Why is wearing diapers considered to be socially unacceptable?

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EdwardTheDL1998

EdwardTheDL1998

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  1. Diaper Lover
Hello, I am a nineteen-year-old boy. I, study Communication and IT at HTX in Denmark. I am pretty prosaic, I would say. But apparently, I am not. Because I wear diapers because I feel like that is something that I need to do, to feel safe, to not feel anxious. Because wearing diapers, apparently makes me socially unacceptable. Because bodily ideals, and social constructs, have deceived everyone. If I go out, I have to be careful, for what reason? Let's take the example, that I go out for grocery shopping. If my shirt slips up a bit, or my pants are lowered a bit, without me knowing- And suddenly, someone from the local high school is standing close to you, a group of girls, anyone. They see a white lining, and start giggling, even though they have no reason to? I am just a prosaic guy, right? Well, let's say around 12,4% of women worldwide experience incontinence, and 5% of all men worldwide. That's approximately 424 million individuals, and it is said, that only about half the amount, actually seeks help, so wonder how many more are actually incontinent, or just wearing diapers for other reasons, like an OAB, or just simply as a safety precaution. Would it then be fair to assume, that around every 1 in 17 people deal with incontinence, so I would not be that uncommon then, would I? The thing is, that people are raised with a single goal, grown up, and live like "normal" people do, but you can't define "normal."
-I am just curious to why. Why is it that people who aren't appealing to others ideal "norms," people like me, have to be seen upon as a social outcast?

I just thought I wanted to make this a topic since I find it relevant. I hope you are all having a great day.
Best regards.
-Edward.
 
Wearing a diaper is socially unacceptable because it is an affront to being an adult, someone who in control of themselves. Diapers are seen as a necessity for infants and children that must be cared for by an adult. it can be considered an abdication of adult norms. Society abhors this abdication of responsibility. However, wearing a diaper is a choice for some and a necessity for others. I wear diapers because of urge incontinence, and not wearing one is stressful for me because if I am not wearing a diaper, I must be near a bathroom. I have integrated diapers as my normal clothing. There are times that I have not worn a diaper with embarrassing results. Since I have made the decision that diapers are a must for me if I plan to be away from home for an extended period of time.
There are people who wear diapers because they make them feel more secure (myself included) there are those that wear them as a fetish, or regression to infantile/child experience. There are also those that give the wearer sexual release.
Thank you Edward for your post
 
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alwayz said:
Wearing a diaper is socially unacceptable because it is an affront to being an adult, someone who in control of themselves. Diapers are seen as a necessity for infants and children that must be cared for by an adult. it can be considered an abdication of adult norms. Society abhors this abdication of responsibility. However, wearing a diaper is a choice for some and a necessity for others. I wear diapers because of urge incontinence, and not wearing one is stressful for me because if I am not wearing a diaper, I must be near a bathroom. I have integrated diapers as my normal clothing. There are times that I have not worn a diaper with embarrassing results. Since I have made the decision that diapers are a must for me if I plan to be away from home for an extended period of time.
There are people who wear diapers because they make them feel more secure (myself included) there are those that wear them as a fetish, or regression to infantile/child experience. There are also those that give the wearer sexual release.
Thank you Edward for your post
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First of all, tank you for taking time out of your day to ready my thread, and reply to it. I can see what you mean with it being seen as something to be worn by infants, etc. But I, myself, deal with an overactive baldder, and whilst I can hold it, I find relief in wearing diapers. And I just personally think, that I should be able to walk around, without being concerned of what people are saying about me afterwards. As for your story, I hope you are happy with how you are, and how your body is. Nobody is perfect, but everyone should be accepted. :)
I hope you are having a good day.
-Edward.
 
Edward. you are falling into the trap that makes you think people are singling you out to determine if you are wearing a diaper, Sadly there are many that feel this way, and it is wholly unfounded. To be honest, people do not scan each other to see if they are wearing a diaper, people are concerned with their own concerns. When I first started wearing diapers, I thought that people were looking at me and knowing that I was wearing a diaper. I found myself looking at other people to see if they had a diaper on as well. I then realized that I was more interested in what I had gone to the store to accomplish. Understand that if you make it obvious that there is something different about you, you then attract more attention. To lessen your anxiety, go to a large store, I go to Walmart, and just shop, relax, and do what you came to the store to do. Today I do everything while wearing a diaper under my clothes. I wear pants that are not overly tight, and are usually dark like jeans and a top that covers the top of my jeans. AS your experience grows, your anxiety will decrease.
 
