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Thread: How to Find a Mommy?

  1. #51

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    I’d look for an individual senior caregiver with nanny or extensive childcare experience, and ask them in a brief email if they’d be interested in discussing some unusual private duty work ... nothing illegal, immoral or fattening, but unusual.

    I’ve never had that fail me as an opening line; it gets a laugh and tends to make AB care seem relatively innocuous.

    In my experience, if you come right out in the introductory email and talk about what you want, you don’t get a response. If you establish something of a humorous rapport, on the other hand, you should be able to carry on a dialogue.

    The lady may have no interest, but she probably won’t go off her rocker if the idea offends her.
    Ok, So if they do respond to what you stated to say in short then what should I proceed to tell them?

  2. #52

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    Keep your reply as brief as possible, and be very matter-of-fact in your second email: You're an adult baby, looking for someone with her sort of childcare and adult nursing experience who can provide infant-type care to an adult. Then mention that you know the job sounds unusual, and it is, but you're very sincere and happy to provide her with additional information if she's interested and thinks this is something she would be able to do.

    Incidentally, be prepared for turndowns along the lines of "I'd be too embarrassed."

    If you're emailing via Care.com or a similar site, I'd give her an email address and suggest she contact you there. That way, you avoid any TOS violations with the 'care' sites in the event she asks questions that lead you into the more personal or intimate aspects of infantilism.

    I've found that about 1 out of 3 will reply to the very direct response that indicates what you're looking for. They'll typically have questions ... lots of questions. It's not uncommon to email back and forth for a week or more before the lady decides she'd like to meet for coffee, etc.

    It's important not to bring up diapers or being diapered until she does. For whatever reason, that's the 'ultimate' aspect of big baby care and most women will take some time to get their head around the notion of an otherwise healthy adult wearing and using diapers. That's why you word the initial response in very general terms. If she emails you back to ask if you wear diapers, just say "Yes, I do wear diapers." Don't offer any more detail until she asks. If you meet in person and she still hasn't brought up diapers or what you wear, you can ask a direct question: "Do you think you could change a wet adult diaper?" Most will have done so hundreds of times already; you need to 'couch' the question to make it seem almost an afterthought or something you're unsure she can do.

    The point of the in-person meeting is to (a) show her you're a real, warm human being, (b) make the point that the care you're seeking isn't that hard, and (c) that this job might actually be fun. Compared to other senior care jobs she's likely had, caring for you is a piece of cake because you won't hurt yourself, won't fall, won't require medication at specific times, won't have bedsores, etc. However, you need to let her reach that conclusion herself ... telling her the work is easy will likely produce a "Why haven't you found anyone else, then?" sort of response.

    But I'm getting the cart before the horse. Don't be surprised if you exchange 6 to 12 emails before deciding to meet in person. And when you do, pay her something to compensate her for the time. I always hand the lady a $20 in an envelope. It's not much money, but it shows you value her time and expertise. And if you discuss an hourly rate, go toward the high side of the hourly rate she specified on the site ... for example, if she has an hourly rate of $15 to $25, offer $20 or $25 per hour to start.

    When you do meet someone in person, make sure that the place isn't so noisy that you cannot hear yourselves think. Also make sure it isn't wildly crowded. I prefer a sandwich shop or restaurant to Starbucks for that reason ... it's much easier to have a quiet and detailed conversation without worrying about being overheard. Be sure to pick up the tab. If she doesn't want to eat, you should ... the silence will give her the opportunity to talk, tell you about herself and her experience, and ask whatever questions she has.
    Last edited by sbmccue; 17 Hours Ago at 22:59.

  3. #53

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    Sorry for hijacking this thread if any of you think I am, but anyways...
    I have still not found a go-to mommy nor online caretaker in over a year of searching. Fetlife has been a failure and on Discord my supply of temporary caretakers has pretty much dried up. I've mostly have had to hop between 4-5 different ones to have a chance of getting some roleplay time. Since IRL is now impossible with my parents disrupting it; I fear that once I regress permanently, which is very possible to happen soon (due to my circumstances explained in my most recent blog post), my parents will probably kick me out for losing my usefulness to them as their personal slave/maid to fulfill their acts of service love language in a twisted and toxic way.

  4. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmccue View Post
    Keep your reply as brief as possible, and be very matter-of-fact in your second email: You're an adult baby, looking for someone with her sort of childcare and adult nursing experience who can provide infant-type care to an adult. Then mention that you know the job sounds unusual, and it is, but you're very sincere and happy to provide her with additional information if she's interested and think this is something she would be able to do.

    Incidentally, be prepared for turndowns along the lines of "I'd be too embarrassed."

    If you're emailing via Care.com or a similar site, I'd give her an email address and suggest she contact you there. That way, you avoid any TOS violations with the 'care' sites in the event she asks questions that lead you into the more personal or intimate aspects of infantilism.

    I've found that about 1 out of 3 will reply to the very direct response that indicates what you're looking for. They'll typically have questions ... lots of questions. It's not uncommon to email back and forth for a week or more before the lady decides she'd like to meet for coffee, etc.

    It's important not to bring up diapers or being diapered until she does. For whatever reason, that's the 'ultimate' aspect of big baby care and most women will take some time to get their head around the notion of an otherwise healthy adult wearing and using diapers. That's why you word the initial response in very general terms. If she emails you back to ask if you wear diapers, just say "Yes, I do wear diapers." Don't offer any more detail until she asks. If you meet in person and she still hasn't brought up diapers or what you wear, you can ask a direct question: "Do you think you could change a wet adult diaper?" Most will have done so hundreds of times already; you need to 'couch' the question to make it seem almost an afterthought or something you're unsure she can do.

    The point of the in-person meeting is to (a) show her you're a real, warm human being, (b) make the point that the care you're seeking isn't that hard, and (c) that this job might actually be fun. Compared to other senior care jobs she's likely had, caring for you is a piece of cake because you won't hurt yourself, won't fall, won't require medication at specific times, won't have bedsores, etc. However, you need to let her reach that conclusion herself ... telling her the work is easy will likely produce a "Why haven't you found anyone else, then?" sort of response.

    But I'm getting the cart before the horse. Don't be surprised if you exchange 6 to 12 emails before deciding to meet in person. And when you do, pay her something to compensate her for the time. I always hand the lady a $20 in an envelope. It's not much money, but it shows you value her time and expertise. And if you discuss an hourly rate, go toward the high side of the hourly rate she specified on the site ... for example, if she has an hourly rate of $15 to $25, offer $20 or $25 per hour to start.

    When you do meet someone in person, make sure that the place isn't so noisy that you cannot hear yourselves think. Also make sure it isn't wildly crowded. I prefer a sandwich shop or restaurant to Starbucks for that reason ... it's much easier to have a quiet and detailed conversation without worrying about being overheard. Be sure to pick up the tab. If she doesn't want to eat, you should ... the silence will give her the opportunity to talk, tell you about herself and her experience, and ask whatever questions she has.
    Wow you make this sound easy. I was trying to explain what my needs would be in my ads and diaper changes were listed as part of care needed. Maybe that's why I only by ot one response. Well put advice.

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