Quote Originally Posted by kik91 View Post
Hey guys.

So, I am writing here, sitting in my desk with a wet diaper. Heavily wet diaper. Hehe. Anyway, as you know, I've been having a tough week and many of you, from Poofybutt to tiny to others, have shed some light on me. Right now, I feel fine, so I hope this post is not the result of an euphoria induced state of mine haha.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the past couple of weeks. As many of you know, I talked about my ABDL side with my family, and we came to so many conclusion that are super cool. Their support and love mean everything to me, and the knowledge that I can be a baby with them and wear diapers makes me feel so loved.

But also, this past week, I regressed, badly. I had a wet diaper and walked to my parents and asked to sleep with them because I felt scared. I ended up next to my dad, sucking my thumb. I woke up next to him and my diaper was even wetter and I slipped my thumb again. It felt nice, guys.

Then, back in my bed, I started thinking about all of this. About how my Baby Self makes me feel better when I'm down. I know many people recur to regression when they're stressed, and it helps them.

But I really want to make my Baby Self part of my daily self. Is such a thing possible? I don't know.

All I know is that for one night I was a little kid and loved it. All I know is that I was watching a movie with my sister and I ended up hugging a plushy, my diaper crinkling. It made me happy. I want to feel like that.

My whole life has been darkness, but the Baby Self brings out the light. I want to make it as present as possible. I went through depression, to self harm, to psych wards, to abuse, to more psych wards to ECT and more on. I need something to hold on to.

I want to be a baby, and I know it's impossible, but maybe I can make my Baby Self more present as I live on. I know my friends wouldn't mind, nor would my cousins, or any one else. Because they love me.

And don't get me wrong. I also want my adult life. I like it, mostly. I have ambitions and I can handle real-life problems. I'm not unable to. I just want to make fuse both sides into one coherent self. I don't want to be an adult at times, and a baby at times. Is it possible to have both identities fused?

So, maybe start by sucking my thumb in public, or wearing diapers more often even in public setting. Maybe I can see if my family would be okay to being more involved. I don't know.

I know I have a professional life ahead, I want to be a great writer, and I already have won an award. So yeah, this is tough.

But I want it guys.
I'd say I've integrated my adult and baby side somewhat well. I drink alcohol from a bottle, and am usually around the house in just a diaper and tee shirt (just to name a couple of things). However, I keep my work and private life completely seperate so as such I don't bring my baby self with me to work at all. So yeah, it is certainly possible to find the right ballance for yourself.