My Baby Self As Part Of My Identity

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kik91

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
Hey guys.

So, I am writing here, sitting in my desk with a wet diaper. Heavily wet diaper. Hehe. Anyway, as you know, I've been having a tough week and many of you, from Poofybutt to tiny to others, have shed some light on me. Right now, I feel fine, so I hope this post is not the result of an euphoria induced state of mine haha.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the past couple of weeks. As many of you know, I talked about my ABDL side with my family, and we came to so many conclusion that are super cool. Their support and love mean everything to me, and the knowledge that I can be a baby with them and wear diapers makes me feel so loved.

But also, this past week, I regressed, badly. I had a wet diaper and walked to my parents and asked to sleep with them because I felt scared. I ended up next to my dad, sucking my thumb. I woke up next to him and my diaper was even wetter and I slipped my thumb again. It felt nice, guys.

Then, back in my bed, I started thinking about all of this. About how my Baby Self makes me feel better when I'm down. I know many people recur to regression when they're stressed, and it helps them.

But I really want to make my Baby Self part of my daily self. Is such a thing possible? I don't know.

All I know is that for one night I was a little kid and loved it. All I know is that I was watching a movie with my sister and I ended up hugging a plushy, my diaper crinkling. It made me happy. I want to feel like that.

My whole life has been darkness, but the Baby Self brings out the light. I want to make it as present as possible. I went through depression, to self harm, to psych wards, to abuse, to more psych wards to ECT and more on. I need something to hold on to.

I want to be a baby, and I know it's impossible, but maybe I can make my Baby Self more present as I live on. I know my friends wouldn't mind, nor would my cousins, or any one else. Because they love me.

And don't get me wrong. I also want my adult life. I like it, mostly. I have ambitions and I can handle real-life problems. I'm not unable to. I just want to make fuse both sides into one coherent self. I don't want to be an adult at times, and a baby at times. Is it possible to have both identities fused?

So, maybe start by sucking my thumb in public, or wearing diapers more often even in public setting. Maybe I can see if my family would be okay to being more involved. I don't know.

I know I have a professional life ahead, I want to be a great writer, and I already have won an award. So yeah, this is tough.

But I want it guys.
 
I'm so glad that being a baby helps you feel good. I too feel fantastic when being a baby and feel that very strong pull towards it. I also feel the pull towards wanting more, which is unusual for me; I'm usually content with the status quo. As long as you have supportive friends and family, I'd say go for it. I assume you mean wearing diapers under clothes? What would sucking your thumb in public do for you? Do you hope people on the street will accept you as a baby? I doubt that will go well in general. If it's just for comfort outside the home, I suppose it could work, but be prepared for occasional nasty comments (or even violence,) especially if other aspects of your dress say "adult baby."
 
teddytugger said:
I'm so glad that being a baby helps you feel good. I too feel fantastic when being a baby and feel that very strong pull towards it. I also feel the pull towards wanting more, which is unusual for me; I'm usually content with the status quo. As long as you have supportive friends and family, I'd say go for it. I assume you mean wearing diapers under clothes? What would sucking your thumb in public do for you? Do you hope people on the street will accept you as a baby? I doubt that will go well in general. If it's just for comfort outside the home, I suppose it could work, but be prepared for occasional nasty comments (or even violence,) especially if other aspects of your dress say "adult baby."

Yeah, diapers under my clothes of course! I don't know, sometimes I feel the urge of sucking my thumb and I hold back. I don't want that anymore! I know people outside won't understand and it can get harsh, from nasty comments to other things, and I want to slowly prepare for it. I know it's hard to understand but I want to embrace this side of me because it helps me. Thanks for the comment!
 
I can understand where you're coming from.

When I'm feeling little, I feel good. Really good. And I sometimes wish I could spread that good feeling with someone, anyone. I want this part of me to be able to shine.

But, it also conflicts with the feeling that I either can't or shouldn't do it. It feels like something that I should keep to myself. The simple love of games, of plushies, and the comfort of a fresh diaper — all things something tells me to keep hidden. Aside from the games, no one really knows anything about this side of me. It's a little different with my case — my "little age" ranges a little older (but, like me at the actual age is not properly potty trained) — but I still wish sometimes I could share with someone.

Maybe one day. You give me a little hope.
 
