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Maia

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  1. Incontinent
Hi all,

I’m a Dutch girl and I’ve been urinary incontinent all my life.
Though the hassle and the extra work can be quite annoying (like getting up and ready for work takes me 3 times as long as my girlfriend) I learned to live with it.

I guess that it helps that I’ve always had some slight abdl feelings about the whole thing, though it took me a long time to figure that out. I have been on this forum before, several years ago (but couldn’t figure out what my login was - I did contact an admin about it though) but back then I found it all too overwhelming and confusing, so I left after a while.

I’m in a stable relationship (without the abdl element though - I wouldn’t know what or how) and this has definitely helped me to sort out my feelings. It would be great to be able to talk about these things with others again!

I work as a software developer and I am a freelance animator & illustrator - for fun, I play guitar & piano, and I love creating music using Apple Logic, etc.

More later, I suppose :)
Looking forward talking with you!
 
Hi Iraina! Welcome to the site! That was a great intro. Did you draw your own avatar?
 
Iraina said:
Hi all,

I’m a Dutch girl and I’ve been urinary incontinent all my life.
Though the hassle and the extra work can be quite annoying (like getting up and ready for work takes me 3 times as long as my girlfriend) I learned to live with it.

I guess that it helps that I’ve always had some slight abdl feelings about the whole thing, though it took me a long time to figure that out. I have been on this forum before, several years ago (but couldn’t figure out what my login was - I did contact an admin about it though) but back then I found it all too overwhelming and confusing, so I left after a while.

I’m in a stable relationship (without the abdl element though - I wouldn’t know what or how) and this has definitely helped me to sort out my feelings. It would be great to be able to talk about these things with others again!

I work as a software developer and I am a freelance animator & illustrator - for fun, I play guitar & piano, and I love creating music using Apple Logic, etc.

More later, I suppose :)
Looking forward talking with you!

Welcome to the site and yes, a great introduction. I too play piano. My friends like it when I play pop songs, but I practice classical pieces for the most part.
 
Scaramouche said:
Hi Iraina! Welcome to the site! That was a great intro. Did you draw your own avatar?

Thank you! The avatar is based on an image that I found but I changed it quite a bit.

- - - Updated - - -

dogboy said:
Welcome to the site and yes, a great introduction. I too play piano. My friends like it when I play pop songs, but I practice classical pieces for the most part.

Hi Dogboy, thanks!
What pieces do you play? I especially love Debussy and Gershwin - I’m currently in love with Gershwin’s “So am I”

https://youtu.be/c1I1uUpuoWQ
 
high marks for your intro, iraina!
 
Iraina said:
Thank you! The avatar is based on an image that I found but I changed it quite a bit.

- - - Updated - - -



Hi Dogboy, thanks!
What pieces do you play? I especially love Debussy and Gershwin - I’m currently in love with Gershwin’s “So am I”

https://youtu.be/c1I1uUpuoWQ

I love Gershwin but haven't gotten into him...yet. I'm working on three Debussy pieces, the first "Arabesque", "Clair de Lune" and "Reverie". I've learned and memorized (recently) the first Prelude and Fugue in C Major by J. S. Bach. I've also memorized the first two Chopin Nocturnes, the B flat Major and the E flat Major and I've learned the E flat Major and C sharp minor Chopin Nocturnes and I have 3/4ths of the D flat Major Nocturne memorized at this point. I've recently learned and memorized the D flat Major Franz Liszt "Consolation in D flat Major" and I'm working on his "Liebestraume".
 
Welcome. I am relatively new here and have found it comforting to be able to discuss things with others.

I suspect your partner will be able to be brought in a bit as you show you tender, soft side. Somehow I think it will all work out without any single "big reveal." Till then, come here, chat, and discover how you really feel. Sometimes I don't know how I really feel till I let the feelings out and play with them a while. I think of it like trying on clothes. Sometimes I have to wear something a few times before I decide how I like the fit.
 
