Am I Wrong?

Hey guys.

I have a few concerns that have also kept me a bit uneasy. And this goes for the whole ABDL community. There is one thing that keeps me a bit guilty and even sometimes down.

Am I wrong to be open about my ABDL side?

Look, as many of you know, I am pretty open about my baby side. My parents and sister know, and they are okay with me being a baby and diapered in the house. Some cousins I really trust also know, and even an aunt, and two uncles. My best friend has babied me, and many close friends know about this too. As time went by, it became easier to tell people about this. Slowly, I'm becoming less of a "closet-ABDL".

That being said, every time I share this with the ABDL community, many times I am criticized about it. They say to me "it is so wrong for you to do that!" or "why would you even tell everyone about this?!"

I know the world is cruel, and I know it could be risky to be like this. But I just feel happy when I get to be myself with people who care for me. No, I don't tell EVERYONE I know, just people I trust. And no, I'm not public because it could be harmful for professional life. But otherwise, being open has made me more confident. I even go to the streets with a pacifier around my neck, and going diapered in public is peace of cake.

But people sometimes make me feel bad because they say "this should be private!"

If many people think this should be kept private and are comfortable about it being their thing, I totally and completely respect that and understand. But them shaming me for being open, well, it does makes me feel bad sometimes.

I mean, I understand when they say "you wouldn't want to know about your parents fetishes, would you?!". I certainly wouldn't, but to them, this is not sexual. It is my way of being. How I am.

So, I feel guilty sometimes because many ABDLs shame me for being like this.

What do you guys think? Am I wrong?

Being open is okay, depending on your situation, but I can understand why people think it shouldn't be so. It's important to be happy with yourself and your own piece of this world. Most of us are not as lucky to have people who support our ABDL side. You're extremely lucky to have your family. Be sure you let them know that.

KryanAshford said:

Being open is okay, depending on your situation, but I can understand why people think it shouldn't be so. It's important to be happy with yourself and your own piece of this world. Most of us are not as lucky to have people who support our ABDL side. You're extremely lucky to have your family. Be sure you let them know that.

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Yeah, I know! Trust me, I've thanked them so many times! We've had that talk and I've told them how much I appreciate their love! I just, I hid this side of me all my life until I was 17 (when they caught me), but it was until I was 24 (3 years ago) I became more open and comfortable with this. I just don't want people to think I'm some sort of exhibitionist or weirdo for being open to those I love.

I definitely don't think you're wrong, and I applaud you for being so open. Like you said, this is your way of being. I don't tell my family about this because I don't feel the need to, it wouldn't help with anything, but if this works for you, that's great.

I guess to a lesser extent, I am very open about my baby side with my family...I'll use baby-speak, dress childishly, carry a stuffie around the house. But those things are just accepted as a part of my personality, so there's no need to explain that this is a "thing" to them.

There's also a difference as to whether this is a sexual thing or not. It isn't, for me, so I don't feel like I have to confine it to the bedroom, but I guess if it were, I wouldn't want anyone other than my partner to know. But as a non-sexual thing, as a mindset, there really is no harm in sharing it with your most trusted ones.

Schwanensee said:

I definitely don't think you're wrong, and I applaud you for being so open. Like you said, this is your way of being. I don't tell my family about this because I don't feel the need to, it wouldn't help with anything, but if this works for you, that's great.

I guess to a lesser extent, I am very open about my baby side with my family...I'll use baby-speak, dress childishly, carry a stuffie around the house. But those things are just accepted as a part of my personality, so there's no need to explain that this is a "thing" to them.

There's also a difference as to whether this is a sexual thing or not. It isn't, for me, so I don't feel like I have to confine it to the bedroom, but I guess if it were, I wouldn't want anyone other than my partner to know. But as a non-sexual thing, as a mindset, there really is no harm in sharing it with your most trusted ones.

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Yeah, thank you!! I mean, the reason why I am open about this is because I've come to believe that some love, like family love or true friendship, should be unconditional. And we should accept our loved ones. 100%. Being open has helped me feel loved by everyone around me. But of course, I also talk to them. It's not like I tell someone and the next minute I'm babying out with them. Nope, I ask them what they're comfortable with me doing around them, and if they're not quite okay with something, I drop it. I respect that. But I've become so close to those who know this, specially my best friends, and my parents of course.

If you become a famous writer and your AB/DL side becomes public, if you become a beloved writer, maybe you'll be the one to pave the way of acceptance for all of us. Historically, there's always been that one ground breaker like Rosa Parks. You may become the Rosa Parks of Adult Babies!!!

dogboy said:

If you become a famous writer and your AB/DL side becomes public, if you become a beloved writer, maybe you'll be the one to pave the way of acceptance for all of us. Historically, there's always been that one ground breaker like Rosa Parks. You may become the Rosa Parks of Adult Babies!!!

