General Population Accaptance of ABDL

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BoyAwakened

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  1. Diaper Lover
I'm very curious as to what the members on here feel that the proportionality of the average persons acceptance level of ABDL is in society. In other words, what portion of the population would fall into the following categories:

1. Utter disgust to the point of phobia/hate
2. Acceptance so far as to keep a friend or significant other but never expect them to act out your ab or dl side around them
3. Acceptance to the point of totally being fine hanging out with a diapered friend/partner
4. Open minded enough to try it

I know that it's a spectrum, not a hard line, but just to simplify, these are the categories I think of. Are there any members on here who have come out to multiple people that might have an idea?

I suppose it might differ by region. I live in a fairly conservative place, so I think acceptance would be lower. I've only ever told my wife and my therapist. My wife falls into camp #2. I have no idea where most people are, I suppose somewhere around category 2?

By the way, I'm new here, so please let me know if I break any etiquette or rules!

I'm very interested in any observations, feelings or opinions, so please share!

I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling errors! I only ever visit the site by phone!

RG

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I’ve only told my wife. She was very uncomfortable with diapers in till she realized I was dealing with incontinence. At that point she became much more accepting. I would think most of the population would be around 2.
 
I think most people would be disgusted by the idea until they find out their son or daughter enjoys wearing diapers. People don't have to be accepting when it doesn't touch them, but things can change when they discover a family member is into it. My wife was very accepting of me, but she was a very accepting person and valued the fact that all people should be treated equally.

Still, most of the general public won't accept AB/DLs because they don't understand that people can have very real desires to want to wear diapers. We tend to understand the things we experience ourselves.
 
dogboy said:
I think most people would be disgusted by the idea until they find out their son or daughter enjoys wearing diapers. People don't have to be accepting when it doesn't touch them, but things can change when they discover a family member is into it.

We tend to understand the things we experience ourselves.

I agree entirely. This experience would probably move people from group 1 to group 2. Somehow I think with or without these first hand experiences, most people are probably in the first two groups. It's probably a sad minority in the last two. Maybe in time, if it touches enough people personally, the general perception will change.

RG

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I think most of the population would fall under #1. I think a lot of people associate it with being a pedophile in some way. I hope this isn’t the case, but as with anything outside the norm, seems like people are disgusted with odd or unusual behavior. I think as time goes on, it would fall more into the #2 category, people are more like whatever, but wouldn’t participate.
 
Although you might pessimistically expect everyone to be #1 or 2, my experience of sharing with three partners has been different: 3, 3 & 4. One of the 3's later converted into a 4. None of them said they found it disgusting, nor made any association with paedophilia (although I am almost purely DL rather than AB). They all understood that there are many aspects to DL enjoyment from the erotic to the innocently playful, even if they did not enjoy those particular aspects themselves. Each time I've been looking for the catch but there hasn't been one, maybe through pure luck, maybe because of the way I've introduced the idea. One, who had no prior experience or DL desires, became semi-DL herself, and would sometimes wear with or without me being involved. I could never have anticipated the positive reactions but some things just work out right.
 
Paxe said:
Although you might pessimistically expect everyone to be #1 or 2, my experience of sharing with three partners has been different: 3, 3 & 4. One of the 3's later converted into a 4. None of them said they found it disgusting

One, who had no prior experience or DL desires, became semi-DL herself, and would sometimes wear with or without me being involved. I could never have anticipated the positive reactions but some things just work out right.

Wow, that is positive! Definitely makes me feel a bit more optimistic! I wonder if it did have something to do with how you brought it up and explained it. I'm betting that played some part in the way they reacted and accepted it. Maybe a big part.

RG

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Yes I think the introduction has gone pretty well each time. E.g. I've thrown wearing nappies into the mix during a lively discussion about fun and exciting things to do and emphasised the dressing-up aspect. Once the initial surprise is over, we've had a good giggle about it and it no longer seems quite so crazy, we can talk about the other aspects such as convenience and comfort without it being awkward or shameful. By launching into it as a very positive and entertaining pastime, and by being completely unashamed and uninhibited about my DL interest, I think some of the old stereotypes get left far behind and I can paint a new picture of what DL is like.

This brings me to the idea of category 0 - people who have never actually thought about ABDL topics and have no stereotype images or opinions until newly introduced.
 
ive came out to most of my friends and a couple so's over the years. the results were nearly all in the 2-3 range. but those were people who knew me.

another important thing to look at in this conversation is region. I.E. in the pacific NW it would fly way better than the deep south.

Im in the southeast (NC-USA). to a random stranger, i would say its probably like 25-33% #1. then about 50-60% #2. with a slimmer 15-25% #3. and youd be hard pressed at 5-15% #4.

