Babybill, I am a DL that struggles with nocturnal incontenance, and have been a YP for many years. I've, in the past, struggled with this topic a LOT! I was a DL WAY longer than a bed wetter, so while that fact makes the topic a bit easier now, it didn't always. Also, wearing for need and desire are two very separate motivations in my mind. And both are present... Wearing for desire often happens in addition to my night time needs.
So, is the act of wearing a door a sin? This is the bottom line, there is absolutely nothing with with wearing a diaper. There is no biblical law, no scripture, no mandate that would cause anyone to think wearing a diaper in and of itself is wrong for any reason.
That said, my biggest struggle has not been the idea of wearing a diaper, but rather, what wearing a diaper sometimes makes me want to do... Which leads me to my second point... Is masturbation a sin? This topic is highly debated. There are points on both sides, though I'll shut down anyone who tries to say yes based Genesis 38:9 with Omar spilling his seed. His sin had nothing to do with spirm on the ground and everything to do with him rejecting the law, and therefore God, by trying to prevent his dead brother's wife from bearing a child. For him, it was a heart issue. Without going too deep, I've come to the conclusion that masturbation, in and of itself is not a sin, otherwise walking up with semin in your underwear (or padding) would also be a sin, for which, you typically have no control... Try 6 months after your wife's c section with no intercourse, and working hard to not masturbate... there is no control in your sleep! What IS a sin, without question is, where is your heart and mind at during the act of masturbation? Lustful thoughts? Yes, that would be sin, Matt 5:28... It is, IMHO, purely a heart and a mind issue.
So now, I come full circle, back to your question. Can we reconcile our AB/DL activities, with also trying to love and obey God? I think everyone is going to have a different answer, because everyone's experience and motivations are different. This is where I've felt the need to make changes to how I engage in this part of my life. But before I go down this road, please don't interpret the following as my laying a path I believe others must follow... This is simply my personal journey and conclusions I've come to.
1. Be mastered by nothing...
1 Corinthians 6:12, "All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything." There have been times that my AB have mastered me, dominating my thoughts and time. I try hard to keep this in check. Any time I've noticed it's out of check, I work to refocus and get my priorities straight.
2. Lust. Matthew 5:28 ... I'd be lying if I said DL was not a sexual part of my life. I'd be lying if I said I've never caught myself in lustful positions. I do try hard to keep this in check. I'm not always successful. My wife doesn't love that I wear, but prefers it to a wet bed. That said, she will sometimes bring me fulfillment while I'm wearing, mostly early morning "snuggling" from behind, but sometimes in other ways. I try hard to keep my diaper "play" and satisfaction more centered around that kind of activity, which genuinely lacks lust. This IS something I still struggle with sometimes though.
3. Don't cause others to stumble, Romans 14:13-23... This is not something I feel like I struggle with, but it is something I keep in mind. This motivates me to generally not be public with this party of my life. That coupled with 1 Thessalonians 5:22, I'd rather avoid the appearance of evil. The general population simply is no understanding of ABDL'ism. Does that mean I feel the need to hide it? Aside from my three daughters under 10, no! I simply don't feel the need to openly share anything medical or sexual with anyone outside of my marage or very close friends.
4. Trusting wholly in God to provide my every need. There are way too many passages needed to fully substantiate this position of mine, but I'll put here the strongest two: Philippians 4:6-8 "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." And Exodus 20:3, No other God's. Honestly, this is the point that I struggle with the most. After much introspection and digging through my past, trying to uncover the why's that make this part of my life me, I've come to the conclusion that my DL tendencies very much center around a coping mechanism from pre pubescence that became linked to sexual desire, more through accident than anything else... That's a huge story all by itself, perhaps I'll share some day... Here's the point — and by itself it may be week, but it's honestly where I'm at, so I'll share — I feel that when I'm stressed, sad, or just depressed, I often turn to diapers for comfort... Instead of God. This is a hard reality that I'm still trying to work though. At this point, my need at night has honestly been the permissiveness I've been leveraging to deal with this topic. At this point I feel confident that this and the other points are currently in check.
All in all, I still struggle, but I have come to accept this part of me and where I'm currently at in my walk with Christ.
I know this is a crazy long post, but I hope it has helped in some small way!
Good bless! And keep being a light!