Mommys

I think I have been lucky , I have an abdl my whole life, and had the courage to tell 3 women, and all accepted me, and participated, granted, I Have always had some type of balance, but I was wondering how any of you have faired, in coming out to women or men, for that matter.

joeypp said:

I think I have been lucky , I have an abdl my whole life, and had the courage to tell 3 women, and all accepted me, and participated, granted, I Have always had some type of balance, but I was wondering how any of you have faired, in coming out to women or men, for that matter.

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Ask Poofybutt hehe.

He’s the expert on successful Mommy partners!

As myself, I am yet to find a romantic partner to be my Mommy or Daddy.

kik91 said:

Ask Poofybutt hehe.

He’s the expert on successful Mommy partners!

As myself, I am yet to find a romantic partner to be my Mommy or Daddy.

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Beat me to it, haha :laugh:

Like you, Joeypp, I marvel at how lucky I've been as well.

I had two girlfriends in the past, both of whom I told within the first 6 months of the relationship, both accepted it, but in different ways. My first girlfriend was fine with me doing it on my own, actually encouraged it, but did not participate. My 2nd girlfriend embraced it and even built up to mothering me on a few occasions

When Craigslist still had its personal ad feature, I took one out as I hadn't been with anyone, AB related or otherwise for nearly a year at that point. I was contacted by a lovely older woman in my Province who had always been fascinated with the community and she became my Mommy friend. It lasted for quite a few months, countless Baby/Mommy dates were had, it was strictly platonic, but incredibly fulfilling. It has been about 2 nearly 3 months since she stopped seeing me to focus on a romantic relationship with one of her former exes.

I've been keeping it under wraps and may make an official post later, pending her approval, but since it seems relevant, I have also met someone else who has expressed an interest in being my GF/Mommy. That's all I'll say for now

To anyone who might read, while I know Mommies and Daddies aren't extremely common, they are out there. If you meet the right person, embrace honesty and play your cards right, I think any partner who proclaims to love you will participate and encourage it at the utmost or at the very least, make the effort to understand and accept this. There truly is someone out there for everyone and in my and Joeypp's case, there are multiple people out there capable of giving you, AB side and all, love and understanding

Poofybutt said:

To anyone who might read, while I know Mommies and Daddies aren't extremely common, they are out there. If you meet the right person, embrace honesty and play your cards right, I think any partner who proclaims to love you will participate and encourage it at the utmost or at the very least, make the effort to understand and accept this. There truly is someone out there for everyone and in my and Joeypp's case there are multiple people out there capable of giving you, AB side and all, love and understanding

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You killed me with this statement. So encouraging. Thank you!

I to have had success, my current girl friend is totally awesome and truly loves being my big. I straight up told her when we started have more serious dates, I wasn't to overbearing about, it was more like hey I like to wear diapers and dress in onesies sometimes, a few questions were asked at first but nothing was really said or made out of it, then one evening I was folding laundry and she was in the basement with me, I pulled out one of my onesies and she made a comment on how cute it was, later that night she asked me if I can wear it showing her what it looked like on me, I did with a diaper for full effect, she thought it was so cute, we ended up cuddling and more or less without words bonded with each other in a depth we never had before.
Fast forward to today, when we plan weekend trips she packs a diaper bag, she surprises me with onesies, she leaves a diaper out on my bed or toilet signaling to me when I get home that I should change into one.
I consider myself very lucky to have her, shes not an overly dominate woman, but she'll check me to see if im wet, and change me as needed, she'll feed into me wetting heavily by setting me up with multiple drinks.. that kind of stuff.
Now please don't get all googoogaga on this, this isn't a 24/7 thing, this is like 2-3 times a week thing with her participation, although I do almost wear a every night a the week.
In order to be successful with dating someone that is accepting with this is to have a clear mind, give and take and be receptive to they're feelings (spoken & unspoken) Good communication is key and it cant be all take take take, I do a lot for her also, and I try to keep her in the center of my life, whether its fun for me or fun for her.

I have no one... never have...

Leio said:

I've never told anyone about this stuff...

Not even my boyfriend... I can't tell him... I'm too ashamed about it...

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I harbored this shame, humiliation, and embarrassment for over 50 years. It took me 30 years to tell my wife. It was her total acceptance of me that allowed me to shed the shame, humiliation and embarrassment. My life our relationship has never been better. It was the best thing that I ever did. She has said many times that she prefers this me to the old me. I would never go back.

Wished I had a mommy at least for one night.

littlemoosey said:

I harbored this shame, humiliation, and embarrassment for over 50 years. It took me 30 years to tell my wife. It was her total acceptance of me that allowed me to shed the shame, humiliation and embarrassment. My life our relationship has never been better. It was the best thing that I ever did. She has said many times that she prefers this me to the old me. I would never go back.

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Thankyou for sharing this comment. It's actually quite touching, not to mention a morale booster.

DeepBlue said:

Thankyou for sharing this comment. It's actually quite touching, not to mention a morale booster.

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Your welcome DeepBlue, you are not the first response I have had like this. I am glad it gives you some hope. Good luck.

The OP prompted me to analyze past romantic and professional babysitting relationships.

The first woman I told about my infantilism, when I was 19, seemed accepting enough. She wanted to know if I'd actually wet a diaper, and often asked me to "be my baby" and suck her nipples while we were making out. Alas, I never seized the opportunity to try wearing a diaper around her; the only diapers that would have fit me back then were the flat Curity cloth diapers which were commonly available at the time.

