I don’t think I’ve ever felt so humiliated

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Ihatecrohns

Ihatecrohns

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I don’t think I’ve ever felt so humiliated :(
So I have bowel incontinence and some bladder urgency issues, normally I wear diapers 24/7 but for the past week I’ve been trying to not use them except when I’m somewhere I don’t know where the bathrooms are.

So I’m at the grocery store which isn’t far from my house and I know where the toilets are, normally I get about 30 secs to a mins warning I need to use my bowels so I have time to run.
Over time I’ve also got used to peeing in the diaper, when I was wearing pull ups I’d just wet whenever it was more convenient than finding a bathroom and now that I’m in diapers I just use them for wetting and messing.

Anyway so I’m walking down the aisle and feel like I need to pee nothing bad though until I notice a warm sensation going down my leg and then I notice I’ve just completely wet my pants they were white and there was no hiding it I didn’t even have a jacket to cover it.
I heard a few snickers from people and a young guy called out to his friends “look that lady wet herself” my partner is now annoyed saying I need to be fully diapered 24/7 or else they won’t go places with me and that I should have been more responsible and worn them :(

I guess I was so used to wetting myself that even without a diaper on my brain just said go guess my bladder issues are getting worse :(
I wear them most of the time it’s just I wanted to go out in tighter clothes for once :(
 
Ihatecrohns said:
I don’t think I’ve ever felt so humiliated :(
So I have bowel incontinence and some bladder urgency issues, normally I wear diapers 24/7 but for the past week I’ve been trying to not use them except when I’m somewhere I don’t know where the bathrooms are.

So I’m at the grocery store which isn’t far from my house and I know where the toilets are, normally I get about 30 secs to a mins warning I need to use my bowels so I have time to run.
Over time I’ve also got used to peeing in the diaper, when I was wearing pull ups I’d just wet whenever it was more convenient than finding a bathroom and now that I’m in diapers I just use them for wetting and messing.

Anyway so I’m walking down the aisle and feel like I need to pee nothing bad though until I notice a warm sensation going down my leg and then I notice I’ve just completely wet my pants they were white and there was no hiding it I didn’t even have a jacket to cover it.
I heard a few snickers from people and a young guy called out to his friends “look that lady wet herself” my partner is now annoyed saying I need to be fully diapered 24/7 or else they won’t go places with me and that I should have been more responsible and worn them :(

I guess I was so used to wetting myself that even without a diaper on my brain just said go guess my bladder issues are getting worse :(
I wear them most of the time it’s just I wanted to go out in tighter clothes for once :(
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I’m so sorry that happened to you. I too would love to not wear a diaper from time to time. I often think yeah I can make it to the bathroom in time. When I’ve tried at home I failed and haven’t had the courage to go without diapers outside the house. You may not want this advice but you should wear diapers 24/7.
 
Oh, that's awful!.. You do need to wear at least some protection all the time, or there will be a lot more of such occurrences, you know... Even if it's just a thin pad for only one accident, it's still batter, than... than this...
 
Sorry you had to experience that, but it does drive the point home its time to be diapered 24/7 in a premium taped diaper we all have good days some times a few days in a row when we have a more stable bladder and we feel we can skip the diaper for a bit but the reality is good days can turn bad in seconds so its best to just stay diapered.

30 second warnings is not long enough unless you are at home alone and the bathroom is right beside you even then its not worth the stress of not making it especially with bowel issues.

I would recommend getting some premium taped diapers and get use to wearing them 24/7 we all had to make that decision at one point in time.
 
I'm so sorry about your experience! Nobody should have to have an experience like that. Based on your other posts (and your username) I know that you would give anything to never need a diaper (or any type of protection) again. I hope for your sake that you find something that would enable your wish.


-Ieyasu
 
It's a hard lesson to learn, but you said it yourself. You need to be fully diapered. It seems you have also unfortunately learned what we've been saying all along now. You need to be wearing black. White is the absolute worst color for leaks, but combining that with a pullup you knew wouldn't work was just asking for it.

Try to look at this as just another one of life's lessons. And try not to let it get to you too much. I've been right there myself, as many of us have. Heed your partners advice, and use what you need to use. And as always, heed the advice a thick diaper that has done its job is WAY less noticable than a thin one that had leaked.
 
Thats the good thing about being British. People are too polite to out a person like that.
 
I know it’s time for full diapering I’ve lost control of my bladder and bowels and now I...I need them :( my partners hidden all my pull ups and underwear and replaced my underwear draw with my diapers I know it’s ehats best it’s embarrassing though.
 
I kinda would have liked it. The desperation aspect. How can you get him to give you your pull ups back? Make up something like... desperation wetting? Or like a 'social test?' Do I sound nuts?
 
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I’m not getting my pull ups back because they don’t work and only make the mess worse, I’m in diapers full time now
 
Don't feel embarrassed, embrace it. The more you embrace it and not let other people get you down the better you'll feel and be more confident. Also yes, wear dark colours like black. People honestly won't care if you're wearing a diaper as well, they won't look and if they did they wouldn't think about that or ask.
 
Here is an exercise to increase your confidence in wearing nappies outside:

1) Go to a cafe, order a coffee and something to eat, and go sit where you can see people walking around outside.

2) Observe them doing their things. Can you detect anyone actively looking for a nappy-clad wearer? Can you detect anyone wearing a nappy?

3) Listen to the background noise. Do you think that anyone would detect a faint crinkle over the background noise?

4) Now observe what clothes people are wearing, and imagine them wearing a nappy underneath. Would it show, or would it be hidden?
 
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