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joeypp

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So much has been said over the years .Does one choose to be gay or are you born that way.. For me being attracted to diapers and being a baby has been with me ever since I can possibly remember. I don't think its really a choice for me.. I guess its a choice weather I buy or wear diapers, use a bottle, etc. But I can't ever remember a time when I was not drawn to it. How do others feel about this? I fought it for many years but was always drawn back.
 
joeypp said:
So much has been said over the years .Does one choose to be gay or are you born that way.. For me being attracted to diapers and being a baby has been with me ever since I can possibly remember. I don't think its really a choice for me.. I guess its a choice weather I buy or wear diapers, use a bottle, etc. But I can't ever remember a time when I was not drawn to it. How do others feel about this? I fought it for many years but was always drawn back.

I am pretty sure it is not a choice. Why would a teenager who is been brought up in a social environment with certain standards "choose" to do this?
 
Medical scientists have pretty much demonstrated the differences in brain function between heterosexual and homosexuals. Like kik said, who would chose homosexuality? I think the last poll that the U. S. CDC did showed the LGBTQ community to be no more than 4% of the population. If that's true, that really limits the choice one would have finding a partner. Then there's the discrimination one has to deal with, something which has gotten worse, not better since Donald Trump became president.

Being attracted to the same sex is difficult for straight people to understand because they don't experience those emotions, so some jump to some strange and erroneous conclusions, like being gay is a choice or it can be "cured". Being attracted to diapers is much the same though the causes may be very different. The end result is much the same however.
 
4%? I thought Gay people were 10% of the population? Regardless who would choose that, and be in such a vast minority?

I don't think we choose to like diapers either, it's just something that lies dormant in us until we discover that we like diapers (and other things).
 
My being Gay, is not a choice.
It is my innate identity.
The same with being Autistic.
 
I really feel like it's just something that can't be helped. Like being born with brown hair or blue eyes.
 
I can't see how we could be born with it. I could see a tendency toward kinks or however else it is for others but a specific pull to diapers seems impossible to me. Having said that, it feels like I was functionally born with it. The desire is one of my earliest memories and as I grew, it grew from just an errant urge to something that wouldn't be denied, no matter how much I wanted to be rid of it. My orientation is a work in progress; being an ABDL is a fact of my existence.
 
Like most who have already posted, I think it's a part of who we are, I'd be willing to guess that it might not necessarily be innate from birth, but it certainly is something that forms and bonds itself to our psyche from a young age, so much so that it becomes inseparable from who we are.

In any case, it's not something we freely choose, although I guess you could choose to be into it if you came late to the party or if you had a practicing partner who introduced you to it. One of the reasons why I think choice fails to enter into this is because who would choose to be an AB, it's something that takes years to fully accept and explore, something that will always be looked at as a little strange. When this side of myself became apparent from a young age, I wasn't immediately accepting, that took time, I was intially conflicted about wearing diapers and wanting to be a baby again. I was conflicted not because it didn't seem right to me, but mostly because of the social stigma, the whole "diapers are for babies" and "you have to grow up and leave childish things" behind mentality, the former of which is a lie, when I learned they made diapers for adults at 9 it blew my mind and the latter of which is just plain silly, there is such a thing as being young at heart, many people not just AB's can attest to that.

Bottomline, while I don't feel I chose this, it was likely something I always had dormant in me, I certainly don't want to change any of it now. I enjoy being an AB, it's an interesting way to relax, a very pure form of therapy and a part of who I am. It has brought balance into my life, has made me a more open minded person and has brought me closer together with some of the people in my life, from friends to romantic partners. The only form of choice that enters into the equation is like you said Joeypp, choosing when to wear and regress, I save those times for when my work life and my adult responsibilities are in order and taken care of :)
 
Hi everyone,

I see this posted about and talked about often here and elsewhere. For me personally, this is something I was drawn to pre-Kindergarten, so it has certainly never felt like a choice.

