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Thread: Feeling a little stuck

  1. #1

    Default Feeling a little stuck

    Thanks to my anti-depression meds, I feel okay, but have this odd feeling like I missed my chance at a good life. I was wanting something special for myself, but I have no skills or gifts I can use. I'm getting closer and closer to age 30 and have failed to do anything with my life besides buy a car. At this point I would take almost anything, as long as I could live alone and maybe have one special someone.

  2. #2

    Default

    Hi KryanAshford

    I can really relate to this sense of feeling like you missed out on having a good life. This is particularly true if you'd had a major setback (or two) which requires time to heal. I've been in a similar situation myself, and I've also had a tendency to blame myself for things which happened to me which were not my fault. It also took me a while to work out what I wanted to do (or even what I could do, due to a number of disabilities that I have), and getting to that point has not been easy either. Everything has been an uphill struggle, and I'll be honest and say that I've had to use mental health services twice already.

    The best advice I can give is that our past experiences help shape our character - there things we can learn from every situation. In other words, you may think that what you may have been through may feel a waste of time, but there may come a point later in life where your past experiences are very helpful for your present place.

    Which brings me to my second point. You are here. Whatever bad things you've had to deal with so far, you have survived. This builds character. While you may feel like you've failed, to have reached this point as far as you have is a success.

    Thirdly, who says you missed your chance? Is it just yourself or the people around you? If it is just you, what were you hoping to achieve? And by when? And if it is the people around you, why do you listen to them? Do they know you better than you know yourself? You do not need to tell me your answers but it's worth asking these questions yourself.

    Fourthly, I believe that we all have a skill, or a gift, or a trade we can learn. The good news is, you still have time. Depending on what career you're working in (or want to work in) 28 is relatively young. Sometimes it's better to spend time figuring out what to do, before committing to a career. It's a time to gain experience, and also work out what your strengths are. While it may sound mad, it's better you felt this now than later in life, as you have more time to find something that you want to do, rather than spend 30 years in a career you didn't enjoy doing and be filled with regret later in life.

    At some point, we all come unstuck. Life never goes completely to plan. And it's in these moments how we react, and adjust to events as they change, that help build our characters. These events, while difficult, can make us stronger. And if you need help with something, that's nothing to be ashamed about. To me, it sounds like you've come through the worst of your depression and you're now trying to make up for time you think you've lost. You may find in the future, while this was painful, that this was time well spent.

    Decide what you want to do in life. Plan it. Invest in it (where possible). And do it. It may take time to come together, but if you're moving in the right direction, however slowly, this is a success. Because you achieved more in that day than the day before.

    I hope this helps you.
    Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
    Dinotopian2002

  3. #3

    Default

    Lots of things dont come easy in life (unless you were born into a rich and famous family), so it takes a lot of hard work to get things done and shape our lives in a way that makes up happy and satisfied with our accomplishments.

    You could always go to a trade school or a college to pick up skills or a degree or two and that can give you a better paying job.

    There are also jobs at good companies that provide a decent pay and therefore a decent life if you stay with a company for a long time, but you have to look for these companies and it takes a lot of time and commitment to work your way up.

    As for meeting somebody special, that takes putting yourself out there to let people know you are single and looking for somebody to get into a relationship with.

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