I can also totally relate to this feeling A and the safety and security it brings - I often find it hard not to regress back - especially if I get stressed while out

For me my “adult chew toy necklace” is invaluable as a thumb substitute - it does the same thing but doesn’t look so weird to the haters maybe
ff4389bb4f7051a27bf65f49cbb3dc4c.jpg



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I suggest against it... And this is mostly due to personal experience and this could be not applicable to you..

Little sides, the inner baby, whatever you want to call it, tend to be more sensitive. In my case my little side is loving. It wants nothing but love and gives nothing but love. It doesn't understand true anger or hate... And exposing it to the public is a bad idea. From what I get from many and some of this community is that trying to incorporate too many little things into a strictly adult setting doesn't go well. You risk exposing a gentle loving piece of your being to a cruel world who have no care for how much they hurt a delicate peace of you. Diapers you could do, if hidden and you avoid cute ones. Most will write it off if your waist slips down as a bladder control issue. If they see cute designs... That's a big red flag. And it will happen. The laws of probability ensure your waistline will slip eventually.

But the major problem here is thumb sucking. That... Can't be explained as a medical need, and it can't be as easily hidden. If discovered, it could prove problematic for you. Why would employers want a thumb sucking person with a possibly embarrassing medical need over anyone else with less possible risk to the company. That's not necessarily a fair view, but it might become the view of your workplace.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to be problematic or depressing, but socially or work related... Both cause problems with being caught. Sadly... That part just isn't received very well publicly. You can work it into your life in smaller more subtle ways though. Carry some calming token with you. Like a little teddy in a purse or briefcase, etc. Something small that you can fidget with in your pocket. But in the end, the pull of it just sadly isn't suited for the public at this time.
 
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CuriousOne said:
I suggest against it... And this is mostly due to personal experience and this could be not applicable to you..

Little sides, the inner baby, whatever you want to call it, tend to be more sensitive. In my case my little side is loving. It wants nothing but love and gives nothing but love. It doesn't understand true anger or hate... And exposing it to the public is a bad idea. From what I get from many and some of this community is that trying to incorporate too many little things into a strictly adult setting doesn't go well. You risk exposing a gentle loving piece of your being to a cruel world who have no care for how much they hurt a delicate peace of you. Diapers you could do, if hidden and you avoid cute ones. Most will write it off if your waist slips down as a bladder control issue. If they see cute designs... That's a big red flag. And it will happen. The laws of probability ensure your waistline will slip eventually.

But the major problem here is thumb sucking. That... Can't be explained as a medical need, and it can't be as easily hidden. If discovered, it could prove problematic for you. Why would employers want a thumb sucking person with a possibly embarrassing medical need over anyone else with less possible risk to the company. That's not necessarily a fair view, but it might become the view of your workplace.

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to be problematic or depressing, but socially or work related... Both cause problems with being caught. Sadly... That part just isn't received very well publicly. You can work it into your life in smaller more subtle ways though. Carry some calming token with you. Like a little teddy in a purse or briefcase, etc. Something small that you can fidget with in your pocket. But in the end, the pull of it just sadly isn't suited for the public at this time.

Thanks for your view point. It's pretty valid. I have been thinking about it, and yeah, it can be problematic. Incorporating my baby side to my adult life is something that I really want to do, but as you said, I have to consider every factor and see what I can and can't do on certain places. Thanks for your input!
 
I am sorry to deliver such a sad opinion, and I know it hurts. I am all to familiar with the desire for your little side to be allowed more openly, and I know it hurts. Depending on a your work environment, you could make small gesture. Make a drawing while in little mode and put it on a desk at work for example, claiming it's a drawing made by a kid or a loved nephew or neice. (If you are confident you won't be caught out and the no one at work knows your family and talks to them.

Tiny gestures like that might help to some degree.
 
Being permanently out of the workforce due to age and disability, I am a bit more free to be myself, but I still keep my Adult Baby side hidden.
The issue is safety, and not beeing seen as too eccentric.
 
I guess it is just one of those scenarios for me where being a girl is a lot of help.

I am (as I've said before) a lifestyle little. I spend nearly all time not working as a little. I don't use diapers and I consider myself more of a 3-4 year old. The only thing I use that is younger is I am addicted to my NUK sippy cups.

