That's too much.
I'm sorry for your experience. It sure seems she was lacking the ability to love you. And being loved covers a lot of tough times. That seems to be the reason for your aversion.
A number of the things that were abuse for you (and please don't think I'm demeaning you in any way) were common during the 1950s. As I said just about every child I saw being trained was restrained on the potty.
You went to the potty anytime mom thought it was needed. You stayed until you went or she decided you had spent enough time on the potty.
In regard to the wrists that was unusual. I did observe one boy who had his ankles strapped to the bottom of the chair. As you mentioned touching oneself was not permitted.
A lot of adults thought that masturbation would cause you to degenerate. And unfortunately your mother saw individuals that had problems try to masturbate. And the people she saw did have problems (probably not from masturbation)
My mother watched my sister (who was a year younger than I) and me anytime we might be inclined to touch ourselves. We got caught fondling each other. We were well paddled for that nasty behavior. But I always felt loved even if my bottom was on fire from the paddle.
I wish I could turn back the clock for you and get your mother taught to be a better parent. I'm going to make a second message to this thread in a minute as it is getting too long.
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Caitianx see how well this parallels your experience. My mother called this "the suppository method". The child was put on the potty at when she thought you should poop. You got about 15 minutes to accomplish the task. If you hadn't pooped. No poop you got the suppository.
Yes, she did think it important to have a daily movement. And she wanted it after breakfast. Even after we were well potty trained she wanted see poop. If not, then you were in for a treatment. And I saw at a lot of houses a jar of suppositories or enema equipment out where the trainee could see it. That was to encourage performance.
Suppositories were the standard until we were a little older (maybe three or four). Then it was the big red rubber bag. We were filled and made to hold it before we could go. I thought it was twenty gallons and we held it for 2 hours. But probably wasn't. I think it was about our early teens, we could have EX Lax. But regularity was still the goal.
I remember I decorated the wall with poop when I woke from a nap. I'm sure I was cleaned up and the paddle applied.
tkspanking: My mother had commented quite a few times how my aunt would spank her kids with loaded pants. She thought that just made the aunt's life worse at change time. So I'm sure I was cleaned first.
I hope you aren't jealous because I am not mad about this. My mother always was loving and I think that was the difference. I'm assuming your mother was cold and you didn't feel loved. My wife had a mother like that and it caused her trouble in later life. :smile: I do wish you the best things in the rest of your life.
And for the rest of the world, this does some of what was done in the 1950s. At least this is what I saw.