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Thread: Coming out as a little

  1. #1

    Default Coming out as a little

    Hi, sorry to post yet another thread about coming out to your partner, but I searched through this site and only found threads about coming out as a DL or the combination of DL and AB, none about purely just coming out as an AB or even little. If there is any, please redirect me to it.

    I realize that talking about diapers is probably the hardest and that's why people discuss it the most, but I really wanna know how you talk about being AB or little, about little space, feeling safe with them, needing to feel cute etc.

    Anyways, I'm not really searching for any specific advice, although any advice is very wellcome, but I'd love to hear your experiences with "the talk" and any other discussions that followed and how your relationship progressed in this aspect. Also I'd love to know weather it made your relationship stronger or weaker and how. Anything you wanna share about this topic is wellcome really.

    My experience so far: I've been with my new bf for 5 months now, I told him that I really enjoy being called cute, I told him I sometimes enjoy feeling like a little girl, I like being held. I even told him I have a pacifier. He's been nothing but supportive. He often calles me cute, holds me in his arms if I tell him I want to (he even asks himself weather I want to, I don't have to ask for it). Recently he took me on a secret date - a restaurant where the food was brought to us by little trains (I love toy trains) and told me he wanted me to be able to feel like a little girl.

    I also have a strong caregiver side that I feel like he enjoys a lot. He likes being held and cuddled, he likes that I worry about him getting enough sleep, eating enough and generally that I take care of him. He's even jeleous if I call anybody else cute. He has to be the cutest one! (which he is of course!)

    Most of the time we treat each other like any other couple though and I like it that way. But I would like to further engage this into our relationship.

    I'm currently thinking about asking him how he'd feel if I called him "daddy", bc I feel like it might just slip me soon anyways. I would also like to show him some images, probably not very explicit yet. Just someting that shows the cuteness of it. My biggest problem so far is that I have a hard time just letting go like I would if I were alone - I know it's stupid but I worry if I get into that head space too much I won't control myself enough and will creep him out. Does anybody worry about it too? Or did you in the past? And how did you deal with it? So far I've been trying to be little in front of him just very carefully, but I realize for him to know weather he's truly ok with it or even weather he enjoys it, he needs to experience it. But I still feel kind of awkward. :/

    Uff, it feels nice to share this with someone. Please feel free to share too.

  2. #2

    Default

    I had the talk with 2 previous girlfriends.

    First off though, I think it can be very difficult confiding about being an AB to someone, it's not just difficult for the DL's. Being an AB, in my view, is a lot more involved than simply liking diapers, for many an AB, diapers are a big part of regression. So, being an AB can seem like a double whammy to some people:

    "You like wearing diapers and acting like a Baby"

    Fortunately for me though, my previous girlfriends and I got along swimmingly, so confiding in them, while nerve racking, was a very positive experience.

    My standard advice when it comes to telling someone, is that you should tell early on in the relationship, but not too early as the uninitiated might find this to be a deal-breaker. I told my first girlfriend 6 months into the relationship and my 2nd one, 3 months into the relationship.

    Another thing that helps is preparing what you want to say before hand, so that you're not awkward or fumbling for the right words when you work up the courage to tell. I find that whenever you tell, it should always be from the heart and sincere, take your partner aside, sit down with them and really let them know what being an AB means to you, how important it is to you. I find this personalized approach goes over the best because being an AB or a Little differs from person to person, some online resources tend to generalize the interest/lifestyle. Also, one should give their partner space to ask their questions and come to terms with this reveal as well. Another thing to avoid is bombarding them with details, that can be off-putting, introduce new details as they come up and as I said, let your partner ask questions too. Deciding how to go about starting this conversation, depends entirely on the person. I usually try finding ins in regular conversation to tell others, but setting your partner aside after a routine date or during a quiet evening at home never hurts either.

    That's about the brass tacks of my advice.

