Caregiver getting a little tired of changing adult baby diapers

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LamarMarcotte37

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Hi,
My little girl has been in diapers all the time for a while now and though she likes it and I love seeing her cute diapered bottom I am getting tired of changing diapers. When we decided on her wearing diapers full time I didn't realize how often I would be changing her, especially when we learned that she gets rashes easy. I feel like I am constantly doing diaper changes. I am probably just reacting to a recent bout of diarrhea and her nursery smelling bad even with a diaper pail but I am considering potty training. Any coping advice?
 
your saying about potty training does that mean she can't use the toilet or just rather wear diapers? also take soiled diapers to outside trash right away cause plastic bags don't hold smell, the smell seeps through very fast, and wet diapers have only few days before it smell seeps through assuming you're using diaper bags, keeping ever used diaper in one than just trash bag. maybe could she change herself sometimes, you could talk to her about that.
 
That is the reality you also have with real babies. Why full time? Whats wrong with 8 hours a day?


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Time for a talk? Let her know she needs to change herself sometimes?
 
It's a long term commitment to accept one that is ABDL and take care of them and change their diapers, if it gets tiring better to work out a solution than to have the whole relationship get ruined.

I imagine it takes a person that really care about their ABDL and doesn't mind changing diapers to just keep on doing it after 2 or 3 years.

I think that's why parents potty train children, because after so long they grow tired of it and want the children to be able to take care of their own waste by going in the toilet so they dont have to bother with it.
 
I'm not trying to come across as being rude. But your in a committed AB/DL relationship. Changing diapers is going to be a big part in this type of lifestyle, and it is something that you have agreed upon. If she wants to be in diapers all the time then she will have to learn to change her own at times.
Or you could do this depending how big she is and how much she weighs she could wear the goodnite pull ups during the daytime, and just put her in diapers at night.

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I'm not trying to come across as being rude. But your in a committed AB/DL relationship. Changing diapers is going to be a big part in this type of lifestyle, and it is something that you have agreed upon. If she wants to be in diapers all the time then she will have to learn to change her own at times.
Or you could do this depending how big she is and how much she weighs she could wear the goodnite pull ups during the daytime, and just put her in diapers at night.

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Sorry it posted twice
 
I think the thing to look for here is compromise. I think the care that you provide your Adult-Baby Girl is very commendable, many of us on this forum wish we could have a caregiver as dedicated as you. While changing diapers is definitely going to be a big part of a caregiver/baby dynamic, there really is no reason why you as a caregiver can't take a break from this aspect of the dynamic, especially when it's getting to you.

My former Mommy friend changed many of my wet and messy diapers, but even she needed a break sometimes, she would abdicate the changing of a diaper to me at those times and I was more than happy to oblige. It's important in dynamics like these, that both Baby and Mommy/Daddy are happy, so when something starts bothering you, it's time to talk things over and reach a compromise. If constant diaper changes are starting to take their toll on you, simply talk things over with your baby girl and see if she can't change her own diapers when you need a little break. If she is truly appreciative of you and the care you provide, she'll happily change her own diapers from time to time, I'm sure of it.
 
What would potty training do? She's a grown adult, if she's incontinent I doubt that's gonna help. Also maybe just ask her to changer herself sometimes. But if you ever have a real child you'll be doing the same.
 
MailCat581 said:
Joshie's mom and his Auntie Lisa take really good care of me and him both. I sometimes change my own diaper to give them a break; but more times than not they'll change it for me. They're used to doing it for Joshie anyway with him being special needs.

Yeah, I'm just saying some people are more compassionate to serving needs (or even wants) of other people and wouldn't mind doing it long term, whereas some people like the OP would get tired after a while.

I think that's key with relationships with people like us, we all like diapers (for various reasons), and once they are used they need to be changed.

People should evaluate what they want in a relationship and know what they are agreeing to and shouldn't agree to something they will eventually have a problem with.
 
working with farm animals is way more work, and the people who do it love the lifestyle and are committed. nothing gross will stop them.
 
I'm also wondering why do you have to do ever single diaper change? Adult babies are still 50% adults. So then why do you have to do 100% of the changes? And yeah, the toilet is still always an option for every voluntary AB when they want it to be.
 
xionghaizi said:
working with farm animals is way more work, and the people who do it love the lifestyle and are committed. nothing gross will stop them.

