I've been to several nurseries over the past two decades, and all were worthwhile. However, most required some travel on my part. These women provide a very exclusive, expensive service ... most have spent a small fortune on equipment and furnishings.
Due diligence aside, there's a good deal you can do to ensure that the experience measures up to your expectations. First, be certain that what the lady offers is what you're looking for. For example, if you want to be spanked or breastfed, it would be helpful to know that the sitter will do those things. If she won't, which is perfectly fine, you're free to find someone more to your liking. Don't go expecting any of the sitter's hard limits to be overlooked or overcome during the session. If they are a genuine 'professional' sitter, their limits are their limits. Respect them.
Second. these women are not mind-readers. The better you can communicate what you want, the better your chance of having a memorable time. Better sitters will be able to take charge almost immediately; those with little experience will continually look to you for guidance with respect to activities, what you'd like to do next, etc. I much prefer having someone take charge, so I try to communicate beforehand exactly what I want and even suggest a sequence.
Third, don't play games with the money. Ask her for a total fee in advance and have it ready to hand to her in cash when you walk through the door. I always put the money in an envelope, and I always tried to include a small gratuity. That's not necessary, of course, but if you want to return for another session, a gratuity does tend to 'grease the skids' a bit.
Fourth, be aware of how quickly time passes while you're being cared for. You'll be lucky, for example, to manage two or three diaper changes in a four-hour session. I personally would not ask for a session shorter than four hours or longer than six or seven. My attention span is too short. I have done a few 24-hour stays and found that I was bored beyond belief. I now much prefer a 4-hour session which allows me to regress, enjoy the experience, and still return home the same day. In my view, 24-hour sessions are too expensive, too time-consuming and overly complicated. God made trains for a reason, and I just add the cost of a return train journey as part of the experience.
Finally, realize that if the lady is trading care for money, there's nothing 'so-called' about her professionalism. Caring for an AB or DL is hard, demanding work. Most women wouldn't touch the job with a 98-foot pole. I'm frankly very grateful for the few who are willing, and I certainly understand why they're charging what others would see as exorbitant rates. For that reason, respect her time as a resource. I've tried very hard to always follow through with commitments I've made to sitters, but I understand that there are many out there who will never follow through. Unfortunately, people like you and I help pay the price for the folks who enjoy wasting these ladies' time.
The lady you mention in Nottingham is probably the best-educated AB/DL professional I've run across in the past 35 years. I've never found anyone in Essex, Kent or London to equal her. However, she doesn't do what she does for free. Providing a babysitting session to an AB is a major commitment of time and resources. As the AB, you have to be willing and able to pay to play, so to speak.
a lot of people don’t just have £400 to fork out especially when it’s the other end of the country... has anyone tried these nursery’s even just for an hour? I don’t wanna go all the way from the South West of England to the midlands to find out its terrible. Sounds to me like an awfully expensive therapy session. 