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Also for adults it has that appearance of being "defective" or "damaged". Just the same as a person going down the sidewalk on crutches or with a prosthetic arm is going to get more looks.

I remember being very ashamed of my glasses when I got them when I was in 2nd grade. And kids DID make fun of me for several weeks. So it's also about being "different".
 
alwayz said:
Edward. you are falling into the trap that makes you think people are singling you out to determine if you are wearing a diaper, Sadly there are many that feel this way, and it is wholly unfounded. To be honest, people do not scan each other to see if they are wearing a diaper, people are concerned with their own concerns. When I first started wearing diapers, I thought that people were looking at me and knowing that I was wearing a diaper. I found myself looking at other people to see if they had a diaper on as well. I then realized that I was more interested in what I had gone to the store to accomplish. Understand that if you make it obvious that there is something different about you, you then attract more attention. To lessen your anxiety, go to a large store, I go to Walmart, and just shop, relax, and do what you came to the store to do. Today I do everything while wearing a diaper under my clothes. I wear pants that are not overly tight, and are usually dark like jeans and a top that covers the top of my jeans. AS your experience grows, your anxiety will decrease.
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Fair enough, I do know that people aren't looking for it, and that part is anxiety. But you never know when your shirt crawls up a bit or something like that. You are most definetly right though. I hope my worries fades over time. Thank you for the words of advice. :)

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bambinod said:
Also for adults it has that appearance of being "defective" or "damaged". Just the same as a person going down the sidewalk on crutches or with a prosthetic arm is going to get more looks.

I remember being very ashamed of my glasses when I got them when I was in 2nd grade. And kids DID make fun of me for several weeks. So it's also about being "different".
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I can actually relate well to that. But I am more frightened by people maybe seeing my diaper, than making fun of me wearing glasses though. :p
But, I mean... If homosexuals, transgenders, etc. are accepted, why not people who looks- or wears something different? It's truly saddening that people can't just all accept each other.

Have a very nice day. :)
-Edward.
 
Accidents do happen and that has happened to me. I was at a dealer for some work on my car. I was sitting in a chair in a room with several other people. The service advisor called my name and I stood up I hadn't thought about my shirt riding up and the top of my diaper and diaper cover were exposed. I do not know if anyone noticed, but I did, and quickly pulled the back of my shirt down to cover my exposure. I was embarrassed, but it was a learning experience.
 
Do you want to know what’s worse than being out in public around unaccepting, judging people? Being married to somebody who is unaccepting and judging on my choice tonwear diapers. Life is sometimes miserable because I have to hide it even at home.
 
If you break your leg you probably need to use a crutch to walk. Diapers are like a crutch. As you get older you’ll care less about what people think, say, or do.
 
There is another aspect specific to diapers that adds to the stigma; they relate to bodily waste and excretory functions that many people find embarrasing/intimate/funny/unpleasant. They can be interpreted as an indication of suspect personal hygiene, which can be repulsive. Compare glasses, which help people see better, to diapers, which help collect urine and faeces that are passed in places other than the toilet either deliberately or accidentally. There is a gulf of difference as far as general acceptability of the subject.

I am not sure this can be properly overcome. I want people to think I am a very clean, neat person, even when my nappy is wet. I don't really even want them to think about what happens when I make a mess and how I clean it up. But if they find out I wear nappies, they will wonder about these things, or compare what I do in my nappies with what babies do in theirs. I would like them to reason: If he can deal with it, it can't be too bad. It would be great if their mental image associated adult nappies with, say, astronauts; they are not slobs, they are pretty elite individuals, yet they wear and use nappies and it's OK. That's the challenge, moving the collective perception of nappies as something to catch yucky messes, to something that enhances a human's endurance and pushes the envelope.
 
