Cloudbrain
Contributor
- Messages
- 4
- Role
- Babyfur
- Little
Gosh, an introduction? Where to even start? 
You guys can call me Cloud, I am... Fairly new to the ABDL community, though it's a bit complicated. Grab your popcorn and your favorite blanket, this may get pretty wordy!
I ended up stumbling upon a podcast featuring an ABDL/babyfur that made me realize that the ABDL community had more to it than I'd thought. After the first listening, my initial reaction was distaste and repulsion, but I found myself listening to the same podcast episode over and over again with changing reactions each time. Soon, this curiosity sparked in me that I wasn't fully aware I had. After almost a year of diaper related dreams and fantasies about having my own nursery/playroom, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to study more about the community.
At 17 during the start of my senior year in high school, I decided to join FurAffinity (I think I lied about my age to register which I'm not proud of) to find my place in the babyfur community. I came from a website that is very anti ABDL and has very confusing + strict rules about labels regarding people who age regress. I thought that I needed a space to feel stress-free and indulge in my interest in cute patterned diapers and other such stuff, so I figured FA would be a nice start since I was already familiar with the furry community and that it was also an art outlet.
For a few months, I posted drawings of furries, Pokemon, and other cutesy animal-like characters donning diapers and pacifiers. I made some like-minded friends, developed my art skill, and even had a try at writing babyfur related stories! Long story short though, I eventually ditched and disabled the account because of a number of fears that grew in me;
1- I was afraid of my other internet friends discovering the Furaffinity due to my recognizable art style. I had a few FA friends find me elsewhere, but I was lucky that they are kind and non-judgmental as can be. On the other site I used however, if word got out that I had ties with ABDL, I could have lost a lot of friends and a lot of trust. I really didn't (and don't) want that.
2- I was afraid that my ABDL art would ruin my chance to get a career as a graphic designer/animator/kid's book illustrator in my future. I also didn't want to solely be known as "That person that draws Pikachu in Pampers" since there's a lot more to me. Not to mention the obvious stigma of drawing that stuff and simultaneously drawing art to be meant for (actual) children.
3- I was really afraid of pedophiles enjoying my art/being seen as a pedophile. When I was 13 I had some... Experience with one, and I can't stomach the thought of being seen as a creep like that. I truly believe that an adult that has adult desires towards naive children is as low as a human can get.
For me personally, ABDL is not a sexual thing. It's more an escapism into a fantasy of living the bliss of a toddler again. Everything is cute, cuddly, soft and simple in a world where you're expected to grow up so fast. I am childish at nature and always have been, but pure (temporary) immersion into life as a 3 year old sounds euphoric, especially with the thought of someone playing the role as a caregiver for me!
For a long time, I again pushed away thoughts about crinkly diapers and colorful cribs, until I found (and quickly purchased) a bright yellow Big Bird sippy cup at the dollar store that sort of caused everything to rush back.
I am now a high school graduate with a job and a bank account, I really could buy a pack of diapers as a treat to myself! It's difficult though since I can't drive a car yet and I still live with my parents. I feel panicked at the very thought of my parents or friends finding out about my interest in diapers and pacifiers, I'm really struggling to find the balance between feeling at ease from judgment and also indulging in my odd interest.
It'd be a dream to someday find a caregiver friend and have my own playroom, but for now I'm making do with watching Care Bears alone in my room with my favorite plushies and sippy cup.
Anyways, I don't know if I will ever post any more ABDL related furry art to the internet due to my anxieties, I figured I would make an account here to chat with other ABs like me and maybe figure myself out some more!
Thank you so much to anyone that read my extremely long introduction post xD If anyone has any advice to spare, I could really use it! I really hope to make some new friends, I think that this community has a lot of wonderful things and wonderful people, even if the general public seems to think otherwise
You guys can call me Cloud, I am... Fairly new to the ABDL community, though it's a bit complicated. Grab your popcorn and your favorite blanket, this may get pretty wordy!
I ended up stumbling upon a podcast featuring an ABDL/babyfur that made me realize that the ABDL community had more to it than I'd thought. After the first listening, my initial reaction was distaste and repulsion, but I found myself listening to the same podcast episode over and over again with changing reactions each time. Soon, this curiosity sparked in me that I wasn't fully aware I had. After almost a year of diaper related dreams and fantasies about having my own nursery/playroom, I decided that it wouldn't hurt to study more about the community.
At 17 during the start of my senior year in high school, I decided to join FurAffinity (I think I lied about my age to register which I'm not proud of) to find my place in the babyfur community. I came from a website that is very anti ABDL and has very confusing + strict rules about labels regarding people who age regress. I thought that I needed a space to feel stress-free and indulge in my interest in cute patterned diapers and other such stuff, so I figured FA would be a nice start since I was already familiar with the furry community and that it was also an art outlet.
For a few months, I posted drawings of furries, Pokemon, and other cutesy animal-like characters donning diapers and pacifiers. I made some like-minded friends, developed my art skill, and even had a try at writing babyfur related stories! Long story short though, I eventually ditched and disabled the account because of a number of fears that grew in me;
1- I was afraid of my other internet friends discovering the Furaffinity due to my recognizable art style. I had a few FA friends find me elsewhere, but I was lucky that they are kind and non-judgmental as can be. On the other site I used however, if word got out that I had ties with ABDL, I could have lost a lot of friends and a lot of trust. I really didn't (and don't) want that.
2- I was afraid that my ABDL art would ruin my chance to get a career as a graphic designer/animator/kid's book illustrator in my future. I also didn't want to solely be known as "That person that draws Pikachu in Pampers" since there's a lot more to me. Not to mention the obvious stigma of drawing that stuff and simultaneously drawing art to be meant for (actual) children.
3- I was really afraid of pedophiles enjoying my art/being seen as a pedophile. When I was 13 I had some... Experience with one, and I can't stomach the thought of being seen as a creep like that. I truly believe that an adult that has adult desires towards naive children is as low as a human can get.
For me personally, ABDL is not a sexual thing. It's more an escapism into a fantasy of living the bliss of a toddler again. Everything is cute, cuddly, soft and simple in a world where you're expected to grow up so fast. I am childish at nature and always have been, but pure (temporary) immersion into life as a 3 year old sounds euphoric, especially with the thought of someone playing the role as a caregiver for me!
For a long time, I again pushed away thoughts about crinkly diapers and colorful cribs, until I found (and quickly purchased) a bright yellow Big Bird sippy cup at the dollar store that sort of caused everything to rush back.
I am now a high school graduate with a job and a bank account, I really could buy a pack of diapers as a treat to myself! It's difficult though since I can't drive a car yet and I still live with my parents. I feel panicked at the very thought of my parents or friends finding out about my interest in diapers and pacifiers, I'm really struggling to find the balance between feeling at ease from judgment and also indulging in my odd interest.
It'd be a dream to someday find a caregiver friend and have my own playroom, but for now I'm making do with watching Care Bears alone in my room with my favorite plushies and sippy cup.
- - - - - -
Anyways, I don't know if I will ever post any more ABDL related furry art to the internet due to my anxieties, I figured I would make an account here to chat with other ABs like me and maybe figure myself out some more!
Thank you so much to anyone that read my extremely long introduction post xD If anyone has any advice to spare, I could really use it! I really hope to make some new friends, I think that this community has a lot of wonderful things and wonderful people, even if the general public seems to think otherwise
