Anybody cautious/scared about dating?

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BabyTyrant

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Maybe I'm weird, but I havent ever tried putting myself out there on any websites (specifically for dating, or based off of this/other Fetishes); I guess part of it is just not knowing, but also in a general sense not knowing who you will run into and the kind of things they will try or what they will do after they find out you are into something "weird" (I dont think "weird" is bad or anything, but I also don't want to make people concerned/worried about me or anything like that).

Idk, maybe I'm just harsh on myself, I kinda see myself as a flawed/damaged person and I don't want to drag anybody down with me, you know?

I mean, maybe I will always have a flawed self image as a person diagnosed with mental health problems (closest to Bipolar, without being diagnosed type 1 or 2), and somebody that has done a lot of self harm in the past (but not in over 5 years) but idk.
 
Hey BabyTyrant, I feel exactly like you. Because of my disorder, I see myself as a damaged person who doesn't want to drag down anyone. And with the ABDL side, well, it's even harder!! Trust me, I know how you feel. I am also afraid to put myself out there, and I have tried. I really tried. But we have to work with ourselves to get better...

Hugs!
 
Guys, guys, wait. What's that about being "damaged"?..
I don't know much about mental disorders and such, but can't a person adapt to just about anything?

Plus, you know, no one likes ideal people. I mean, if someone is totally ideal, no one will be able to link with him. It's like in a jigsaw puzzle — someone has a flaw, whatever it is, there is always someone, who has just the right quality to fill that flaw.
 
I've been scared too, partly because I know I'm flawed and I'm afraid someone won't accept my flaws (also, I know that person can do better than me, so that sometimes keeps me away), and also because I've been hurt in the past and I'm always afraid of being hurt again.
 
GeraldRoss said:
Guys, guys, wait. What's that about being "damaged"?..
I don't know much about mental disorders and such, but can't a person adapt to just about anything?

Plus, you know, no one likes ideal people. I mean, if someone is totally ideal, no one will be able to link with him. It's like in a jigsaw puzzle — someone has a flaw, whatever it is, there is always someone, who has just the right quality to fill that flaw.

Hi Gerald!! You're right. Thanks for your words. I'm going to try to explain.

You see, when you have gone through so much shit because of mental illness, it does leaves a mark. Some sort of feeling of burden to others. I know, we shouldn't feel that way. We really shouldn't. Specially when you're medicated and you can lead a normal life. But it happens and it sucks. No, we're not "damaged". We just feel that way from time to time and it's tough to get over it. But I'm trying. I'm always trying. I know I am super intelligent, and smart, and funny, and charming. I know I would make anyone happy but... at times, it feels the opposite.

Thanks buddy!
 
I think having a therapy session with a professional would help overcome your disorder.
 
People are dangerously goofy. That's a fact. I've had my share of goofy relationships but mostly healthy. Face the fact that some people would not like you no matter what your social or moral pattern of being you. Don't let it get you down. If somebody uses your diapers as a reason for hate, think about what that person has done to justify putting you down, essentially ruling your life with a velvet leash of "approval"
 
I can completely relate to how you are feeling. Before Grad school I gave up on the thought of having a romantic relationship as I saw myself as someone no one would want to be close with. I can be shy, anxious, overly sarcastic, and strongly opinionated.

Thankfully I was wrong though. I met my wife during grad school. The point being don't close yourself off. No matter what flaw you see in yourself, there is someone who thinks you are beautiful. We are all imperfect in our own way. Don't give up.
 
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At 35, I've tried to find someone for many years, dated a bunch, but nothing ever worked out. I am also super introverted and consider myself to be clinically depressed in some ways. I'm trying to get back into this community now as I find it to be very friendly and supportive. I really don't have many friends in real life either, mostly due to my "private" interests (i.e., wearing and using diapers).

Hopefully, things will work out in the end, but know that you are not alone. We're all here for each other!
 
Ok, well here it goes.

Yep, i am old, 44 to be exact, and still single. I have dated off and on for most of my adult life. Some relationships even turned serious. I was always upfront with anyone I was dating about being incontinent and having to wear diapers. Many times there was never a second date. However there were a few times where upfront they said no problem. But when the relationship became physical to the point of moving to the bedroom, the brakes typically set hard.....the suddenly relized, yes, she does sleep on a bed with a rubber sheet under her sheets, Yes, she does leak pee, even during sex. This really turned off the couple of women I dated (yes, I am bi).

So yes, be cautious, but don't be scared. Be upfront and honest from the get go. I have meet a few other incontinent people that were single, and finally found the right person. Don't give up, don't hide in your room, get out, have fun, meet new people.

Just my 2 cents

Barbie
 
barbiejoanne said:
"But when the relationship became physical to the point of moving to the bedroom, the brakes typically set hard.....the suddenly relized, yes, she does sleep on a bed with a rubber sheet under her sheets, Yes, she does leak pee, even during sex. This really turned off the couple of women I dated (yes, I am bi)."

Very similar responses a few times to this exact scenario. Even being upfront with a potential female partner didn't always guarantee results would not turn sour.

As well as I thought I had prepared a romantic partner about my urinary incontinence and use diapers, etc, the 'acid test' came in the bedroom. I guess it was the sight of or the actual feel of waterproof sheets, diapers or rubber pants at an intimate moment that presented the big AND permanent turn-off.

All was not lost, however. I must also report several relationships that fared much better when SHE was also incontinent and used diapers. Yes, we did still react to the other in padding, etc...but those reactions were in no way a barrier to our amorous bedroom antics.

So, from a male perspective, them's MY 2 cents !

Andrew
 
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