There are many things that I do outside the house including at work that are little. I watch cartoons on my phone at work during lunch and I keep a little teddy bear on my desk at work that I hold and play with if I start to stress at work.

When we are just out, I wear a lot of clothes that you would see a toddler in. Cute pink, lavender and aqua capris and shirts with lace, ribbons and some with accents of cartoon characters on them. With bows in my hair. No one has ever said a word to me. In fact this past Saturday we went to a minor league baseball game and my hubby bought me a little sea otter hugging the team logo and I totally littled out hugging, kissing and cuddling it (I named him JoJo by the way). The woman next to me tapped me and told me that it was so adorable and then told her husband she wanted one (she was in her 50s at least).

I can honestly say that I have never gotten a negative reaction from anyone, if anything it has always been positive. However I will say that I have never gone really overboard. As I said I don't use diapers and I have never sucked my thumb or used my sippy in public. Ehen we go out I will sometimes use my Finding Dory straw cup but no one has ever said anything about that either.

My advise is that you can do some things that are little in public without repercussions but think long and hard about what it looks like to the outside world before doing it. I can't think of anything that I do that really draws attention. I keep a little teddy bear with me but I don't like shove him in other peoples faces and although my husband is accepting I don't make him participate. Your parents sound like they have been extremely understanding just don't push them too far or it can quickly change their opinion.
 
kik91 said:
Hey guys.

So, I am writing here, sitting in my desk with a wet diaper. Heavily wet diaper. Hehe. Anyway, as you know, I've been having a tough week and many of you, from Poofybutt to tiny to others, have shed some light on me. Right now, I feel fine, so I hope this post is not the result of an euphoria induced state of mine haha.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the past couple of weeks. As many of you know, I talked about my ABDL side with my family, and we came to so many conclusion that are super cool. Their support and love mean everything to me, and the knowledge that I can be a baby with them and wear diapers makes me feel so loved.

But also, this past week, I regressed, badly. I had a wet diaper and walked to my parents and asked to sleep with them because I felt scared. I ended up next to my dad, sucking my thumb. I woke up next to him and my diaper was even wetter and I slipped my thumb again. It felt nice, guys.

Then, back in my bed, I started thinking about all of this. About how my Baby Self makes me feel better when I'm down. I know many people recur to regression when they're stressed, and it helps them.

But I really want to make my Baby Self part of my daily self. Is such a thing possible? I don't know.

All I know is that for one night I was a little kid and loved it. All I know is that I was watching a movie with my sister and I ended up hugging a plushy, my diaper crinkling. It made me happy. I want to feel like that.

My whole life has been darkness, but the Baby Self brings out the light. I want to make it as present as possible. I went through depression, to self harm, to psych wards, to abuse, to more psych wards to ECT and more on. I need something to hold on to.

I want to be a baby, and I know it's impossible, but maybe I can make my Baby Self more present as I live on. I know my friends wouldn't mind, nor would my cousins, or any one else. Because they love me.

And don't get me wrong. I also want my adult life. I like it, mostly. I have ambitions and I can handle real-life problems. I'm not unable to. I just want to make fuse both sides into one coherent self. I don't want to be an adult at times, and a baby at times. Is it possible to have both identities fused?

So, maybe start by sucking my thumb in public, or wearing diapers more often even in public setting. Maybe I can see if my family would be okay to being more involved. I don't know.

I know I have a professional life ahead, I want to be a great writer, and I already have won an award. So yeah, this is tough.

But I want it guys.

I'd say I've integrated my adult and baby side somewhat well. I drink alcohol from a bottle, and am usually around the house in just a diaper and tee shirt (just to name a couple of things). However, I keep my work and private life completely seperate so as such I don't bring my baby self with me to work at all. So yeah, it is certainly possible to find the right ballance for yourself.
 
Start slow, integrate it into your home life. Be diapered and little when you get home. Use a sippy cup, suck your thumb, wear and use diapers. If your family is okay with this at the moment, use this as your stress reliever. I have been doing this for a long time. It can have a recovery effect, like how going on a vacation can cause a stressed person to come back okay and ready to work again. A little kid can act older for short periods of time, as long as they also have times when they can be a little kid again. At home be little. See if that gives you enough stress relief without bringing this side of you out of the house.
 
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