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*giggles*

That would be awesome, tho!!

I think being open about this is a super positive thing especially if you consider it a huge part of your identity! It sounds like the people you have told had understanding reactions and were willing to let you open up. I'm sorry to hear that you have felt judged by other members in the community for your particular situation.

I feel like most people wouldn't be uncomfortable seeing someone wearing a pacifier in public as an accessory -they might just naturally question it- I personally don't think that's forcing ABDL on anyone. There are many people that are incontinent as well that may or not be in the community that wear diapers in public so that to me doesn't seem like an issue either.

I think as long as you are comfortable with yourself and expressing these feelings and as long as the people you tell accept you or at least understand where you're coming from then you're golden. If anyone said anything to express discomfort and you continued to tell them about it (for reasons other than to inform them about where you're coming from) then that would be a different story and could cause issues. It doesn't seem to me that you have made the people you have told uncomfortable especially since this is more than a fetish for you.

I think you have the right to be open about this part of you as long as you and the people you have told are comfortable having these types of conversations and I really am sorry to hear that you have had negative experiences after expressing this to others in the community.

I kind of have this feeling about it...it's like...it depends on how you present yourself.

If you go out and have fun and are silly, people are fine with that. I've never explicitly told anyone I'm an AB, but I have told many people that "I'm the biggest little kid you'll ever meet!" And they usually laugh about it and we all go on our way.

It's when you get into the realm of just plain creepy stuff that other people take major offense. Stuff like asking too personal of questions to people, especially about their children. I've worn a Paw Patrol shirt out shopping and run into little kids who are excited that a 'grown up' likes the show, too. So I'll say "I like all of the pups, but I like Rocky best." And usually the kid will say "I like Chase!" or "I think Marshall is funny!" I'll agree and we'll move on our ways. But never anything too personal, see?

I dress like a 'kid', jeans and cartoon shirts are the norm, but sometimes I get extra fancy and wear my leggings and tutus with my hair in bunches. Little enough to please myself, but still within the margins of 'acceptably weird'. XD

There are those who get a little too 'in-your-face' about stuff. I think even if I wore a pacifier around people would just shake their heads at me. But I would probably draw the line on my own about wearing just a diaper and t-shirt out of the house. Or wearing a pair of pants/skirt that let it show outside of my clothes. But I suppose that's because I'm not in this to shock people and I'm not an exhibitionist that gets my kicks out of freaking out the 'normal' people.

-edit-

Also hanging out at playgrounds when there aren't a lot of kids around and stuff. It's freakin' creepy to parents. Like, they can deal with an adult using the swings and stuff if there are a lot of other parents around to help keep a weather eye on you. But when it's just them and you, they get the creeps even if you don't mean anything bad.

I actually go right up to the playgrounds and play on the swings when they're busy. If someone asks, I just say "I like to swing and it's a nice day for it, doncha think?" After talking to me for a few minutes, most people determine that I'm actually harmless and they ignore me. XD

Thanks guys! Hearing this has been very helpful! I know that being like this with others have helped me deal with self-esteem issues, and it has made me more confident and brave and happier!

It's a personal choice. We each find our own balance between secrecy and openness. I think as long as you are mindful of the consequences and willing to bear them, you should do what generally feels right.

I would say there are exceptions as some people have off-kilter perceptions and might feel just fine about exposing children to diapers in a kinky context or asking random adults to check their diaper for leaks. These are exceedingly rare.

I prefer to keep it discreet most of the time but I don't think there's anything wrong with being more open if it feels like the best way to go. I think the only concern I'd have is that friends and family might not be as comfortable as they claim initially, so it's important to check your own actions and interactions for potential problems as you go along.

Trevor said:

It's a personal choice. We each find our own balance between secrecy and openness. I think as long as you are mindful of the consequences and willing to bear them, you should do what generally feels right.

I would say there are exceptions as some people have off-kilter perceptions and might feel just fine about exposing children to diapers in a kinky context or asking random adults to check their diaper for leaks. These are exceedingly rare.

I prefer to keep it discreet most of the time but I don't think there's anything wrong with being more open if it feels like the best way to go. I think the only concern I'd have is that friends and family might not be as comfortable as they claim initially, so it's important to check your own actions and interactions for potential problems as you go along.

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Hehe. I was checking the thread and I saw you were reading it and I KNEW you were gonna post something. I know you Trevor.

Yeah, I totally agree! I am low-profile in public, and I swear I'd never do something like that to be harmful for children's psyche or for sexual arousal. I mean, I was a volunteer at a Children's Hospital to entertain them! I'm all about kids being happy. So yeah, I totally get you. Children will always have to be shielded of ideals or lifestyles they're not old enough to understand.

But also, yeah, being open about it has been really good for me. And as I said, I have talked to my family and friends and asked them what is cool and what is not. I check on that regularly, just to make sure they're totally fine with it. I mean, being a big baby around the house was weird for everyone at first, but they told me that they've grown super accustomed to it and they find it usual now.