    It worked out well in the past. Both of my previous girlfriends were accepting. One accepted that this was a part of me and she gave me space and time to indulge in private, she did not participate. My 2nd girlfriend was incredibly accepting and over time she opened herself up to mothering me on occasion.

    Up until very recently, I had a Mommy friend who also knew about this side of me and cared for me when I regressed. I did not use my standard advice when dealing with her. She contacted me back in the days of Craigslist personals, I posted an ad and she responded to me almost immediately. We chatted for weeks, ironing out the details and then our friendship began. I embraced complete transparency with her from the get go, it was a beautiful friendship, one that I'm still getting over.

    Those are my experiences and my advice. It sounds like your method of telling your boyfriend little by little has been working well enough. If you want to take the step and reveal more, hopefully my advice can be of assistance.

    In any case good luck to you

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Leilana View Post
    Hi, sorry to post yet another thread about coming out to your partner, but I searched through this site and only found threads about coming out as a DL or the combination of DL and AB, none about purely just coming out as an AB or even little. If there is any, please redirect me to it.

    I realize that talking about diapers is probably the hardest and that's why people discuss it the most, but I really wanna know how you talk about being AB or little, about little space, feeling safe with them, needing to feel cute etc.

    Anyways, I'm not really searching for any specific advice, although any advice is very wellcome, but I'd love to hear your experiences with "the talk" and any other discussions that followed and how your relationship progressed in this aspect. Also I'd love to know weather it made your relationship stronger or weaker and how. Anything you wanna share about this topic is wellcome really.

    My experience so far: I've been with my new bf for 5 months now, I told him that I really enjoy being called cute, I told him I sometimes enjoy feeling like a little girl, I like being held. I even told him I have a pacifier. He's been nothing but supportive. He often calles me cute, holds me in his arms if I tell him I want to (he even asks himself weather I want to, I don't have to ask for it). Recently he took me on a secret date - a restaurant where the food was brought to us by little trains (I love toy trains) and told me he wanted me to be able to feel like a little girl.

    I also have a strong caregiver side that I feel like he enjoys a lot. He likes being held and cuddled, he likes that I worry about him getting enough sleep, eating enough and generally that I take care of him. He's even jeleous if I call anybody else cute. He has to be the cutest one! (which he is of course!)

    Most of the time we treat each other like any other couple though and I like it that way. But I would like to further engage this into our relationship.

    I'm currently thinking about asking him how he'd feel if I called him "daddy", bc I feel like it might just slip me soon anyways. I would also like to show him some images, probably not very explicit yet. Just someting that shows the cuteness of it. My biggest problem so far is that I have a hard time just letting go like I would if I were alone - I know it's stupid but I worry if I get into that head space too much I won't control myself enough and will creep him out. Does anybody worry about it too? Or did you in the past? And how did you deal with it? So far I've been trying to be little in front of him just very carefully, but I realize for him to know weather he's truly ok with it or even weather he enjoys it, he needs to experience it. But I still feel kind of awkward. :/

    Uff, it feels nice to share this with someone. Please feel free to share too.
    There are some good links in this thread for reading up on it all that you may want to sit down and read with him.

    https://www.adisc.org/forum/showthre...l-parent-guide

  4. #4

    Default

    Thank you for your input Poofybutt, I already read some of your comments in other threads, but this is still very helpful. Well, I feel like the "AB thing" is easier to accept bc to some extend it is not so unusual - I mean a lot of people tend to act childish sometimes, they like stuffed animals, childish prints on their clothes etc. Of course being AB or little is slightly more extreme And different on the inside. But you can start off with things that won't seem so weird to them. On the other hand, trying to explain you like diapers, or even that it is a fetish for you just seems more difficult to accept for people who are not in this community.

