Honestly, I'm just coming to terms of it as of this month. Way back when during my ears I always wanted to be little. Just the simplicity, the bright colours, and the easier time made me relax. As we as the diapers. ( Noted that when I was a baby, my parents could never afford those thing. ) However, it wasn't until 2012 or 2011 after graduating High School when I finally began to focus on just... well, me. To this side became clear and I after that I joined this community. I wanted to find out if here were others that were like me. To which, thanks to everyone I felt welcomed and normal ( saying normal in a lose term ). I socialized, made friends, and wrote stories that were clean/abdl related. I was well known for my stories, and adorable art throughout the years( mostly an an art website).
Although, it wasn't until I had stopped being active here that I began to slip and become disgusted with myself. I always slipped into the "pleasing everyone" phase. Something I naturally grew up on. And thus, made me drop that side of me not once, but multiple times. I didn't know anyone outside of here yet until some years ago. I some times came to terms but then, at the same time I always felt guilty and overly disgusted even when I knew it was more about me and more about making me feel warm and fuzzy, you know. It wasn't hurting anyone of, course. And it actually made a positive emotional and mental impact on me every time I had some me time; just doodling and acting smol. Heck, I had better sleeping patterns when I was hugging a blanket and wearing a diaper.
It wasn't until 2018 this month where I decided to give it another go officially and so far I have a friend who's kinda been there through my phases. So, I'm hoping along with my rough patches in life, I can officially come to terms. Unlike back then, I can afford the things I actually want! In fact, I bought my dream diapers and I just recently bought my first onesie ( which the onesie is supposed to arrive very soon; onesies downunder. ) so, I look forward to what the future holds.