Hello Iraina
Great introduction.
Welcome to the group 😺
 
Hi Dogboy,

Those Debussy pieces are great. I just discovered last year that Disney had originally intended to include a section based on the orchestrated version of “Clair de Lune” in Fantasia (1940?) but it didn’t make it to the final cut because the movie was considered too long. The section survived though: https://youtu.be/k8JwihcysWo

The thing with music is that it makes me feel as if I’m lost in a candy shop. There’s so much, appealing for so many different reasons: “oh listen to that! Wow! And this! And ... and ...” :D

I always felt that Bach had a very cerebral appeal, all those themes weaving into one another, forward, backward, inverted, speeded up and slowed down - and yet it all fits together (eg that six-voiced ricercar). But last year we visited Eisenach in Germany where he was born, and I found that he also has a very expressive and emotional side. What a genius.


dogboy said:
(...) I've also memorized the first two Chopin Nocturnes, the B flat Major and the E flat Major and I've learned the E flat Major and C sharp minor Chopin Nocturnes and I have 3/4ths of the D flat Major Nocturne memorized at this point. I've recently learned and memorized the D flat Major Franz Liszt "Consolation in D flat Major" and I'm working on his "Liebestraume".

Wow, isn’t Liszt very difficult? I never got into his music but it has a ring of “very challenging”. But maybe that’s just one particular piece.
 
Hi Iraina,
and welcome to the group. i'm interested in your commens about Bach. I was brought up with the classics and found Bach to be wonderful, so much so that in my teens he inspired me enought to learn to play the piano and organ just so i could go through the well tempered clavier and to also play his fuges, especially tocatta and fuge in D minor which I want playing at my funeral, ideally from a recording of the York Minster organ. I also love the Bach/Gounoud Ave Maria, as opposed to the Schubert version.
i also have a soft spot for Debussy, Vivaldi, Wagner (as in the complete ring cycle) and
Beethoven, especialy his 5th 6th and 9th.
I also adore Elgar's work. most Choral music and coming from Yorkshire in the UK good brass bands.
 
Iraina said:
Hi Dogboy,

Those Debussy pieces are great. I just discovered last year that Disney had originally intended to include a section based on the orchestrated version of “Clair de Lune” in Fantasia (1940?) but it didn’t make it to the final cut because the movie was considered too long. The section survived though: https://youtu.be/k8JwihcysWo

The thing with music is that it makes me feel as if I’m lost in a candy shop. There’s so much, appealing for so many different reasons: “oh listen to that! Wow! And this! And ... and ...” :D

I always felt that Bach had a very cerebral appeal, all those themes weaving into one another, forward, backward, inverted, speeded up and slowed down - and yet it all fits together (eg that six-voiced ricercar). But last year we visited Eisenach in Germany where he was born, and I found that he also has a very expressive and emotional side. What a genius.




Wow, isn’t Liszt very difficult? I never got into his music but it has a ring of “very challenging”. But maybe that’s just one particular piece.

Thank you so much for sharing that. It was beautiful and I seem to remember it from when I was a child. I think they did show it on the original Walt Disney Show which aired at 7:00 pm on Sunday nights. You probably know that the silhouette of the conductor is Leopold Stokowski. I performed under his baton three times in the late 1960s as a Westminster Choir College student. I sang in "Carmina Burana", Martin Luther King Jr.'s national memorial service and "The Ninth Symphony" by Beethoven. He was amazing in real life and quite brilliant. He had the entire score of the Beethoven memorized from measure to measure.

I'm a church organist with a degree in organ performance and so I love J. S. Bach. He is convoluted but there is beauty in a number of the pieces he composed and yes, Liszt is very difficult as is most of Chopin. Bach is difficult as well but in different ways. His keyboard music tends to tie up the fingers especially as one tries to play Legato.
 
It's great to hear that there are some of us that are into the 'classical' classics. Many new people talk about being into metal, indi or other genres that I am not but here we are talking about those composers that I can listen to all day.

I especially like the Bach organ works. I have played a little organ/piano but no longer have access to either since I moved to an apartment. I have to be content to listen to the radio and my CDs.

edit...

to the OP...Sorry that I forgot to welcome you to ADISC. ---- Welcome to ADISC!
 
Hi Paddedagain,

yes, it’s always good to talk with others who understand what you’re going through.

I’m not sure if you mean the rest of your post in general?

In my case I told about my incontinence pretty early on. It’s always hard to predict how people react, but how you handle it yourself can make a huge difference in how other people take it.

I can’t say much about ab/dl “coming out”, as that’s only a minor thing for me, compared to the incontinence itself.
I’ve doubted a long time if how I feel is indeed ab or dl. In the end I figured that it doesn’t matter much how I label it, though it would have been easier if there was a word that describes better how I feel about having to wear plastic pants and diapers.


I have read some really heart-wrenching stories about how tough the squeeze is that truly abdl people often end up in - for both sides.

Sexuality always stirs up emotions, and for most people out there diapers are still what separates a regular person from a care-dependent, pitiable patient.

I can imagine all too well how hard it must be for someone whose partner turns out to have a fetish that puts all expectations they had about the relationship upside down.
And yet, they can’t help being as they are either.