I have a biological evolution hypothesis that I think might help explain a part of why something like this happens, but I stress that my intention in sharing this is not to say "this is how it happens" but rather to give some food for thought. I should note I am a scientist/academic, so this is not just me arm-chairing this stuff, but I would never pretend I've corned the market on the origins of ABDL or how it feels (re: a choice or not).

We are mammals and as such the mother-infant bond is a powerful emotional part of our survival. Why? Because lactation is expensive and so there was selective pressure to increase the emotional bond between mother and child. Infants are essentially "ectoparasites" on their mothers and lactation is a huge calorie drain - mothers who bonded emotionally with their infants, and infants with their mothers, were more likely to survive. This goes for all mammals, by the way, not just humans. Okay, great, but how does this relate to ABDL? Because evolution always repurposes things, and when you look at human courtship behavior there are infantile behaviors that manifest themselves as a way for couples to bond, be they gay or straight. So during courtship there is a lot of cuddling, babytalk, holding one another, caressing, and sharing of food, including spoon-feeding each other (here, try this!). This typically results in couples feeling closer and more vulnerable with each other. Now, imagine if for some of us those innate infantile bonding and courtship behaviors had a very strong hold on us - what if we ABDLs are extremely sensitive and excited about these behaviors, more so than is typical. What if we ABDLs are extremes on a spectrum of natural human and mammalian courtship bonding behaviors? Essentially, we get to the point as ABDLs where we are dressing and acting as babies, literally crying out, "I am a vulnerable baby, love me!" At this point, anything that demonstrates baby status, such as diapers, is part of what makes us feel little, vulnerable, and loved.

Having said all of this, keep in mind that we are different, special snowflakes. ;) So, not everyone is going to respond to the infant-mother bonding and courtship bonding experiences the same way. For many people, this stuff is part of life's experiences but it is not as all-encompassing. Also, we all grow up in different families and have different cultural experiences. So this can manifest itself in a variety of ways. And something to keep in mind, Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has noted that for many boys there is culturally the experience of getting to a certain age and then being denied or having greatly diminished physical and social affection -- we as boys are often told not to cry, to grow up, to be a man, etc. So, now imagine if you are already sensitive to the infant-mother bond/courtship vulnerability stuff, and then you are also told you can't have that anymore. Layer on to this that some of us had trouble potty training, others were abused as children, etc., and you get different but interrelated ABDL outcomes.

I am no psychologist and again I don't pretend this is THE answer. But I post it here because I'm tired of feeling like we have to act as a community like there is something wrong with us. I don't think there is. We are just extremes in how we project what everyone else does - a need for love and vulnerability. I think this stuff, whatever the real origins may be, is organic and part of the fabric of being human. And so I don't think it's a choice anymore than I think my height was a choice or my orientation (straight) was a choice. I hope for all of us that we can find the love and affection we crave and need and deserve, and that for all of us out there still beating ourselves up over all of this that we find some compassion for the child inside and for ourselves. Not everyone gets this, not everyone is going to love you for who you truly are. But I think we need to recognize as a community that we do deserve love and respect and affection, most of all from ourselves.

Posted with much love and affection for the ABDL community,

Tab
 
We don't understand human nature very well because it is so complex, but we are aware of at least three things that are known to be significant factors in shaping it: genetics, psychology, and imprinting. These things don't operate in a vacuum but are interdependent. In nature vs nurture debates genetics is nature, psychology is nurture, and imprinting is a combination of the two. Most people have never heard of imprinting but some of the fundamental principles of it have been put to use for years in animal husbandry because it is known to affect mate selection, and other behaviors, in the way it causes attractions to certain objects.
 
I think you think the way you do and that can't be changed. I remember thinking about things like the way a girl looked or dressed, and I remember that male words and pronouns threw me off, and that even though female words and pronouns also threw me off, they felt more natural and flowing (the same feelings exist today). Of course, my mother kept telling me that that was wrong, and now I've been dressing in girls' clothes since I was ten. She doesn't judge it, she just likes to insult me about it (if you knew how my mother operated, you'd understand). The same goes for diapers. I wasn't even thinking about them until my father got them when I was 10 or 11, and the first one I wore had me hooked. Some things lie dormant in you, but they're meant to be.
 
