How did you come to terms with being an AB/DL?

While I'm still in the process of of accepting myself, what really helped was looking at it for what it is and surrounding myself with supportive friends.

What is ABDL when you really think about it? Enjoying to partake in activities that bring out the younger and more innocent facets of your personality usually yeah?
No actual children are involved, you're not harming yourself, nor are you harming anyone around you. But it makes you happy. Take pride in the fact you found such a healthy outlet for stress.

Diapers are just underwear when you get down to it which just so happen to be conveniently absorbent. They have such a bad stigma because they're a taboo reserved for the young and the elderly. A silly taboo when you think of it especially considering many people need it for medical purposes that don't fall into those age ranges. Would you gripe at a diabetic for checking their blood sugar or giving themselves insulin?

Finding supportive friends is difficult sometimes, but luckily thanks to the internet and places like ADISC, we can rest assured knowing we're not some kind of freak and there are so many more of us out there than we may think. Shoot you might even be living near more ABDLs and not even know it! I was hesitant joining FetLife at first because I thought it was too extreme for me but now I can honestly say I'm glad I joined and started going to munches. I met an absolutely wonderful couple (one of which is a pup/little) and another ABDL close enough for us to hang out in person. Results may vary sure, but if you ever can I urge people to attend munches even if they're not ABDL specific. There's so many absolutely wonderful people that show up who are there to socialize and try to make friends. Even if they're not AB per-say, it's far more likely they're open to and accepting of your little side than you usually find from vanilla circles. L
 
Jin15 said:
Hey there everyone. I've made a few posts on the forum about various subjects so far, but I feel like it's time I stop putting it off and finally talk about the main reason I signed up for an account here. To get right to the point, I've never been comfortable with the fact that I like wearing diapers and occasionally doing light AB role-play in bed.

There's no reason I shouldn't be comfortable with it. I have a really supportive wife who has encouraged me to explore my interest in diapers and AB play for the last 4 years and she's totally happy to do those things with me whenever I want, and I have several friends both online and in real life who are either into AB/DL actives themselves or are supportive of it. And yet, in spite of the support and encouragement of everyone around me, more often than not I kinda hate myself and wish I didn't like the things I like.

Some days are better than others. There are days when I feel totally happy and comfy sitting around in diapers all day and really enjoy it in both sexual and non-sexual ways. It's weird but on my good days my favorite thing about wearing a diaper isn't anything sexual at all, it's that it just makes me feel really relaxed and at ease when I'm wearing one. It's a peaceful and comforting feeling that I can't quite find a reason for, but it feels nice. Like I stress out and worry a lot less on days when I'm all padded up, and when life doesn't go as planned I don't get bent out of shape about it. I guess it's kind of an unusual way to relax, but it really does help me de-stress a lot.

But those days are the minority and most of the time I just feel sad and ashamed of myself when I think about wearing diapers or doing anything remotely AB related. I know there's no reason I should feel that way, because wearing diapers and doing AB play is a totally harmless activity that hurts no one; and I didn't have a religious upbringing so I can't think of any moral reason I should feel bad about it either. I don't know why I feel this way, but so often it makes me feel deeply sad and makes my stomach do flip flops when I think about these things that I like; especially AB play. The diapers I can deal with liking sometimes, but the idea of sucking a pacifier or sitting around in a playpen or anything like that… I hate it and I hate thinking about it, and yet part of me also knows that I'd enjoy it.


I know these are likely problems best handled by a sexual psychologist, but at this point in my life I'd really rather not meet with a therapist and have to explain all of this to them along with all my other weird but totally harmless kinks (plushies, furries, babyfurs, scat, rimming, etc.) so I thought I'd try reaching out to the AB/DL community first to see if anyone else has had problems coming to terms with their kinks and how they remedied it.

I know that we can't change the things we like sexually any more than we can change the color of our skin or stop the sun from rising and setting, so the only thing I can really do is try to accept myself and learn to be okay with who I am, but I've been trying for years and years and in spite of the total support of everyone around me I just can't seem to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Well, one day I was having a bad day (can't remember why it was a bad day) and I wanted to regress and clear my mind, but I felt very conflicted about doing it, so I decided to weigh my options: Be stressed, no regression, or regress and be happier as a result. You can probably guess what my choice was.

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sbmccue said:
Society does a real 'number' on males, because we grow up with the expectation that we should be macho, tough and able to take care of ourselves. From time to time, I need to be diapered, fed a bottle, bathed and put down for a nap. In comparison to what other people do to stay 'straight,' this is pretty tame stuff. That doesn't, unfortunately, make it any easier to accept this aspect of my personality.

I think that sbmccue got it perfectly. As guys, we struggle with the image of wanting to be a man, a provider a protector. Baby's are vulnerable, dependent and soft. These 2 versions of ourselves are hard to rectify.

It was for me, until I came to the conclusion that just because I am AB it does not make me any less of a man. I am still a great provider, a protector a loving husband and father. My wife tells me she loves my, "soft underbelly" side. There are just 2 of me now, balanced. I take care of my responsibilities as I should, and when I can I like to wear diapers and get that TLC from my wife, momma2moosey. I am still the same person, and I would wager a better person, a better provider, husband and father as now I am not constantly frustrated by an unmet need, and have incredible love and support.

I really think that you are halfway there, you have not only the approval but the acceptance of your wife, this is huge. You have the support of the members here on ADISC. Now you just have to view yourself through 2 lenses, neither of them fogged and both of them great views.
 
You're where I was a while ago. Things we both have going for us:

* Loving partners who don't mind our AB/DL sides.
* Friends who love us regardless.
* A community that accepts us (the Furry community in general is pretty okay with it - obviously within reason).

I had felt ashamed of it for a while early on because I had weird feelings whenever I saw a child being changed by a parent in public. I though "Oh, crap! Am I a Pedo?" But I talked with my therapist and we got to the root of the issue: it wasn't the kid I wanted - it was the attention from the caregiver. I was jealous of the kid. And that was the breakthrough I needed to figure out where I stand on things. Since then, it's only gotten better. I have no filter anyway and I only have a sense of shame when it comes to things that might actually harm me in the future. But since all my friends knew, my wife knows, my mom knows (after I had to explain why her sister in law needed better protection and gave her some of mine), and so I was drunk at a party one night with some awesome coworkers I really respect and one of them saw an ad for Bambino on my facebook feed. So I told them. They were like, "That's actually not that weird. Like it makes total sense." So yeah, I no longer have worry or shame. At the end of the day, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

You're you. You like what you like. You don't need to feel bad about it. It doesn't harm others. It doesn't harm you. You should feel good about it!

- - - Updated - - -

There's also the two-sides thing. My wife and I are still in the process of working this out and it's fluid. I tend to sometimes have a sexual interest in wearing diapers. Sometimes she's okay with having "diapers" and "sexy" in the same mindset. Other times she's looking for a capital-M man. I'm learning to read how to play those times. When she's feeling vulnerable, etc., then I need to be strong and the diapers stay put away. When she's feeling strong, then it's okay for me to be the weak one. It's about balance. And it's never going to be perfect all the time.
 
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