT work for Fecal im afraid. And from what i gathered not for heavy wetting ether (for minor wetting yes ) For this you need taped HA Diapers and over that preferably added PVC /PUL pants .

Never heard of it either BUT if you referring to empty youre bowel i do that EVERY morning and i still usely have to go URGENTLY utliest 2-4 times /day usely ,same with my bladder and (see previous statement in this reply )

Stoma irrigation for bowell cleansing is basically where they add a port to your colon. You then use that port to add water, which will force a bowell movement and flush your colon clean.
 
the Peristeen system is an anal/colonic irrigation system so no ports needed.
 
PCBaby said:
the Peristeen system is an anal/colonic irrigation system so no ports needed.

Peristeen is also NOT a stoma. The peristeen system is a traditional irrigation flushing. It will only go up and in you so far, and tends to trigger cramping. The point of having the stoma port is to bypass the cramping and to introduce the flushing much further up the colon. Plus it's supposed to take less time and be much easier to induce.

However, this comes at the trade off of quite literally having another hole in your body (as with all stomas). When I had one for my emergency urethal diversion it hurt constantly. Plus I had to worry about keeping it clean too. I personally would never recommend a stoma of any kind unless it is truly necessary and there are no other options available.
 
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