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Thread: What to do about scars.

  1. #1

    Default What to do about scars.

    So, a three years ago I was hospitalized. Long story short, I had self-harmed. (That is why I am listing this on this forum.) I am making a six year plan to be living 100% on my own in six years. I move into my college dorm in five weeks.

    Iím concerned about having a girlfriend who is supportive of my AB side. But, I am self-conscious about the self-inflicted scars. I donít go swimming when I go on vacations anymore. If/When the person Iím dating is accepting of my AB side, I am still not sure if this person, who it may be, will not be completely freaked by self-inflicted scars.

    Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scamander14 View Post
    So, a three years ago I was hospitalized. Long story short, I had self-harmed. (That is why I am listing this on this forum.) I am making a six year plan to be living 100% on my own in six years. I move into my college dorm in five weeks.

    I’m concerned about having a girlfriend who is supportive of my AB side. But, I am self-conscious about the self-inflicted scars. I don’t go swimming when I go on vacations anymore. If/When the person I’m dating is accepting of my AB side, I am still not sure if this person, who it may be, will not be completely freaked by self-inflicted scars.

    Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
    All I can say is that if somebody really loves you they should not be bothered by it and should realize it's in the past.

    I'm kind of in the same boat as I usually hide my legs due to Self Harm scars, but there are times that I wear shorts and times I have gone swimming, and my family doesn't bring it up; if I had to talk with somebody about it, particularly with a Girlfriend I would let them ask their questions and tell them the truth and emphasize that I have left that behavior behind years ago and have not done it since, and I would assure them I would talk to them in the future rather than to go back to such a thing (if they love you they would be there for you if there ever were such a crisis with your mental health in the future)

  3. #3

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    I feel that mine are my personal red badge of courage. I grew up hard in some tough neighborhoods. I also lived a crazy life. I got hit my a car doing 40 mph when I was 14 and I got a lot more scars from that. If your girl friend is okay with wearing diapers, self cutting/harming shouldn't be a problem for her as long as you are no longer doing it.

  4. #4

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    I think mine were because I had internalized the stress I was subjected to at home (oldest brother too much into drugs, stole family valuables) and school (being bullied in Elementary school and middle school for various reasons, the worst being temporary Incontinence due to a medical reason) and eventually it got to be too much and I was having mental health problems really hard and was self harming, almost hospitalized twice but I used manipulation, out of fear to avoid that.

    It wasnt easy, but I put forward the effort and got to much better, I still have issues at times but I handle it much better.

  5. #5

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    My niece was doing that. She has scars and people rarely ever comment on them. If they do say anything in a mean fashion, she tells them to worry about their own selves. Mostly people are going "I see you have those. I have some too. How are you coping?" And they swap support stories. :3

    I used to bash myself in the head. With my fist or with an object. And no one ever knew WHY. Until finally one day I snapped during one of those events and said "IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T HIT YOU." That woke people up in my family that it was my own weird reaction to things they were doing. It's been a long long time now. I don't have scars from it, but when I get very stressed and angry it starts to come back.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddleWoozle View Post
    My niece was doing that. She has scars and people rarely ever comment on them. If they do say anything in a mean fashion, she tells them to worry about their own selves. Mostly people are going "I see you have those. I have some too. How are you coping?" And they swap support stories. :3

    I used to bash myself in the head. With my fist or with an object. And no one ever knew WHY. Until finally one day I snapped during one of those events and said "IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T HIT YOU." That woke people up in my family that it was my own weird reaction to things they were doing. It's been a long long time now. I don't have scars from it, but when I get very stressed and angry it starts to come back.
    I definitely feel the same, some people I gotta deal with I would probably lose it on if I could without serious consequences; matter of fact I used to have a more explosive attitude in middle school (after a few years of bullying in Elementary school I would no longer tolerate that behavior in Middle school), and in high school I started to tolerate more of that same behavior as most people wouldn't bother me and I only had gone violent once (I guess I couldn't deal with something somebody had done in a bunch of classes I had with the same person anymore).

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CuddleWoozle View Post

    I used to bash myself in the head. With my fist or with an object. And no one ever knew WHY. Until finally one day I snapped during one of those events and said "IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T HIT YOU." That woke people up in my family that it was my own weird reaction to things they were doing. It's been a long long time now. I don't have scars from it, but when I get very stressed and angry it starts to come back.
    My oldest brother does that. It took us a while to figure out, but now we know it's usually because he has a headache. He can't speak, so we couldn't just ask him, but since I have the same kind of headaches and often also feel like hitting my head against a wall, we took a guess and apparently that really was the problem. The problem is, he lives in a type of boarding school, and the people there aren't the most observant, so sometimes when he comes home for holidays he'll have bruises on his temple. (Yes, he'll be moving soon, so hopefully there'll be better people.)

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