I know there are consequences to be open like this, but I've come to prepare myself for them. I am brave and I know that now.

Thank you!

kik91 said:

Hehe. I was checking the thread and I saw you were reading it and I KNEW you were gonna post something. I know you Trevor.

Yeah, I totally agree! I am low-profile in public, and I swear I'd never do something like that to be harmful for children's psyche or for sexual arousal. I mean, I was a volunteer at a Children's Hospital to entertain them! I'm all about kids being happy. So yeah, I totally get you. Children will always have to be shielded of ideals or lifestyles they're not old enough to understand.

But also, yeah, being open about it has been really good for me. And as I said, I have talked to my family and friends and asked them what is cool and what is not. I check on that regularly, just to make sure they're totally fine with it. I mean, being a big baby around the house was weird for everyone at first, but they told me that they've grown super accustomed to it and they find it usual now.

I know there are consequences to be open like this, but I've come to prepare myself for them. I am brave and I know that now.

Thank you!

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From all you've posted, it sounds like you're handling openness consistently and with care. When I respond to these kinds of things, there's the advice to the poster and then the broader context for anyone else considering these same questions. If I were just replying to you privately, I think it'd be more along the lines of: you're fine.

Trevor said:

From all you've posted, it sounds like you're handling openness consistently and with care. When I respond to these kinds of things, there's the advice to the poster and then the broader context for anyone else considering these same questions. If I were just replying to you privately, I think it'd be more along the lines of: you're fine.

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I know buddy! What I meant is that I know you love to voice your thoughts! Always! And I always found that super cool about you!!

And yeah, I handle it with respect and care for everyone involved!! And yeah, it's been cool. Yesterday morning and I joined everyone in the kitchen, my diaper was super bulgy because it was really wet. And crinkly. But everyone played it cool. It wasn't a big deal, so that made me realize they really are okay with it! And for the first real time ever, I felt 100% comfortable with it!

This is really fantastic Kik; you're doing everything right and as you know, you are blessed to have a supportive family. I too am blessed to have a supportive wife who's doing her best over the past month since I started to let me explore despite her apparent discomfort with it all. I can tell it means a lot to you to have their acceptance, as it does to me to have my wife's.

teddytugger said:

This is really fantastic Kik; you're doing everything right and as you know, you are blessed to have a supportive family. I too am blessed to have a supportive wife who's doing her best over the past month since I started to let me explore despite her apparent discomfort with it all. I can tell it means a lot to you to have their acceptance, as it does to me to have my wife's.

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That's so awesome! I am happy you're wife is getting more and more open to it. Yeah, my family and friends acceptance is a blessing I have. And it's fun, I get to wear diapers anytime I want and baby clothes too. A do babyish things. It's awesome.

Being open to a reasonable extent (like those you really trust) is perfectly fine, it's being open to the general public that could go very wrong very fast.

So I would say you are good, I would be open to my family if I could, but it would probably go wrong very fast if it got to my grandma (my family tolerates her, but she is an awful person who claims to be a Christian but doesn't act like a real Christian should; and that's putting it mildly), I could definitely see how relaxing it could be to not have to hide it all the time (even my mom questions me at times, but I think she means well)

BabyTyrant said:

Being open to a reasonable extent (like those you really trust) is perfectly fine, it's being open to the general public that could go very wrong very fast.

So I would say you are good, I would be open to my family if I could, but it would probably go wrong very fast if it got to my grandma (my family tolerates her, but she is an awful person who claims to be a Christian but doesn't act like a real Christian should; and that's putting it mildly), I could definitely see how relaxing it could be to not have to hide it all the time (even my mom questions me at times, but I think she means well)

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Yeah, I can imagine. My grandparents don't know, but I don't think they would care much. I mean, they're super religious but this isn't against religion. Plus, they love lots. But yeah, they wouldn't understand, so I am definitely not telling them. Not because they'd reject me, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable.

But yeah, it's just super cool to be accepted by people I love. Going out to the general public yes, can go very wrong very fast, but my family and friends love me and I check on them constantly to see if they're okay with everything I do.

My family knows about certain aspects of my littleness. They know that I wear footie pajamas and that I use an adult pacifier, and that I love kids' cartoons and shows. That's it though - although even though they know about my paci there's no way in heck I would use it around them or anyone else. I just say it's a comfort thing, which for me, it is.

I find your success story encouraging. it tells me that there are people who are ok with accepting others for unconventional things. Don't worry about other people judging you as you know the relationship you have with those people. It also sounds like you are still respectful of strangers and don't push it on people, which is good, but for those you are close to and trust will be ok, then go for it.

I am still "closeted" about this part of my life as nobody knows, but someday I hope that I will have the courage to tell someone about this part of my life IRL.