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PaddedInPuyallup said:
Do you want to know what’s worse than being out in public around unaccepting, judging people? Being married to somebody who is unaccepting and judging on my choice tonwear diapers. Life is sometimes miserable because I have to hide it even at home.
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I am sorry that you have to deal with that. I really hope your situation improved for you.
-Edward.

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mayhem said:
If you break your leg you probably need to use a crutch to walk. Diapers are like a crutch. As you get older you’ll care less about what people think, say, or do.
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Haha, that's a good, and propbably true saying/statement.

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Paxe said:
There is another aspect specific to diapers that adds to the stigma; they relate to bodily waste and excretory functions that many people find embarrasing/intimate/funny/unpleasant. They can be interpreted as an indication of suspect personal hygiene, which can be repulsive. Compare glasses, which help people see better, to diapers, which help collect urine and faeces that are passed in places other than the toilet either deliberately or accidentally. There is a gulf of difference as far as general acceptability of the subject.

I am not sure this can be properly overcome. I want people to think I am a very clean, neat person, even when my nappy is wet. I don't really even want them to think about what happens when I make a mess and how I clean it up. But if they find out I wear nappies, they will wonder about these things, or compare what I do in my nappies with what babies do in theirs. I would like them to reason: If he can deal with it, it can't be too bad. It would be great if their mental image associated adult nappies with, say, astronauts; they are not slobs, they are pretty elite individuals, yet they wear and use nappies and it's OK. That's the challenge, moving the collective perception of nappies as something to catch yucky messes, to something that enhances a human's endurance and pushes the envelope.
Click to expand...

I see the point you are trying to make. And of course, if you have a choice, you shouldn't mess or somethin glike that when you are around others. But as for those who do not have control, that is just something other will have to accept. As for urine, that is sterile, and you can also keep yourself presentably ,regardless of your diaper status. Don't get me wrong, flaunting your buisness in others faces is not okay. But if you have an accident, or your diaper accidentally is showing, that's not something you should be blamed for.
 
Hey Edward,
I agree with you. My parents shamed my ABDL side heavily. I am an extremely tough woman from the inner city in MN USA. My little side is how I relax. Why the Terrorism against me? It's just diapers. I am 44 years old now. I was a lawyer, taught in college etc... I hate my emotionally abusive mother. She and my father have attempted to destroy my self-esteem. Never worked though. Love myself endlessly. [emoji3522][emoji3522][emoji3522]I admire your courage.

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extremecomfy said:
Hey Edward,
I agree with you. My parents shamed my ABDL side heavily. I am an extremely tough woman from the inner city in MN USA. My little side is how I relax. Why the Terrorism against me? It's just diapers. I am 44 years old now. I was a lawyer, taught in college etc... I hate my emotionally abusive mother. She and my father have attempted to destroy my self-esteem. Never worked though. Love myself endlessly. [emoji3522][emoji3522][emoji3522]I admire your courage.

Sent from my UL40 using Tapatalk
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I am sorry to hear abut what you've went through. I am glad that you are happy with yourself now though. I am just happy that there is a community here, and that I have a friend I can wear when I'm around. I wear to school everyday though, and as much as possible in general. But the anxiety is tough though. :/
 
But if you have an accident, or your diaper accidentally is showing, that's not something you should be blamed for. [/QUOTE

The problem is that you can't control the train of thought that a minor reveal might set off. Someone might catch a glimpse of waistband; nothing too risqué about that in itself and not something that would worry me, but it triggers the associations. They might go from 'hmm, that person's waistband is showing' to 'that person might be wearing a nappy full of wee and poo and is probably very dirty and smelly', without deliberate intent to think badly of anyone. Others might be fine with it; you just have to assume there will be a wide range of reactions from compassion to neutrality to disgust.
Click to expand...
 