Now if someone really knows you and y'all are open and friendly with one another you can improve the odds of 1-3 significantly. but #4 would probably require closer ties or some coercion to gain any impact.

Alcohol is another factor, but is a total wildcard.
 
I'm incontinent and have to wear nappies for this reason, I'm only looking at this part of the website out of curiosity. I would consider myself a 2 or 3 on this but without wanting to offend anyone anyone I can't understand why anyone I just can't understand why anyone would do it. I find having to wear nappies completely degrading and as a 20 year old university student it puts a lot of limits on the things I can and can't do. I am humiliated on an almost daily basis by wetting myself in front of others. I know from reading a few threads that not everyone uses nappies in public but I just can't for the life of me understand why you'd wear if you didn't have to even though I don't have a problem with it and think people should be able to do what they want as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.
 
I'm not sure how gen pop would put up with AB/DL's, I've never been to prison. I don't even know how you'd even be able to act out on or satisfy those desires in prison.
 
JackT97 said:
I'm incontinent and have to wear nappies for this reason, I'm only looking at this part of the website out of curiosity. I would consider myself a 2 or 3 on this but without wanting to offend anyone anyone I can't understand why anyone I just can't understand why anyone would do it. I find having to wear nappies completely degrading and as a 20 year old university student it puts a lot of limits on the things I can and can't do. I am humiliated on an almost daily basis by wetting myself in front of others. I know from reading a few threads that not everyone uses nappies in public but I just can't for the life of me understand why you'd wear if you didn't have to even though I don't have a problem with it and think people should be able to do what they want as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.

I can't speak for anyone else but I'm not offended. It's a weird urge and I don't know why I want it. I've been dealing with it a long time. I do wear and wet in public and it's all part of the mysterious appeal. I think I'd find it less enjoyable if I needed them but I doubt it would squelch it entirely. I didn't ask for this desire. I tried to rid myself of it unsuccessfully for years. Learning to love it was far more effective.

To the OP's question: I think most would fall into category 2 or better but would likely require some push to get there, such as knowing another ABDL well enough to seriously evaluate something that would like be unappealing.
 
RGordon45 said:
I'm very curious as to what the members on here feel that the proportionality of the average persons acceptance level of ABDL is in society. In other words, what portion of the population would fall into the following categories:

1. Utter disgust to the point of phobia/hate
2. Acceptance so far as to keep a friend or significant other but never expect them to act out your ab or dl side around them
3. Acceptance to the point of totally being fine hanging out with a diapered friend/partner
4. Open minded enough to try it

I think a real component to this question that should be discussed is how people actually feel independently and how they might feel/react collectively in a larger group.

I guess I am an optimist, but I think many people (even perhaps most people) if they were exposed to you being ABDL in a respectful way (meaning that you are not flaunting your interest), they would not be disgusted with you if this occurred on a one-on-one situation. Rather, they may actually be curious and ask you about it. Perhaps they may actually be understanding to some extent.

I believe that there are more people than we think that have some form of feelings of wanting to be little themselves at times, but would never admit to it. Yet, because it was taught to them since they were in diapers that they should grow up and be a "big boy" or "big girl", the desire to remain as a little child was taught as something that was wrong. --But that doesn't mean that inwardly they may not still feel a connection with being little. That they may still have a reflection and desire for the time when they did not have all the responsibilities of an adult, and their world was filled with soft things and being loved just because of being a baby.

--If you don't believe me, then why do so many adults still admit to having stuffed animals or other objects from their childhood? Just google it.

Now, if the circumstances are that people are exposed to your being ABDL while in a group setting, I think the response would be more of your #1, with varying ranges of courtesy towards you, but they would express feelings of disgust or disagreement with it.

Why would that be so? Well, that is pretty basic psychology in that people want to be accepted by others. So... if they think that others would be disgusted by this, most often they are going to say and act accordingly in order to be accepted by the group. They were taught by their parents and everyone around them that we are supposed to be "big boys and girls", so that if you are not doing so, then people think this is wrong. Even if they themselves don't have a disgust towards it, or even a real interest in it, there is a threat that if they don't feel against it, that they might themselves be ostracized. So, their reactions are more likely going to be negative, rather than supportive or even interested, just because of the perceived notion that others think this is disgusting, so it must be disgusting.

Check out this link that shows just how powerful the desire to be part of the norm may be when you are in a group, even if it doesn't make any sense!