    Anyways, I am really curious (if you don't mind sharing that), how did you include the AB stuff in your relationship with your second girlfriend? Did she start acting more maternal on her own, or did you slowly start acting more babyish in front of her? And how did you feel about it at the beggining? Did it feel natural? I still feel a little weird about act little in front of my bf, even though his reactions so far have been fine.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thank you for the link littlemoosey. I already read the thread before and looked at the links there, and they were helpful, even though I'm not sure I want to share those with him just yet. They explain it all, which might be a little scary. But it can sure help when trying to find the right words to explain this world to someone outside of it.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Leilana View Post
    Thank you for your input Poofybutt, I already read some of your comments in other threads, but this is still very helpful. Well, I feel like the "AB thing" is easier to accept bc to some extend it is not so unusual - I mean a lot of people tend to act childish sometimes, they like stuffed animals, childish prints on their clothes etc. Of course being AB or little is slightly more extreme And different on the inside. But you can start off with things that won't seem so weird to them. On the other hand, trying to explain you like diapers, or even that it is a fetish for you just seems more difficult to accept for people who are not in this community.

    Anyways, I am really curious (if you don't mind sharing that), how did you include the AB stuff in your relationship with your second girlfriend? Did she start acting more maternal on her own, or did you slowly start acting more babyish in front of her? And how did you feel about it at the beggining? Did it feel natural? I still feel a little weird about act little in front of my bf, even though his reactions so far have been fine.
    You're very welcome for the input

    You might be right about AB being a little easier to explain, but I still maintain that whether you are an AB or a DL, explaining this side of yourself to partners and friends can still be a little difficult. Perhaps the one leg up that AB has, is that it seems to be much more lifestyle oriented whereas being a DL seems to have more of a sexual/fetish connotation, but still, try explaining that wearing diapers, dressing up like a baby and regressing to an infantile state is a part of who you are or an alternative lifestyle that you embrace, there's always a chance that won't go over well or be taken seriously at all.

    You ask a good question, I don't mind sharing with other AB and Little friends who want to know.

    With my 2nd girlfriend, she was incredibly accepting from the get go. When I first told her, she said I didn't need to hide that side of myself from her, so I wasn't as diligent in hiding diapers, or putting away my pacifiers, bottles and stuffies if they were lying around. I wore around her, usually concealed and I would on occasion, regress slightly and just cuddle with her, she never shied away from any of it at all. After we had been dating for about a year, I asked her how she would feel being in a Mommy role when time would allow. No fooling, she actually told me she had been considering it for a while and was going to ask me the same exact question at some point. From that moment on, it was a slow build, we started out simply, she would put me in a diaper and we would just cuddle. It wasn't until much later in the relationship that she became a little more proactive. Eventually, we got to the point where, a few nights a week, she would diaper me and would very diligently mother me; we had playtimes, cuddle time, nap time and she even changed my diaper a few times (wet only), it was fun. So, I guess it was a little of both, it was her own burgeoning maternal instincts and me being quite willing to be a baby around her that led to the dynamic

    In answer to your other question, in the beginning, it felt very natural to me, like a dream come true. I knew based on her initial reaction that I could trust her completely, so I never had any trouble being babyish around her, of course, sometimes I would only be babyish in small ways. I think for my GF/Mommy, adapting to that mother role was a bit of an adjustment, she had never taken care of an actual baby before, let alone an adult one, so I think she really struggled at times with figuring out how exactly to be maternal and how to engage with me at times, but like I said, she warmed up to it well and it became more natural for her later on.

    Feeling comfortable in front of someone else in baby or little mode is all dependent upon trust I think, for some people it takes longer for them to build trust than others. I build trust very easily, I think I can read people well and I win over a lot of people with my kind-hearted personality. So, with my Mommy/GF and later my Mommy friend, I was able to trust them relatively quickly and as such regressing around them felt natural to a point. Does that make sense?

    In any case, you seem to be doing fine in your own way. My advice would be to try not to be too self-conscious, your boyfriend seems to be very accepting, especially if he hasn't raised any concerns when you have been behaving little around him. Maybe, you can do what I did with my previous girlfriends and you can have the talk, that'll build trust and then he may warm up more to the idea of being a Daddy, that or it'll at least become a whole lot easier for you to be little around him.

    Once again, good luck to you

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