The second woman I told was a self-confessed 'baby nut,' and told me that I was 'sick' for wanting to be treated as an infant.

The third woman I told was willing to diaper me and change me, but she could not role-play as a mommy.

I've also had 15 babysitters over the past 25 years. Some have been better than others; most were healthcare professionals and happy to have the extra income. My current nanny is a mother herself but has no healthcare background; she's probably the first to see me as a 'big baby' rather than an adult in diapers.

In addition to those 15 women, who obviously understood how I wanted to be treated and were able to offer that sort of care, I've told 5 others face-to-face who were not accepting. These were all women I thought would be good potential babysitters.

We have many members who post here about their experiences trying to make a 'mommy' or 'daddy' out of their girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse. While I agree that telling your spouse is vitally important (I have; she told me she would never accept my infantilism) I think finding someone who will babysit you now and then for a fair hourly rate is very easy in comparison. I'm just not sure whether most members (a) don't want to spend the money, (b) don't know anyone in a healthcare-related field or how to approach them or (c) expect their romantic partners to fill every need they have.

I'm certainly guilty of the latter; if I married Dolly Parton, I'd probably expect her to cook.

So with respect to telling women with whom I've had a relationship, I seem to be batting about .500. With prospective babysitters, on the other hand, I have a 75% success rate. I frankly prefer the 'pay-to-play' scenario because I have far less rejection to deal with.

To all above posters, As a new "mommy" my heart goes out to you all. I had no idea nor can I truly relate to your feelings of anguish. though its honestly an eye opener for me. Im beginning to understand in a way just how hard it can be to live with this desire. let alone the courage it takes to tell someone your in a relationship with. it took my man just about four years to come out to me about this side of him. like many, I did not react well at first. to be perfectly honest, so you get an idea of what its like on the other side of things. I was scared. I was scared that I was not enough for him. I was scared that these desires were more important than me. like many people we get scared of change and things we do not understand. untill four years ago I had no idea this was a thing. call me vanilla but being thrust into all of this was scary. while we have struggled the most important and crucial thing that did get us to where we are today was communication. blunt open communication.

cannamommy said:

To all above posters, As a new "mommy" my heart goes out to you all. I had no idea nor can I truly relate to your feelings of anguish. though its honestly an eye opener for me. Im beginning to understand in a way just how hard it can be to live with this desire. let alone the courage it takes to tell someone your in a relationship with. it took my man just about four years to come out to me about this side of him. like many, I did not react well at first. to be perfectly honest, so you get an idea of what its like on the other side of things. I was scared. I was scared that I was not enough for him. I was scared that these desires were more important than me. like many people we get scared of change and things we do not understand. untill four years ago I had no idea this was a thing. call me vanilla but being thrust into all of this was scary. while we have struggled the most important and crucial thing that did get us to where we are today was communication. blunt open communication.

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You're amazing! This desires is not something we decided to have... I'm not saying it in a bad way. It just part of who we are and if your spouse open himself about this to you is because he really trusts you.

cannamommy said:

To all above posters, As a new "mommy" my heart goes out to you all. I had no idea nor can I truly relate to your feelings of anguish. though its honestly an eye opener for me. Im beginning to understand in a way just how hard it can be to live with this desire. let alone the courage it takes to tell someone your in a relationship with. it took my man just about four years to come out to me about this side of him. like many, I did not react well at first. to be perfectly honest, so you get an idea of what its like on the other side of things. I was scared. I was scared that I was not enough for him. I was scared that these desires were more important than me. like many people we get scared of change and things we do not understand. untill four years ago I had no idea this was a thing. call me vanilla but being thrust into all of this was scary. while we have struggled the most important and crucial thing that did get us to where we are today was communication. blunt open communication.

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Thank you cannamommy for acknowledging our struggle, and for being here to give the "optic" of what it is like to be on the other side. I think that gets lost on us sometimes, we are so desperate to unload this burden that we have carried around forever. You are doing great and I really do applaud your effort.

Your very welcome. I have actually submitted to adisc that there should be.a new forum for the other side of the fence. My heart goes out to all of you and if anyone wants to reach out to me I am here and ready to talk and provide insight to the other side of things. I wish everyone the best and I am here for anyone. But most importantly my little guy cannaboy.

littlemoosey said:

I harbored this shame, humiliation, and embarrassment for over 50 years. It took me 30 years to tell my wife. It was her total acceptance of me that allowed me to shed the shame, humiliation and embarrassment. My life our relationship has never been better. It was the best thing that I ever did. She has said many times that she prefers this me to the old me. I would never go back.

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I totally understand, I was the same. I was to scared to search ABDL or anything to do with this on the net for 38 years of my life. My parents and wife are computer savvy and I was scared they would be able to find out what I searched, plus I truly though I was the only person in the world like this. I spent 38 years very scared. I though I was a freak and I hated myself for this, it was like a sentence I could not understand.
Then one day I had to tell someone I couldn't take it anymore so I told my wife. A weight was lifted. I broke down. She was totally supportive and together we talked and researched it online. That was 9 years ago.
Now she says I'm a happier adult when I'm being a big boy and a cute little guy when I'm in little space.
She understands and supports me. Without her I would have suffered my whole life. Our relationship and life together has never been better, each day is a blessing.
I wish I had told her earlier and not suffered all those years. We are child hood sweet hearts, I kept it from her for 18 years. My biggest regret.
She is my wife, my best friend, my love.
She too has said she prefers this me to the old me.