I knew it was not a choice for me. I knew it from as far back as I can remember. The urges were always there, but the opportunity was not always there. Even when I stuffed it for 30 years, it was there in the background. Now I don't deny it anymore, I am a much MUCH happier person now. Contented. I could not make this go away even when I wanted it to.
 
I didn't choose to be bi or autistic; it just something I was born as.
 
Poofybutt said:
Like most who have already posted, I think it's a part of who we are, I'd be willing to guess that it might not necessarily be innate from birth, but it certainly is something that forms and bonds itself to our psyche from a young age, so much so that it becomes inseparable from who we are.

In any case, it's not something we freely choose, although I guess you could choose to be into it if you came late to the party or if you had a practicing partner who introduced you to it. One of the reasons why I think choice fails to enter into this is because who would choose to be an AB, it's something that takes years to fully accept and explore, something that will always be looked at as a little strange. When this side of myself became apparent from a young age, I wasn't immediately accepting, that took time, I was intially conflicted about wearing diapers and wanting to be a baby again. I was conflicted not because it didn't seem right to me, but mostly because of the social stigma, the whole "diapers are for babies" and "you have to grow up and leave childish things" behind mentality, the former of which is a lie, when I learned they made diapers for adults at 9 it blew my mind and the latter of which is just plain silly, there is such a thing as being young at heart, many people not just AB's can attest to that.

Bottomline, while I don't feel I chose this, it was likely something I always had dormant in me, I certainly don't want to change any of it now. I enjoy being an AB, it's an interesting way to relax, a very pure form of therapy and a part of who I am. It has brought balance into my life, has made me a more open minded person and has brought me closer together with some of the people in my life, from friends to romantic partners. The only form of choice that enters into the equation is like you said Joeypp, choosing when to wear and regress, I save those times for when my work life and my adult responsibilities are in order and taken care of :)

I almost always disagree with you but you are 100 percent correct here. Good post!
 
BuffedBaby said:
I almost always disagree with you but you are 100 percent correct here. Good post!

Thanks :)

I'm sorry to hear about that first part though, typically I tend to agree with and enjoy your posts. To each their own. I'm glad that we and it seems like everyone else who has posted here, can agree on this :)
 
Poofybutt said:
Thanks :)

I'm sorry to hear about that first part though, typically I tend to agree with and enjoy your posts. To each their own. I'm glad that we and it seems like everyone else who has posted here, can agree on this :)
Just differences of opinions though, I respect the heck outta ya!
 
BuffedBaby said:
Just differences of opinions though, I respect the heck outta ya!

Cool, great to hear. I respect you as well :)

Thanks again :)
 
Drifter said:
We don't understand human nature very well because it is so complex, but we are aware of at least three things that are known to be significant factors in shaping it: genetics, psychology, and imprinting. These things don't operate in a vacuum but are interdependent. In nature vs nurture debates genetics is nature, psychology is nurture, and imprinting is a combination of the two. Most people have never heard of imprinting but some of the fundamental principles of it have been put to use for years in animal husbandry because it is known to affect mate selection, and other behaviors, in the way it causes attractions to certain objects.

I think "imprinting" is quite commonly known about. I've seen several children's cartoons where hatching ducks assume the first animal they see is their mother.

I prefer to think of it in terms of "genetic disposition" and "cultural indoctrination", but I agree with the gist of what you're saying.

Starlight99 said:
I think you think the way you do and that can't be changed. I remember thinking about things like the way a girl looked or dressed, and I remember that male words and pronouns threw me off, and that even though female words and pronouns also threw me off, they felt more natural and flowing (the same feelings exist today). Of course, my mother kept telling me that that was wrong, and now I've been dressing in girls' clothes since I was ten.

I think that transgenderism is a good analogy for ABDL-ism. Both diaper-wearing and gender are social constructs that couldn't be primarily down to genetics.

In a society with no gender distinction and no diapers, there would be no transgenderism or diaper fetishists.
 
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