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Thread: Back to Being a Solo Baby Boy

  1. #1

    Default Back to Being a Solo Baby Boy

    Hey Everyone,

    So, as you may have noticed, I haven’t posted much over the last few days. In addition to it being Canada Day long weekend, I was lucky enough to have a baby weekend with my Mommy friend. We’ve had plenty of fun with our Mommy and Baby friendship, this weekend was the first time we had gotten together in about 4 weeks. Leading up to this, I had sent Mommy a few e-mails that went unanswered and then I had a week and a half vacation across the Country. When I returned from that vacation a few days before the long weekend, I was pleasantly surprised to see an e-mail from Mommy, letting me know that she had this weekend free for a Baby/Mommy get together. I was excited and eager.

    My weekend was a dream; lots of cuddles, diaper changes, feeding times, play times, bath times and nap times. I got to be Mommy’s baby in the late evening Saturday, All day Sunday and practically all day today, I got home at my place at about a quarter after 6pm. As great a weekend as I had, I didn't expect it to be our last.

    I was curious as to why Mommy, hadn’t returned my e-mails from those 4 weeks ago. I asked her why she didn’t reply to my e-mails while we were driving up to her place and she told me it was work related. I understood that completely, I had been busy finishing up University and I had some freelance jobs myself as the summer started. Turns out it wasn’t just work.

    On the way back to my place following our lovely weekend, my Mommy friend decided to level with me. She told me that around the time of my last e-mail, those 4 weeks ago, that an ex of hers came back into her life. This is someone she had quite the history with and she still had romantic feelings for him, so she felt it was necessary to unplug from me in an effort to rekindle this relationship. She told me that she intends to continue going steady with her former ex now that he has come back into her life and that she can’t be e-mailing me as often or moonlighting as my Mommy anymore. She said she would have told me this via e-mail, but she likes me too much as a friend and as a baby to do that, so she thought that having a final baby weekend together, when she had the time alone, would take the sting out. In summation, I am back to being a solo Baby Boy again.

    First off, while I'm experiencing a mix of emotions, I’m not mad or bitter at all, I had mentally prepared for this happening. When me and my Mommy friend entered into this, it was a friendship with a Baby and Mommy dimension to it, nothing more. Mommy was very clear she was never going to date me because of the age difference and we both allowed one another to see other people and to do other things, only getting together when it worked for the both of us. So, this hasn’t been as devastating as say, a breakup, but it is a little sad that someone who I shared this side of myself with for nearly 6 months, someone who cared for me like no other, isn't going to be there for me anymore... or at least, not in the same capacity.

    So, Mommy is up a boyfriend, I’m down a Mommy, but up a friend. My Mommy friend said she wouldn’t mind me e-mailing her from time to time, we can still be friends, but of course, the baby elements need to be downplayed as she is trying to distance herself from her maternal side to focus on her current, romantic relationship. Something else that perked me up a bit, was when Mommy said that if her relationship with her ex doesn’t pan out, she would be quick to start babying me again. Looking back on that last part though, I'm not sure how I feel about that, I don’t know if I would be happy knowing that I'm being babied on the rebound Still, we are remaining friends and that’s a fair compromise. I liked her for much more than just her stellar Adult Baby care and Mommy skills, we had a lot in common and we had plenty of fun dinner and movie dates outside of the Baby and Mommy dynamic.

    I guess, I’m feeling melancholic more than anything. I almost wish she had broken this information to me via an e-mail instead of having a final Baby/Mommy weekend. This past weekend, while amazing, will now stand as a reminder of what I can not have anytime soon.

    When she drove me back to my place, we gave each other one last goodbye. We hugged it out for what seemed like forever. It was quite clear to me, that she was upset at this development too. I know my Mommy friend will have a bit of a hard time adjusting to this as well. Her final parting words to me, were to "perk up", that I’m such a kind, caring, loving, intelligent and attractive person, she has no doubt I will find someone to be a Girlfriend and a Mommy again. Forever the optimist, I am inclined to agree, I know, I just know that I will find that special someone, but how long will it take?

