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Thread: Partner is Infertile

  1. #1

    Default Partner is Infertile

    So I recently found out that my partner is infertile. I don't how to tell him how sad I am and that I've been dreaming to have our baby of our own. It's like a shattered dream for me now. I want to tell my Mom but she's far away from us. I just don't know what to do.

  2. #2

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    My wife was infertile. We adopted a little girl and we couldn't feel better about her if she shared our genes. There are children who need a family. And like they say you don't have to be a perfect parent to be the perfect parent. Oh and my mother in law told us she didn't know how she would feel as close to an adopted child. Within a couple of months she changed her mind. It's like flying to Paris and being diverted to Amsterdam for a day or two. You can grumble about it or you can find out Amsterdam is a great place to visit also. I wish you strength to get through and for the best.

  3. #3

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    I was adopted and I'm forever grateful. They're the only parents that I've ever known. They loved me unconditionally and gave me all that they had to give. There are alternatives such as adoption, so you might consider that. Parent-less children need good homes and loving parents.

  4. #4

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    As an infertile male, it is something that frustrates me. I cannot express my anger enough, but at the same time doing so would not help. Luckily I have had two kids already and this came after. I take testosterone to help replace what I have lost. Luckily my wife loves me the same. The kids do not know yet. One day I will have to tell them as it might affect them too.

    If you truly love him, then like others have said there are options. It is not blood per se, but that really does not matter. It is hard to understand, but when a little one comes into your life, the questions kind of fade away and you do what you are meant to in order to be a good parent.

    Love your man. Men base a lot of their self worth on their virility. When that is taken away for what ever reason, it does not mean the end, though they will feel that way. A strong man will stand up and move forward and love you the same.

    It is like incontinence. Something taken for granted is gone all of a sudden. You either wallow in self loathing or you pick your head up and move on.

    Loving others make a MASSIVE difference in how that goes down. Love him and I hope you both find the best in life.

    I got lucky and did.

  5. #5

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    I have a friend who went through a similar situation. One of my friends found out that he was infertile as well. He found out right around the time that he and his wife were in their prime to start having kids, they were both 25.

    My friend took the news very hard, he felt like less of a man, he actually sought out counselling to help get his confidence back up again. In the end, they had two options, adoption or artificial insemination. They decided on adoption as my friend's sperm count was both insufficient and they did not work properly, there was no guarantee that insemination would work in their case. They now have an adopted child, a son. Adoption as many others have said here, is a great way of navigating the issue, that way you can still have your family while giving a loving home to children who were either unwanted or from unfortunate circumstances.

    In the meantime, be there for one another, you both must be having a hard time right now, you need each other and if you want to confide in family members, that always helps too. Take your time, work through this and weigh your options, I'm sure everything will work out in the end.

  6. #6

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    This is really hard news to hear and I can only imagine how hard it is right now for you both.

    I am sure you already know the alternatives and if one is right for you both then I hope it’s a joyous path you both walk down.

  7. #7

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    being infertile myself without a partner, makes things kinda lonely,

    so sad to hear about more people with infirtility,
    wishing you all the best help you can get...

  8. #8

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    Thank you guys for those uplifting messages. I came to know that my partner is feeling more depressed than me. He was crying and said that he feels incomplete, broken, etc. At the moment, the idea of adopting a child is not in our plans yet. We talked about our situation with a few close friends and they suggested us to consider marriage counseling. We came accross this depression therapy site and found out that there's an e-counseling session. My partner thinks that he will be more comfortable with this instead of face-to-face counseling. He maybe feels shy about his condition? Tho I prefer to have it done in a physcial clinic, I think I have to give way to whatever my husband feels.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by HeronimusM View Post
    being infertile myself without a partner, makes things kinda lonely,

    so sad to hear about more people with infirtility,
    wishing you all the best help you can get...
    I hope you feel better soon too and who knows, you might still be able to find someone who will accept you 100%.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Poofybutt View Post
    I have a friend who went through a similar situation. One of my friends found out that he was infertile as well. He found out right around the time that he and his wife were in their prime to start having kids, they were both 25.

    My friend took the news very hard, he felt like less of a man, he actually sought out counselling to help get his confidence back up again. In the end, they had two options, adoption or artificial insemination. They decided on adoption as my friend's sperm count was both insufficient and they did not work properly, there was no guarantee that insemination would work in their case. They now have an adopted child, a son. Adoption as many others have said here, is a great way of navigating the issue, that way you can still have your family while giving a loving home to children who were either unwanted or from unfortunate circumstances.

    In the meantime, be there for one another, you both must be having a hard time right now, you need each other and if you want to confide in family members, that always helps too. Take your time, work through this and weigh your options, I'm sure everything will work out in the end.
    Yes, hopefully counseling might help both of us. I think the counselor would suggest us to consider adopting a child. We're not ready for that at the moment but let's see. I think we need to go through the process of acceptance first.

  9. #9

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    Me and my wife went through this to its hard enough going though the tests but when i sat opposite the doctor and she said i had a 0 count it was like been hit by a bus so can fully sympathize with what you're going through. My wife suffers from bipolar disorder so i had to do my best to be strong for her and has been the hardest thing I've ever dun.

    All i can say is keep talking take everything very slowly and get help we didn't and looking back we should have had. My wife had counselling because of the bipolar but i had nothing and that was a big mistake.



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  10. #10

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    I was 16 when they told me I was infertile. As a woman who always dreamed of being a mom, it crushed me from the inside out. But there are plenty of other options out there for you. Don’t give up!

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