Hi! I have made an internet boyfriend. He’s very nice, and he is moving to my town. Therefore, he wants to meet me. He knows I have autism, though I guess he doesn’t know how severe, because he doesn’t know I’m in the special ed program. The bigger problem is my diapers. I don’t want him to look at me differently because of them. If he likes me for me, that’s what I want to shine through on our first date, not my diaper line or the smell. If he is into diapers and ABDL, then thas great because I am too. However, it’s not something I just turn on when I’m in Little mode. I am fully incontinent. How do I navigate this?
How to tell the person I’m dating I’m in continent
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CuddleWoozle
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I'd wait, too. Let him get to know you first and then, once you know that you're both very good friends, I would let him know.
That's like...I wouldn't walk up to someone I just met and say "Hi, I'm Woozle. I'm incontinent and need diapers or I'll pee on your couch." XD It's something that good friends just eventually find out. And in all my time being IC, not one person has looked at me and said "OMG. So gross. I don't like you anymore." I mostly get "What happened?" or "Oh, that sucks."
That's like...I wouldn't walk up to someone I just met and say "Hi, I'm Woozle. I'm incontinent and need diapers or I'll pee on your couch." XD It's something that good friends just eventually find out. And in all my time being IC, not one person has looked at me and said "OMG. So gross. I don't like you anymore." I mostly get "What happened?" or "Oh, that sucks."
Minih
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I didn't tell my girlfriend for a few months - my IBS can be quite intermittent, and fortunately when we started seeing each other my bowels behaved for a few months. That gave us some time to get to know each other, and for me to gradually introduce the fact that my guts are screwed. Fortunately, she's amazing about it, and it's not been an issue, but she has said that if I'd told her on the first few dates she probably wouldn't have stuck around. (I should add that neither of us was entirely sure about the other to start with!)
D
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If he truly loves you then this should not be an issue for him (be it your grade of Autism or that you are incontinent ) & he already knows you have Autism and accepted that So as most others sed before me its always better to to be honest in a relationship from the start. regardless the risk of losing someone right away (i personally rather do that then proceed and THEN further down the line loose either a new loved one or a close friend )
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Just get to know each other first. If it becomes certain that it´s something deeper you might wanna drop this piece of info.
If the feelings are real it shouldn't be an issue.
Cheers
If the feelings are real it shouldn't be an issue.
Cheers
caitianx
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LifeInPlastic said:
I concur.
I myself am autistic.
First get to know this person, then when you feel comfortable enough, then you can disclose this.
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Hi TransNate
I’d take it slow, don’t reveal your incontinence at first. Let them get to know you as yourself and help them build up some trust.
When you do disclose your issue, explain that it’s a medical condition and your diapers stop you from having embarrassing accidents. If this is linked to your autism, make sure that they know this.
Be as calm and relaxed as possible about the whole issue when you explain it. You can be honest and say it’s hard news to explain, but your diapers make a difficult situation much easier. Your boyfriend will respect you more if you can explain this to him calmly, as this will show that you’re able to handle this and he doesn’t need to worry about it.
If you end up having an accident on a date, try not to panic, just explain it’s a medical problem and you can’t help it that your body does this. Explain that your diapers make this a lot less embarrassing and easier to handle when they happen.
As a final point, don’t ask your boyfriend to change you unless you’re unable to do it yourself. That being said, if your boyfriend wants to help you change then don’t be shy, let him help you with it.
Hope this helps you,
Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
I’d take it slow, don’t reveal your incontinence at first. Let them get to know you as yourself and help them build up some trust.
When you do disclose your issue, explain that it’s a medical condition and your diapers stop you from having embarrassing accidents. If this is linked to your autism, make sure that they know this.
Be as calm and relaxed as possible about the whole issue when you explain it. You can be honest and say it’s hard news to explain, but your diapers make a difficult situation much easier. Your boyfriend will respect you more if you can explain this to him calmly, as this will show that you’re able to handle this and he doesn’t need to worry about it.
If you end up having an accident on a date, try not to panic, just explain it’s a medical problem and you can’t help it that your body does this. Explain that your diapers make this a lot less embarrassing and easier to handle when they happen.
As a final point, don’t ask your boyfriend to change you unless you’re unable to do it yourself. That being said, if your boyfriend wants to help you change then don’t be shy, let him help you with it.
Hope this helps you,
Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
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If it gets to a point where you're ready to meet, let him know. Until then theres more to life then what's under your pants.
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