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Thread: Is My Best Friend Gay (For Me)?

  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by kik91 View Post
    I know. That's the conflict. I mean, if it is a bromance, I can deal with that. Yeah, we might not get together, kiss, do other stuff... but we'll still be super close. But if if there is a chance that we could have that, I would take it. I swear I've pictured myself with him... in the altar... getting married. Crossed my mind once or wice...
    If I was you it would be killing me, I get it he may not be ready in some capacity but can you do this longterm with your feelings for him?

  2. #22

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    Next time you snuggle lay your head in his lap and see what happens.

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    Are you rally ready to do it for him?

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Argent View Post
    If I was you it would be killing me, I get it he may not be ready in some capacity but can you do this longterm with your feelings for him?
    I think, eventually, we'll have to talk about it. But I'm scared. Yes, if he is into me, it would make me happy. But if he isn't, I really don't want to make things weird because I confessed I'm in love with him. But he's the one who keeps giving me mixed signals!!

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by kik91 View Post
    I think, eventually, we'll have to talk about it. But I'm scared. Yes, if he is into me, it would make me happy. But if he isn't, I really don't want to make things weird because I confessed I'm in love with him. But he's the one who keeps giving me mixed signals!!
    Friends being affectionate is a fine thing but when romantic feelings are held on one side only sorry to say it is a recipe for heartbreak.

    If I was you and into someone that gave me those mixed signals for certain I would be asking him to back off the conflicting affectionate stuff until he either tells you he actually is into you or your feelings for him no longer include the romantic side.

    A long time ago my cousin asked me to become a non romantically attached friend with one of her female friends as this friend found it hard to be friends with men and not fall in love with them. We met, discussed how I would never see her in a romantic sense, had a laugh as friends, dinner, parties all that sort of thing then one day she turns up at my parents place.... Long story short my mother went absolutely spare at me for leading the poor girl on despite our BS arrangement, and you know what...

    ...She was right, it was nice to have someone (was was pretty, kindly and genuine) like me even though I actually didn’t feel that way about her. I have no doubt I could have used her and never committed but maybe because I respected her as a person (or maybe I would like to think of myself as having ethics) cut things off with her (with a discussion and an apology for things getting out of hand.)

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    Quote Originally Posted by britches1 View Post
    Next time you snuggle lay your head in his lap and see what happens.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Are you rally ready to do it for him?
    I think kik91 is actually in love with his friend, this might just lead to more complications regardless of what would happen.

  5. #25

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    Quote Originally Posted by Argent View Post
    Friends being affectionate is a fine thing but when romantic feelings are held on one side only sorry to say it is a recipe for heartbreak.

    If I was you and into someone that gave me those mixed signals for certain I would be asking him to back off the conflicting affectionate stuff until he either tells you he actually is into you or your feelings for him no longer include the romantic side.

    A long time ago my cousin asked me to become a non romantically attached friend with one of her female friends as this friend found it hard to be friends with men and not fall in love with them. We met, discussed how I would never see her in a romantic sense, had a laugh as friends, dinner, parties all that sort of thing then one day she turns up at my parents place.... Long story short my mother went absolutely spare at me for leading the poor girl on despite our BS arrangement, and you know what...

    ...She was right, it was nice to have someone (was was pretty, kindly and genuine) like me even though I actually didn’t feel that way about her. I have no doubt I could have used her and never committed but maybe because I respected her as a person (or maybe I would like to think of myself as having ethics) cut things off with her (with a discussion and an apology for things getting out of hand.)

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    I think kik91 is actually in love with his friend, this might just lead to more complications regardless of what would happen.
    Thanks Argent, I appreciate you sharing your story and knowledge.

    It's so hard because I do love him being like that. I love his touch and the way he makes me feel accepted and loved. He's been the best, and he had comforted me in bad times, not to mention take the plunge and actually baby me a little because he knows it makes me happy. I know it's all under very dubious romantic/platonic line, but I really don't want to make his affection go away. Maaan this is so confusing!!

  6. #26

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    Okaaaay...

    Update.

    I talked to him. I came clean. I told him I was in love with him, and that I've been for a while.

    He said that he loves me too... as his best friend. He says he's sorry, but he is straight, and things with his new girlfriend are serious. But he reassured me that he'll always love me. That we can share bed, and cuddle, and be affectionate with each other because he knows we're the best friends ever and that we love each other. Even if it is not the type of love I'm seeking, he does love me and that will never change. And now that I told him, it's okay. Nothing will get weird between us, we're still us.

    So yeah, I kind of feel relieved to know the real deal. But part of me is aching because I do love him like that, but I told him the truth: I want him to be happy, even if it isn't with me. That's all I cared about.

    He agreed, thanked me, and then told me that we're still us. And that I'm still his baby brother.

  7. #27

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    I am glad for your happiness, but I was hoping you would feel him on your back and get what you desire.

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