This. Gourd. This a thousand times. :laugh:

You know you've gotten in deep when some critter you're housing has a weird poo and you run online to ask a bunch of other farming people if they know why and how to take care of it or IS IT GONNA DIE?! And then you find out they've just eaten a weed that disagreed with their tummy and they're fine and you over-reacted. :laugh:

My niece kept insisting that she wanted a pig for a pet and that she would come to our house and take care of it. We got her to go clean the neighbor lady's horse barn and she came back and said "I don't want a pig. That was terrible! And she said a pig is WORSE." :laugh:

I'm going to echo the advice you got earlier in the thread though, I think it might be time to just sit down and have a talk with your little one about the changing. :3 Maybe she would like having 'big girl pullups' sometimes so she could change herself?
 
I really really disagree with the "just deal with it" answers. This is not a life or death situation.

You're both consenting adults who deserve to be happy. A big space talk is definitely in order. If your little insists on being in diapers full time, it's not unfair of you to ask her to change herself once in a while. Heck maybe you can incorporate it into the dynamic by rewarding her for being a big girl and cleaning after herself. Same would apply to potty training. Maybe extra rewards for helping taking out the trash like a well behaved toddler trying to help.

You shouldn't have to just cope or "deal with it" as it may lead to unnecessary friction. Communication is key.
 
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I really like the "farm animal" analogy so I'm going to suggest that you just let her graze awhile out in the back yard naked....like a farm animal. Okay....just kidding. You need to assess as to how you feel and how long you want to continue this relationship. Then you both need to have a sit down talk. If she's getting rashes, she needs a break from diapers. One can wear cloth diapers and not use them for their intended purposes. You're still diapered but dry and clean. They're easy to un-pin when one needs to use the toilet.

The other solution is to have her change her own diapers sometimes, especially if she's messy.
 
Having her not be in diapers all the time could be a good solution, but it sounds like both of you are reluctant to do that. There are quite a few alternative solutions:
  • She's in diapers all the time, but only uses them part of the time.
  • She's in diapers all the time, but only uses them for wetting.
  • She changes herself some of the time.
  • She's diapered all the time except for one or more days throughout the week to give you a break (24/6?).
Regardless of what sounds appealing, I second Sheepies' advice—big space communication is needed.
 
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Hi, If she is medically incontinent then it's just a fact of life. however of her wearing nappies (diapers) is something she wants to do and wants to use them totally then there is a possible solution. Whilst not potty training as such, what you could possibly try is:-

She is allowed to wet her nappies which you will change. If she needs to pass solid matter, then she asks "to go potty", you take her into the bathroom, take off her nappy and help position her on the toilet. then depending on what you want to do, you can stay and watch her and then clean her up and put her back in a nappy afterwards, or you can leave the bathroom until she announces she is finished and then you go back in, clean her up and put her nappy back on.
 
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LamarMarcotte37 said:
Hi,
My little girl has been in diapers all the time for a while now and though she likes it and I love seeing her cute diapered bottom I am getting tired of changing diapers. When we decided on her wearing diapers full time I didn't realize how often I would be changing her, especially when we learned that she gets rashes easy. I feel like I am constantly doing diaper changes. I am probably just reacting to a recent bout of diarrhea and her nursery smelling bad even with a diaper pail but I am considering potty training. Any coping advice?

  1. Decide what you want. Is it changing her less frequently? Not changing messy diapers? Limiting diaper time to weekends? Figure that out.
  2. Talk to her, outside of your big/little RP. Explain what the issue is. Propose the limits you would be more comfortable with. Hopefully she's fine with them. If she's unhappy, reassure her that you still care, you just want things to be sustainable long-term, and the current situation isn't. Remember, you're aiming for a happy, healthy, long-term relationship. "Coping" with something that will grate on you, long-term, is not helpful.
  3. Go from there.
 
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LamarMarcotte37 said:
Hi,
My little girl has been in diapers all the time for a while now and though she likes it and I love seeing her cute diapered bottom I am getting tired of changing diapers. When we decided on her wearing diapers full time I didn't realize how often I would be changing her, especially when we learned that she gets rashes easy. I feel like I am constantly doing diaper changes. I am probably just reacting to a recent bout of diarrhea and her nursery smelling bad even with a diaper pail but I am considering potty training. Any coping advice?

Just tell her she needs to start changing her own, she is an adult.
 
Sounds like some boundaries need to be set. A relationship is about communication. Sometimes you gotta go outta little space once in a while. As fun as it can be to go 247 if boundaries are not set and set in stone expect it the rest of your life. Bring your little one to do something nice, hold her tight and stay calm and matter of fact about it and mabey offer a treat system for when she can "help daddy" or other encouragement best of luck.
 
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