Paxe said:
But if you have an accident, or your diaper accidentally is showing, that's not something you should be blamed for. [/QUOTE

The problem is that you can't control the train of thought that a minor reveal might set off. Someone might catch a glimpse of waistband; nothing too risqué about that in itself and not something that would worry me, but it triggers the associations. They might go from 'hmm, that person's waistband is showing' to 'that person might be wearing a nappy full of wee and poo and is probably very dirty and smelly', without deliberate intent to think badly of anyone. Others might be fine with it; you just have to assume there will be a wide range of reactions from compassion to neutrality to disgust.
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I get that there will be some variation throughout different individuals. But I just think that mostly, people should be accepted, no matter what they wear. I hopefully think, if I ever get someone spotting me in public, they would hopefully jump to the sanest conclusion: That it's medical. But, ey'... Regardless, I guess I'll live if someone were to gets a laugh out of me wearing diapers. Although I would not be as confident if/when that happens. :p
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Because I'm a dl, I only wear diapers at home, mostly at night time. As for someone wearing in public, it would only bother me if an adult was showing off on purpose.
 
Well there is a certain stigma atached to diapers that only old people and babies wear diapers, When a fully funnctional adult is wearing it throws people off. (in my head i like to imagine they are jealous as diapers and pacis are awsome) but you know this is reality. However i found if you already established a friendship with people and then they find out they turn out to be far more accepting than a stranger. It just boils down to social norms and if you care for such things and you are a weird person :p you are going to have a rough time. Just be yourself and only good can happen. Sure there might be some stinker who will inevitably find out and be mean about it but does it really matter? A real friend and a person to care about will accept you no matter what. :) wishing you the best
 
Well, it's only "socially unacceptable" for those of us that wear diapers because we like them, I'm pretty sure the majority of Adults would be understanding if its medically necessary; but I think the vast majority of people think choosing to wear and use diapers for any number of other reasons is weird, and especially people may think we have a Mental Health Disorder if we are happy to put on Diapers and use them.

I think a lot goes along with the message parents usually tell children to get them interested in Potty Training and wearing Underwear instead of Diapers.

They tell them "Diapers are for Babies, do you want to be a Baby or a Big Boy/Girl?", and to further this point they may punish The Child for any accidents/failures in the process, while rewarding successes.

That goes to show that Diapers are for Babies, Big Kids wear Underwear. You should feel like embarassed/ashamed, like you failed when you have an accident, and essentially that independence and functioning like a "big kid" is a huge deal.

So, you see Adults make it into a big deal and make it so children see diapers as a bad thing and want to get out of diapers and into Underwear.

Of course we all know otherwise and that it's not that bad and is better to go along with it than to fight it, and that it is okay to be who we are and do what we like (barring behavior that is Harmful to us and illegal, and diapers and neither of those things)
 
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Paxe said:
There is another aspect specific to diapers that adds to the stigma; they relate to bodily waste and excretory functions that many people find embarrasing/intimate/funny/unpleasant. They can be interpreted as an indication of suspect personal hygiene, which can be repulsive. Compare glasses, which help people see better, to diapers, which help collect urine and faeces that are passed in places other than the toilet either deliberately or accidentally. There is a gulf of difference as far as general acceptability of the subject.

I am not sure this can be properly overcome. I want people to think I am a very clean, neat person, even when my nappy is wet. I don't really even want them to think about what happens when I make a mess and how I clean it up. But if they find out I wear nappies, they will wonder about these things, or compare what I do in my nappies with what babies do in theirs. I would like them to reason: If he can deal with it, it can't be too bad. It would be great if their mental image associated adult nappies with, say, astronauts; they are not slobs, they are pretty elite individuals, yet they wear and use nappies and it's OK. That's the challenge, moving the collective perception of nappies as something to catch yucky messes, to something that enhances a human's endurance and pushes the envelope.
Click to expand...

This is what I was going to say. There is a difference between those who need to wear "protection" and those who wear diapers because they want to feel like a baby or a toddler. Of course, I would guess that most people don't know that AB/DLs exist and would be shocked to discover us.

There are some people who simply enjoy being mean and judgmental toward others. We see their comments on social media all the time and they're not worth the time to take seriously.
 
Hi alwayz I do agree with you 110%. I feel very secure when I wear diapers and I also get aroused by the feeling of them. Wearing diapers is also a great way to relieve stress too. I hope to make some new diapers friends on here.
 
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