May not last here, too ashamed but can't seem to quit.

Hello.
I have finally admitted to my addiction, (to myself). I am embarrassed by this but I suppose since I have no friends or family that I should feel "safe" discussing this here. I am older, overweight and am not a positive person, but when I wear and use I am at ease. I am a very anti-social person and I do not like interacting with people unless I am wearing diapers, or dressed up. I have not done that yet but I feel like I could interact more easily if I did. I am all alone and do not understand why I continue to spend the money on this habit/fetish

Glad you came here. I am also older and overweight. I've managed to spend 47 of my 57 years in diapers at least part time. It's good to be able to talk with others about this sort of thing. We may not be mainstream, but we aren't so alone in this.

What do you do when you aren't doing diapers?

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Hello Iamcw,
Welcome to the groups

Hi Iamcw,
firstly welcome to the group. Secondly I wear for medical reasons but am also an Adult Baby. People get into the lifestyle for many reasons. We also have times when we feel guilty or ashamed, some then go into the purge and binge mode where they dump all their nappies and baby items and then later on when the feelings return the go out and buy lot's more supplies. Some people repeat this cycle over and over never really accepting themselves and their use of these things. I'm 63 and have been incontinent all my life, aso to my nappies are my normal underwear, but i also have onesies, footed sleepers, soft toys, a dummy (paci), baby bottles etc, I drink formula and eat rusks, i eben have a real life mummy that i visit about once a month.

The point I am trying to make is that it is not accepting you have this habit, but it is about accepting yourself and your needs. Provided that what you are doing doesn't hurt anyone else, then there is no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. Some people use drugs, tobacco and/or alcohol to help with life, you use a nappy.

Now a few questions, apart from wearing nappies, what other hobbies and interests do you have? Are you working? do you ahve a partnerand are they supportive or not? If you need ideas have a look at the top of the page and you will see a link entitled ADISC Intros, Rules and tips. Click on it and have a read there is a lot of useful information in it that is useful to new members.

Then I suggest you find a forum or two that you like, join them and more importantly join in, you will find there is a lot of support on offer and that you are not the only person i the world that weras and uses nappies.

I hope you stay with us.

Again Welcome to the group.

Iamcw,
Of all the forums ive visited or lurked, this is the only one i feel can be helpful to people like us. I feel the shame. Ive looked at myself in the mirror, disgusted by what i see, and unable to reconcile it with how it makes me feel. But listen to the wisdom headed your way. This community is full of people who want to help you become whole and shameless regardless of what that turns out to be. We are here to support you. Welcome to the community.

Hi iamcw

I’m with you on this, the shame feels unbearable sometimes. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. And then there’s the fear of people finding out, it just all seems too stressful to carry on. I too wish I could just stop thinking about it all (I don’t really get to practice anyway) but I’m scared that as much as I try the thoughts would never go away and it would be like a part of me was missing.
Then again it wouldn’t be the first part, denying myself what I want seems to be what I do.

A lot of ab/dl's go through what is called the purge and binge cycle. This happens when they have thoughts or feelings that what they are doing is wrong, shameful or disgusting, so they purge themselves of everything ab/dl related and promise themselves that they will never, ever go back to wearing or using ab/dl items. Unfortunately, that doesn't take the urge or need away, in fact, it starts too build until it reaches a point where they go out and binge on ab/dl products. Recent research has shown that despite what age we start using ab/dl items the psychological need is formed before age 5 and in many cases while we are still in nappies. Obviously this is slightly different for people with medical incontinence that may use ab/dl related tendencies as a means of coping with having o wear nappies.

Neither of you have anything to be ashamed or embarrassed about and certainly not in this community. Whilst we are all different individuals, we all seem to need the comfort and security that nappies and ab related items bring. This is the one place you can be yourself without fear of censure or humiliation.