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Thread: Relationship Issues

  1. #11

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    Yeah, I agree that this is a private matter. Lots of couple have their variety of kinks. Yours just happens to be about diapers. It's really none of their business. Like you suggested, I would let time fade everything into the distant past. If they do bring it up and it gets hostile, you may have to tell them that it's something you both share. If they can accept your gay lifestyle, they can accept that as well.

  2. #12

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    I certainly agree with what others here have recently said. This is a private manner.

    While your parents are still your parents, if they have expressed a distaste for your boyfriend's posts about ABDL things, without being compassionate to you as to how this might make you feel, then it seems they have already judged him. And doing so without getting to know him at all.

    However, I don't think this is something that you should weigh in heavily a judgement against your parents, especially if they are otherwise very supportive of you in your relationships. Likely they are simply being parents and trying to keep you protected from something that they (and most of society) do not understand and think is something that may be wrong or harmful.

    I am a parent myself, who very uniquely happens to also have a son who I discovered some years ago likes diapers. He does not know about my own interests in this, as I have kept this pretty discrete. However, a few years ago I discovered he had been wearing diapers and I had a few conversations with him about it, which turned out really well. I did not share my own interests in this because he was still quite young and it did not seem to be the right thing to do at that time. Yet, I was able to show him support and let him know I was there for him and also let him know he was not alone and that many others had this same interest.

    So, granted that I am coming from this as a parent that has the same ABDL interest... but still, I think your parent's over-reacted a bit. Perhaps they were trying to sway you a bit away from him as this is not something they understand and they did not want you to be hurt later on if you did not know about this.

    I actually have to wonder what their response may have been if you had said that you did know about his being ABDL and it was something you also felt --If they have otherwise been kind and supportive of you, perhaps they would have reacted differently. I hope that if they knew this was part of who you are, they would be more sensitive, less critical, and perhaps even supportive about it.

    But, as circumstances have already happened, and they have already shown their distaste for ABDL things, if it comes up again, you should gently, but firmly state that this is something that is private. You need to be honest about your own interests in this and share that you would appreciate if they could allow you to keep this private and hope that rather than being judgemental, that they can either learn more about it, or simply let it go as it is truly is private between you and your boyfriend.

    If they keep prying or bringing it up in a less than compassionate manner, then I would recommend you tell them that it is not something that you are going to discuss any further. Then simply move on to another discussion. There is no reason to get embarrassed or upset, just let the conversation end. If still they continue to bring it up, then physically leave the conversation altogether.

    I wish you the best as this is a really tough situation. I hope that from what you have shared about your parents --in that they are otherwise very supportive of you, perhaps once they know you also have this interest, they will be a bit more compassionate and less judgemental of your boyfriend.

    Likely they initially reacted in this way as they were a bit shocked and wanted you to know this about your boyfriend, rather than finding out much later on.

    Best wishes

    Teddy Bear Cowboy

  3. #13

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    you know you parents best and each case is a little different... that said. if it was me and my parents and they asked with specifics along the lines of, do you/your bf like diapers. then i would take a minute to calmly explain, yes, and this what it means to me. assess their fears and explain that this isn't a bad thing and is actually pretty common. they might not understand entirely, but as long as they understand its not some psychopathic thing, or that your not a pedophile, or worse. then they should be happy as long as your happy and not harming yourself or anybody else. if its too much for them then just say, "well, you asked..." who knows it may even turn out ok. i told my parents back in February and they had a few simple questions(and couple cringey ones) and after i explained it, they were happy and glad i was honest with them. i haven't heard a word about it since.

    the way i see it, if this is you and your lifestyle and if your lucky enough to find a partner that shares this interest, then you both should have nothing to be ashamed of. and if someone doesn't agree with it then fine. they aren't gonna suddenly hate you just because your different from them. wouldn't it be crazy if they admitted the same thing back?

    just my two cents

  4. #14

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    I think the issue parents have when AB/DL and their children are put in a sentence together is this: They sacrificed a lot to raise their child(ren) and have an incredibly hard time seeing their grown children wanting to be a part of this community.

    Some people were never abused during their childhood and some were. Some parents that have children (that were never abused) think that they must have done something wrong at some point when the child was being raised.

    On the other hand, parents of children (that experienced childhood abuse) do not want to face the problem. They rather fix it with the equivalent of applying a band-aid to a bullet wound; the issue being, you eventually bleed out. Taking medication can be extremely frightening and some people choose to find something to help cope later in life.

    In this situation, people choose the AB/DL community.

    Personally, I did experience some abuse as a child. Plus, later in my childhood, my parents divorced, I had a suicide attempt, and had a traumatic family experience. Not only do I enjoy the AB/DL community, it helps me cope with past abuse.

    I hope this helps you understand why parents act so angrily when it comes to their children and the AB/DL community.

  5. #15

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    Idk if its too late to go this route, I see its been two weeks since you originally posted, but you could always say his account was hacked at some point. Facebook and other social media accounts get hacked all the time. So maybe you could say that someone hacked his account and started liking diaper related pages. Then when your parents told you, you told your boyfriend and he immediately changed his password and tried to undo all the likes and posts from that account.

    You could even bring it up and say to your parents something like, oh by the way, thank you for bringing up the my boyfriend liking diaper accounts thing (probably will have to reword that lol), I brought it up with my boyfriend and he was as shocked as we were! We found out his account was hacked (and then say more of how he unfollowed all the things and changed his password)

    Just my two cents. Hope that helps!

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