[video=youtube_share;BgRoiTWkBHU]https://youtu.be/BgRoiTWkBHU[/video]

In my heart I truly believe that the desires for being ABDL or little are not that uncommon. Perhaps to the extent that we act upon these desires by actually wearing diapers and even privately acting out on other ABDL desires such as using a paci and wearing baby clothes, that is uncommon --but the association to our childhood is likely not that uncommon. Rather, I would propose that it is the stigma that is associated with what is commonly taught and conformity to the crowd that causes most people to otherwise react as the OP suggested as in response #1.

:educate: So, if this has any merit of truth, what does it mean? Well, I would suggest that the answer to ABDLism being more accepted is found in the one on one and individual understanding of this. As more people, especially celebrities or otherwise well-known and respected individuals share their ABDL interests and it becomes more commonly known, there is less stigma against it.

I have to think this is similar to the situation of being LGBT. As more and more individuals in society have shared that they are gay or lesbian, the stigma against those who are has greatly decreased. --Not that many years ago, many people who were not actually against being LGBT still stood with those who were, simply to conform to the group. It was likely taught to them by their parents, by the government by its laws, by religions, and in the media that this was wrong. --Hence, they were not going to actually be considerate of those who were gay or lesbian, as they would be afraid of being seen as sympathizers. And many who were gay and lesbian inside would never admit it, because of the fear of being ostracized and instead may have actually joined in the criticism of such, just to make sure their own interests of being so were not discovered.

My hope is that as we progress as a society and future generations that the psychological power of conformity to the group is lessened. That individuals are able to be more freely the individuals that they are.

I know we are far from this. I hope this is not just a pipe dream, but that it may become a reality someday. That eventually the benefits of each of us being our individual selves may become so "popular" that the conformity of the group ends up being such that the pressure is to allow people to be who they are. That those who make fun of others for being different end up being the ones ostracized, as the normal becomes acceptance rather than rejection of those who are different.

:detective3 This may never in reality happen, but I can at least hope that humanity moves closer towards this.:hug:
 
90% utter hatred/disgust. :(

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TeddyBearCowboy said:
I think a real component to this question that should be discussed is how people actually feel independently and how they might feel/react collectively in a larger group.

I guess I am an optimist, but I think many people (even perhaps most people) if they were exposed to you being ABDL in a respectful way (meaning that you are not flaunting your interest), they would not be disgusted with you if this occurred on a one-on-one situation. Rather, they may actually be curious and ask you about it. Perhaps they may actually be understanding to some extent.

I believe that there are more people than we think that have some form of feelings of wanting to be little themselves at times, but would never admit to it. Yet, because it was taught to them since they were in diapers that they should grow up and be a "big boy" or "big girl", the desire to remain as a little child was taught as something that was wrong. --But that doesn't mean that inwardly they may not still feel a connection with being little. That they may still have a reflection and desire for the time when they did not have all the responsibilities of an adult, and their world was filled with soft things and being loved just because of being a baby.

--If you don't believe me, then why do so many adults still admit to having stuffed animals or other objects from their childhood? Just google it.

Now, if the circumstances are that people are exposed to your being ABDL while in a group setting, I think the response would be more of your #1, with varying ranges of courtesy towards you, but they would express feelings of disgust or disagreement with it.

Why would that be so? Well, that is pretty basic psychology in that people want to be accepted by others. So... if they think that others would be disgusted by this, most often they are going to say and act accordingly in order to be accepted by the group. They were taught by their parents and everyone around them that we are supposed to be "big boys and girls", so that if you are not doing so, then people think this is wrong. Even if they themselves don't have a disgust towards it, or even a real interest in it, there is a threat that if they don't feel against it, that they might themselves be ostracized. So, their reactions are more likely going to be negative, rather than supportive or even interested, just because of the perceived notion that others think this is disgusting, so it must be disgusting.

Check out this link that shows just how powerful the desire to be part of the norm may be when you are in a group, even if it doesn't make any sense!

[video=youtube_share;BgRoiTWkBHU]https://youtu.be/BgRoiTWkBHU[/video]

In my heart I truly believe that the desires for being ABDL or little are not that uncommon. Perhaps to the extent that we act upon these desires by actually wearing diapers and even privately acting out on other ABDL desires such as using a paci and wearing baby clothes, that is uncommon --but the association to our childhood is likely not that uncommon. Rather, I would propose that it is the stigma that is associated with what is commonly taught and conformity to the crowd that causes most people to otherwise react as the OP suggested as in response #1.

:educate: So, if this has any merit of truth, what does it mean? Well, I would suggest that the answer to ABDLism being more accepted is found in the one on one and individual understanding of this. As more people, especially celebrities or otherwise well-known and respected individuals share their ABDL interests and it becomes more commonly known, there is less stigma against it.