Maybe some people can grow to accept things, as you say by bringing it gently and with understanding of how it is for the other.

Such situations also happen with people who become incontinent suddenly. Some people end marriages because they don’t want to a husband or wife in diapers, even if it is for medical reasons.

I wish people would start seeing diapers in the same way as glasses: just an aid to help with a handicap. But yeah, wishing alone doesn’t seem to change that (I tried hard) :)
 
BabyDenise said:
It's great to hear that there are some of us that are into the 'classical' classics. Many new people talk about being into metal, indi or other genres that I am not but here we are talking about those composers that I can listen to all day.

Actually, I also like a lot of other things beside classics - but metal isn’t one of those. That mandatory obsession with skulls etc. that metal has gets in the way, which is a bit of a pity because some of those bands are technically very good. But I like classic hard rock - I’m in a sort of rock band with some of my colleagues and we played something by Deep Purple last spring which was a lot of fun.
Funk is also great ... well, I could go on for some time. I don’t fancy what’s on the radio though - all that “millennial whooping” ;) - it’s so hugely un-exciting.

My favourite music of the past few years is by Olivier Messiaen. It’s not something that I play - I merely listen to it. Most of it is symphonic anyhow.

BabyDenise said:
I especially like the Bach organ works. I have played a little organ/piano but no longer have access to either since I moved to an apartment. I have to be content to listen to the radio and my CDs.

edit...

to the OP...Sorry that I forgot to welcome you to ADISC. ---- Welcome to ADISC!

Thank you!

It seems I’m running behind answering ... having a bit of a busy week. Will catch up.
 
dogboy said:
(...)You probably know that the silhouette of the conductor is Leopold Stokowski.
Indeed!

dogboy said:
I performed under his baton three times in the late 1960s as a Westminster Choir College student. I sang in "Carmina Burana", Martin Luther King Jr.'s national memorial service and "The Ninth Symphony" by Beethoven. He was amazing in real life and quite brilliant. He had the entire score of the Beethoven memorized from measure to measure.
Wow, that’s some experience!

dogboy said:
I'm a church organist with a degree in organ performance and so I love J. S. Bach. He is convoluted but there is beauty in a number of the pieces he composed (...)
Ah, then you probably also know Messiaen!

[
dogboy said:
(...) and yes, Liszt is very difficult as is most of Chopin. Bach is difficult as well but in different ways. His keyboard music tends to tie up the fingers especially as one tries to play Legato.

Yes, Bach has a way of being harder to play than it looks. Those Inventions come to mind!

I found Bela Bartok’s Microcosmos even more unsuspectingly difficult, with pieces that look like second-year stuff but that are set in weird times like 7/5, changing to 11/13 after two bars and then to 8/3, and so on. Like a steeplechase where the hurdles all have different heights and are different distances apart. And, they change them at random during the race. Or your legs keep getting longer and shorter [emoji27]
 
Hello PCBaby,

That Toccata & Fuga is very awe-inspiring. It would be great to hear it live, played on an organ that has those earthquake-subsonic bass pipes!

Re. what you say about Yorkshire and brass bands: are there many good brass bands from there?
That would be a funny coincidence because - correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I heard that there has been a lot of coal mining in Yorkshire? The only part of the Netherlands where there were coal mines (until the 1960’s) is the south most part of Limburg, and that region also has a rich tradition of harmony & brass bands. I thought it was amazing that some of those bands from relatively small villages managed to perform at such a high level. I mean, compare that to top symphony orchestras that probably recruit from all over the country or beyond.

PS I love the North York moors! I crossed that once in the Coast to Coast Walk.
 
Well the Brighouse and Rastrick Brass band have been world champions several times. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9se--kurvAk ) they were formed in 1881 and still going strong. Yes Yorkshire did have coal mining as well as a thriving wool industry. Coal mines seem to be brass band or choral (or even both). the welshmining villigaes nearly all have their own male voice choirs. I love thea moors too. If you ever get back to yorkshire try the Penine way, ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boU2W8LA3o4 ) allow at least 20 to 25 days if it's your first attempt assuming the weather is ok it's a great hike (but you can have all 4 seasons in one day). I loved the original Fantasia, saw the remake and wasn't impressed at all.
 
Iraina said:
Ah, then you probably also know Messiaen!

Yes, I had to learn and play from memory some Messiaen. I actually like his music even though it is different. I used to teach some Bartok to my piano students. I enjoyed his works as well....again somewhat different.
 
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