Hey guys!
I just signed up on this forum and I'm here because I need input/feedback on certain issues. My boyfriend is an abdl (I'm not) and I'm foremost looking for input from other people in the same situation as me, and of course if you as an abdl have had your partner experience a similar situation (when you came out to your partner).
Let's take it from the beginning.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years, he came out to me and told me about his fetish 4 years in to our relationship. I'll admit I didn't react so well on what he told me at first. I was afraid and kind of distanced myself in a way from his fetish. I didn't want to talk about it.
The consequence of my reaction was that my boyfriend got feelings of shame of course.
Time went by and we tried to talk about it a few times, he tried to indulge in his fetish in front of me a couple of times during two years (pacifier, diaper and his teddybear). My reaction was a kind of distaste of him, I couldn't cope with the situation, and the view of him as a little and my view of him as a sexual partner couldn't merge.
So this became the elephant in the room and one of the reasons we broke up 2 years after he told me.
During the time we were apart we started to speak about the issues we had, our experiences connected to his fetish and our reactions on both of our actions in the different situations that emerged when he tried to act on his fetish.
It felt better during the time we were apart (partly because we actually started to talk about it) and we started to miss each other. So we decided to try again.
And now we are more open about the elephant that used to be in the room, we discuss different compromises and our feelings. For the moment he feels that he wants more that I can give him in regards to his fetish. His compromise or desires is on the level that he wants to be able to indulge in his fetish while I'm near/close to him. Not having sex but to be able to be in the same room, perhaps cuddle and sometimes sleep with his pacifier and teddybear in bed with me.
I'm a bit worried about the future, have you guys been in the same situation? How did you handle it? What compromises did you make? On what level does he/she indulge in his/her fetish now? How does it work when you have kids? (I'm 27 now so I'm more inclined to think about a future with kids).
How did you react when you found out? Was/is my reaction/thinking abnormal?
Feel free to ask me more questions if I forgot to write something down.
Regards Tilia
I just signed up on this forum and I'm here because I need input/feedback on certain issues. My boyfriend is an abdl (I'm not) and I'm foremost looking for input from other people in the same situation as me, and of course if you as an abdl have had your partner experience a similar situation (when you came out to your partner).
Let's take it from the beginning.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years, he came out to me and told me about his fetish 4 years in to our relationship. I'll admit I didn't react so well on what he told me at first. I was afraid and kind of distanced myself in a way from his fetish. I didn't want to talk about it.
The consequence of my reaction was that my boyfriend got feelings of shame of course.
Time went by and we tried to talk about it a few times, he tried to indulge in his fetish in front of me a couple of times during two years (pacifier, diaper and his teddybear). My reaction was a kind of distaste of him, I couldn't cope with the situation, and the view of him as a little and my view of him as a sexual partner couldn't merge.
So this became the elephant in the room and one of the reasons we broke up 2 years after he told me.
During the time we were apart we started to speak about the issues we had, our experiences connected to his fetish and our reactions on both of our actions in the different situations that emerged when he tried to act on his fetish.
It felt better during the time we were apart (partly because we actually started to talk about it) and we started to miss each other. So we decided to try again.
And now we are more open about the elephant that used to be in the room, we discuss different compromises and our feelings. For the moment he feels that he wants more that I can give him in regards to his fetish. His compromise or desires is on the level that he wants to be able to indulge in his fetish while I'm near/close to him. Not having sex but to be able to be in the same room, perhaps cuddle and sometimes sleep with his pacifier and teddybear in bed with me.
I'm a bit worried about the future, have you guys been in the same situation? How did you handle it? What compromises did you make? On what level does he/she indulge in his/her fetish now? How does it work when you have kids? (I'm 27 now so I'm more inclined to think about a future with kids).
How did you react when you found out? Was/is my reaction/thinking abnormal?
Feel free to ask me more questions if I forgot to write something down.
Regards Tilia