I have to think this is similar to the situation of being LGBT. As more and more individuals in society have shared that they are gay or lesbian, the stigma against those who are has greatly decreased. --Not that many years ago, many people who were not actually against being LGBT still stood with those who were, simply to conform to the group. It was likely taught to them by their parents, by the government by its laws, by religions, and in the media that this was wrong. --Hence, they were not going to actually be considerate of those who were gay or lesbian, as they would be afraid of being seen as sympathizers. And many who were gay and lesbian inside would never admit it, because of the fear of being ostracized and instead may have actually joined in the criticism of such, just to make sure their own interests of being so were not discovered.

My hope is that as we progress as a society and future generations that the psychological power of conformity to the group is lessened. That individuals are able to be more freely the individuals that they are.

I know we are far from this. I hope this is not just a pipe dream, but that it may become a reality someday. That eventually the benefits of each of us being our individual selves may become so "popular" that the conformity of the group ends up being such that the pressure is to allow people to be who they are. That those who make fun of others for being different end up being the ones ostracized, as the normal becomes acceptance rather than rejection of those who are different.

:detective3 This may never in reality happen, but I can at least hope that humanity moves closer towards this.:hug:
That's interesting, I hadn't thought about the difference between the inner feeling of the individual and the unconscious pressure to conform. That adds a whole new dynamic! If you consider the question from both perspectives, the results would be very different. Somehow I was hoping for some simple answer, but I guess it's a bit more complicated, as peoples feelings can be complicated.

Of course I would like to hear that people are overall somewhat accepting. After all, we all want to be accepted. When I asked the question, I was kind of thinking: what are the odds today of a single ABDL on the market being able to find a partner from the general popluation that would fall into group 3 or 4. Or, if someone was selected from the general population, what are the odds they would fall into each group. I was trying to use that as a barometer of acceptance in my head, but maybe that doesn't really work.

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extremecomfy said:
90% utter hatred/disgust. :(

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I do believe the reality is still quite a bit more optimistic than that! Unless you're writing in from North Korea!! :)

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I'd gauge it as more like 50-60% of society is accepting only as much as not caring or remaining a friend of an dl but never engaging in it. Another 20-25% still completely misunderstand who we are and hate us every bit as they hate gays or immigrants (and thry likely always will hate anything different than them) The remaining 15-30% is open to it enough to be with a dl or try diapers themselves.

However, from the 50-60% majority, a good and proper explanation of who we are is often enough to sway their feelings towards us to put thrm in the 15-30% percentile. I also believe those numbers are continuing to change in our favor the more we are able to explain it and less the mainstream media portrays us as pedophiles and sex crazed lunatics.
 
TeddyBearCowboy said:
I think a real component to this question that should be discussed is how people actually feel independently and how they might feel/react collectively in a larger group.

I agree with this. Individually, people are often much more accepting than in larger groups.

I have come across a few mainstream articles about ABDLs, and the occasional comedian that brings it up. The comedians get a laugh because the popular opinion is that it is disgusting, perverted and pedophilic, and even if it's not, that's what everyone is expected to agree with.
https://youtu.be/SvmKanOEAXE?t=322

The mainstream articles generally try to be at least, open, to the concept, but the telling part is the comments underneath. Some people are "Whatever floats your boat" but many are "F*CKING PEDOPHILES OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP AND SHOT".

In real life, I told my (then) wife that I wanted to wear, and she just looked at me with that "You'll get a clip round your ear if you continue with that conversation" look. She used it against me in the divorce.

I have also got the most magnificently accepting girlfriend right now who was totally okay with it all, and has even worn for me on rare occasion (taking it upon herself to surprise me!). What a keeper!

So in summary, a lot of 1), a lot of 2), some 3) and the rare 4). It seems to me that if a woman is madly in love with a guy, she will almost unthinkingly do what he does, possibly for his acceptance, approval, love, whatever, and seem to be really into it. But she revert to type the moment she falls out of love with him. Just my observation.

And as a separate thought that just popped into my head - I have heard that holding pee for a long time can cause some seriously yummy feelings for women (the peegasm), and many women wet their knickers. But here's the kicker - it is a taboo subject that almost no women talk about. Individually, they are doing this stuff, but collectively, no one can talk about it. Go figure.
 
I've always had the belief that 99% of people would just as easily shoot you dead if they found out.
So I just don't tell anyone outside of the ab/dl sphere of influence.
I wouldn't even trust my parents, though they don't suspect, I have been caught a few times over my life.
 
My own experience has Ben that as soon as you drop the word "incontinence" into the conversation the "average" US citizen stops for all of two seconds as they try to define the turm in there head. And then their cool with it..
 
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