Jin15
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 23
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Babyfur
- Diaperfur
Hey there everyone. I've made a few posts on the forum about various subjects so far, but I feel like it's time I stop putting it off and finally talk about the main reason I signed up for an account here. To get right to the point, I've never been comfortable with the fact that I like wearing diapers and occasionally doing light AB role-play in bed.
There's no reason I shouldn't be comfortable with it. I have a really supportive wife who has encouraged me to explore my interest in diapers and AB play for the last 4 years and she's totally happy to do those things with me whenever I want, and I have several friends both online and in real life who are either into AB/DL actives themselves or are supportive of it. And yet, in spite of the support and encouragement of everyone around me, more often than not I kinda hate myself and wish I didn't like the things I like.
Some days are better than others. There are days when I feel totally happy and comfy sitting around in diapers all day and really enjoy it in both sexual and non-sexual ways. It's weird but on my good days my favorite thing about wearing a diaper isn't anything sexual at all, it's that it just makes me feel really relaxed and at ease when I'm wearing one. It's a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can't quite find a reason for, but it feels nice. Like I stress out and worry a lot less on days when I'm all padded up, and when life doesn't go as planned I don't get bent out of shape about it. I guess it's kind of an unusual way to relax, but it really does help me de-stress a lot.
But those days are the minority and most of the time I just feel sad and ashamed of myself when I think about wearing diapers or doing anything remotely AB related. I know there's no reason I should feel that way, because wearing diapers and doing AB play is a totally harmless activity that hurts no one; and I didn't have a religious upbringing so I can't think of any moral reason I should feel bad about it either. I don't know why I feel this way, but so often it makes me feel deeply sad and makes my stomach do flip flops when I think about these things that I like; especially AB play. The diapers I can deal with liking sometimes, but the idea of sucking a pacifier or sitting around in a playpen or anything like that… I hate it and I hate thinking about it, and yet part of me also knows that I'd enjoy it.
I know these are likely problems best handled by a sexual psychologist, but at this point in my life I'd really rather not meet with a therapist and have to explain all of this to them along with all my other weird but totally harmless kinks (plushies, furries, babyfurs, scat, rimming, etc.) so I thought I'd try reaching out to the AB/DL community first to see if anyone else has had problems coming to terms with their kinks and how they remedied it.
I know that we can't change the things we like sexually any more than we can change the color of our skin or stop the sun from rising and setting, so the only thing I can really do is try to accept myself and learn to be okay with who I am, but I've been trying for years and years and in spite of the total support of everyone around me I just can't seem to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
There's no reason I shouldn't be comfortable with it. I have a really supportive wife who has encouraged me to explore my interest in diapers and AB play for the last 4 years and she's totally happy to do those things with me whenever I want, and I have several friends both online and in real life who are either into AB/DL actives themselves or are supportive of it. And yet, in spite of the support and encouragement of everyone around me, more often than not I kinda hate myself and wish I didn't like the things I like.
Some days are better than others. There are days when I feel totally happy and comfy sitting around in diapers all day and really enjoy it in both sexual and non-sexual ways. It's weird but on my good days my favorite thing about wearing a diaper isn't anything sexual at all, it's that it just makes me feel really relaxed and at ease when I'm wearing one. It's a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can't quite find a reason for, but it feels nice. Like I stress out and worry a lot less on days when I'm all padded up, and when life doesn't go as planned I don't get bent out of shape about it. I guess it's kind of an unusual way to relax, but it really does help me de-stress a lot.
But those days are the minority and most of the time I just feel sad and ashamed of myself when I think about wearing diapers or doing anything remotely AB related. I know there's no reason I should feel that way, because wearing diapers and doing AB play is a totally harmless activity that hurts no one; and I didn't have a religious upbringing so I can't think of any moral reason I should feel bad about it either. I don't know why I feel this way, but so often it makes me feel deeply sad and makes my stomach do flip flops when I think about these things that I like; especially AB play. The diapers I can deal with liking sometimes, but the idea of sucking a pacifier or sitting around in a playpen or anything like that… I hate it and I hate thinking about it, and yet part of me also knows that I'd enjoy it.
I know these are likely problems best handled by a sexual psychologist, but at this point in my life I'd really rather not meet with a therapist and have to explain all of this to them along with all my other weird but totally harmless kinks (plushies, furries, babyfurs, scat, rimming, etc.) so I thought I'd try reaching out to the AB/DL community first to see if anyone else has had problems coming to terms with their kinks and how they remedied it.
I know that we can't change the things we like sexually any more than we can change the color of our skin or stop the sun from rising and setting, so the only thing I can really do is try to accept myself and learn to be okay with who I am, but I've been trying for years and years and in spite of the total support of everyone around me I just can't seem to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.