    As Tom Petty once sang, “Waiting is the hardest part”. This prospective waiting and searching, the uncertainty they bring, it's not very pleasant and I think that's getting to me as well. My last year of University crippled my dating game, so many assignments, term papers and projects, I’m rusty as heck. The only dates I’ve been on since the summer started, have been pleasant distractions, ultimately nothing to write home about, all organized by well-meaning friends, but as I am sure some of you know, friends aren’t always the best match-makers, even though they mean well. Having a Masters Program coming up, I’m sure school will continue to cut into my dating and personal life. This makes me a little fearful as well, fearful that I may wind up searching a lifetime, dating countless others and I may still never be able to find somebody like my Mommy friend again; a pure, loving, caring and beautiful soul who mothered me out of sincere interest and complete altruism.

    I’m sad, but I'm sure I’ll get over it. There are a couple of things that are keeping me from feeling completely devastated; my past track record with regards to accepting partners, the fact that she and I will still remain friends and that old saying, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”, or, I guess in my case it would be, “Tis better to have had a Mommy and lost, than never to have had a Mommy at all”. I know that there are other AB’s on this very site who have yet to experience what I have, many AB’s who are still searching for their GF/Mommy or BF/Daddy and now I’m back in that club.

    I think I’m gonna try to diaper up and regress a little later, take my mind off things. I’m still processing this turn of events. Just thought I would share this with my padded pals here at ADISC. I’m looking for support and positivity right now, I could sure use some

    Hugs,
    Poofybutt

  2. #2

    Default

    Sent you a PM buddy, just know that I'm here for you. I know how important this was for you. Stay strong and optimist, okay?

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by kik91 View Post
    Sent you a PM buddy, just know that I'm here for you. I know how important this was for you. Stay strong and optimist, okay?
    Of course, If nothing else, I'm always optimistic.

    I'll be fine, just a little down at the moment is all.

  4. #4

    Default

    Wow, Poofy I'm really sorry to hear this. I have followed your posts about this pretty closely and can only imagine how you must be feeling. On the one hand, happy for your friend but on the other a profound personal loss.

    The good thing though is that you have been able to go out there before and have made it work more than 1 time, so my guess is when you are ready you will be able to do it again.

    You seem to have a sensitive side which girls love, especially care givers and that will show.

    Give it some time, it sounds like you have allot on your plate right now anyways. Someone will come around, it may not be the first one but you'll find someone that you have these things in common with.

    Hang in there.

    moosey

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by littlemoosey View Post
    Wow, Poofy I'm really sorry to hear this. I have followed your posts about this pretty closely and can only imagine how you must be feeling. On the one hand, happy for your friend but on the other a profound personal loss.

    The good thing though is that you have been able to go out there before and have made it work more than 1 time, so my guess is when you are ready you will be able to do it again.

    You seem to have a sensitive side which girls love, especially care givers and that will show.

    Give it some time, it sounds like you have allot on your plate right now anyways. Someone will come around, it may not be the first one but you'll find someone that you have these things in common with.

    Hang in there.

    moosey
    Thanks for the reply, Moosey

    Yeah, it's really unfortunate. I'm still processing things, but I'm feeling a little better now that it's not as fresh. It's sad, but I'll manage. One of the things that makes it hard though, is how deeply my Mommy friend went with caring for me, I do hope I'll be able to have that level of Baby/Mommy connection and care from someone else again.

    As you said though, I've managed to have success with girlfriends in the past, that makes me confident that I can find another GF/Mommy again, it'll just take some time.

    You're right about the sensitive side thing, not just girls I've dated and caregivers have noticed, but friends, co-workers and peers as well. Friends and co-workers of mine frequently comment about how chipper, calming and sweet I am. One of my peers when we were working on a project in my last year of University even said that working with me or having me around when others are working on something, is like having a puppy or a little kid around, I just make everyone feel calmer, more relaxed and positive

    I'm sure I'll get back into the dating game and I'm sure I'll find someone else who I can share this side of myself with, it'll just take time, but I'm positive I'll find someone again.

    Thanks for the kind words.

    Hugs,
    Poofybutt

  6. #6

    Default

    Thats the spirit, and your welcome.

    You know, before I told my wife. She would ask me if there is " anything I need?" and I would tell her there are somethings that "I would never get". What I was referring to was back into diapers and the unbelievable long shot that she would approve even tacitly. I never in a 1000 years dreamed that we would be where we are today. I guess what I learned is, "never say never".

    Hang in there,

    moosey

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