Th3F1r3ch1ck3n said:
If it offends you, why bother replying at all? I mean, if something offends me, but doesn't actually do anything to harm me, I generally ignore it.
That being said, it was an opinion, and I stand by it. It's true I'm not a parent, but I do have cousins that are quite young, and if they found my stash, it would be especially awkward for me to explain my diaper interests to them.
Lets just stop there for a second. I am not saying you are a bad person or that your feelings are a terrible thing in what you shared. It seems that you were a tad bit offended by my comments. I didn't mean to cause that, rather, I meant only to share my own observations on this thread and some things that I feel somewhat strongly about because of my own life's experience in parts of this topic.
--what I shared is a perspective that I sincerely believe you are not able to truly understand as you have not been a parent while being ABDL. You have stated here that you are not a parent and have not been in this position. Am I correct in this?
If so, then you literally have no experience in which to place yourself into the position of being a parent and being ABDL other than your own perceptions of what "could be", but is not reality.
Having cousins doesn't make you a parent or understand all that goes along with this. There is no way to understand the emotions and feelings to the practicality of caring for them and the responsibility that goes along with this. In every aspect such as their well-being, emotional development, religious experiences, education, advancement in life, finances, health, etc...
So, while I very much respect your
OPINION on that you do not feel it would be appropriate to be ABDL and have children, you truly do not have the real life parenting experience as to where to judge this other than your own observations as an outsider to this situation. And while you made light of this, the statement of saying it is inappropriate for ABDLs to have children certainly causes animosity among a large number of us who are ABDL and have children.
You do have the right to your opinion, and equally I have the right to mine.
But in your situation, you have not been an ABDL parent, nor experienced any of the life issues that go along with raising children. So, isn't it kind of like a blind person trying to explain why the sky is red when it actuality it is blue --but yet the blind person is convinced it is red (even though they have never seen it) but yet because they think it is so.
ADISC is a site where we are here to support and help each other. Making a statement about ABDL parents being inappropriate is not supportive of others and has little benefit other than to cause contention. That is my reason for bringing this up. It was not meant to cause you angst or be upset, but simply in sharing others viewpoints that are a bit different than what you shared.
I respect your opinion and do not hold anything against you for it. But rightfully so, I share my concerns and hope that you may realize I and others who are ABDL parents have a bit more knowledge regarding the topic than yourself. There certainly are ways that you can be ABDL without introducing this to your children. As I suggested in my original post, take a few minutes to do a search on the site for this topic and you will find many informative and valuable threads regarding this topic.
I also shared that before I became a parent, I myself was concerned about being ABDL and having children:
- Would my ABDL interests somehow interfere with being a proper parent?
- Should I just eliminate my interests entirely during the time while raising children?
- Is it wrong for me to want to wear diapers when caring for my children who actually need them?
- Will I be a bad parent because I still want to be a baby and feel little myself?
I asked myself all of these things. I went through a hell of a lot of deep introspection.
--But as I went through not one, but three children, from infancy to adulthood, it never, even in the smallest sense, was ever a concern.
Being a Dad and taking care of my children, changing diapers and raising them never had any connection with my being ABDL. It just didn't. They were completely separate. There is just something so distinctively different. Like comparing a watermelon to a carrot. Completely different.
Whenever I wore diapers while raising my children, it was kept private, the same I would suggest as other private things, such as having sex with one's own wife. I don't think most individuals would find it proper to have sex in front of their kids, so they keep this separate. The same goes with being ABDL. It is separate. You don't go around wearing or buying diapers in front of your kids. Its equally a private thing.
I am sorry that you found my statement that it was offensive for someone to say its inappropriate to be an ABDL and a parent. But yeah, it truly happens to be offensive. I can't ignore that fact by putting my head in the sand about it.
Th3F1r3ch1ck3n said:
In today's world, saying "Hello" to someone in any language other than English can "offend" someone. Saying "I like [whatever]!" Somehow gives one or two people the "I'm personally offended" bit, make a huge fuss over nothingness, and then suddenly we have to go through tons of media coverage about proper etiquette.
Here's an idea: If something DOES offend you, scroll on by and don't think about it. If you can't do that, then maybe you need to reevaluate what makes you offended.
Or, you know, you could complain and make a fuss for absolutely no frigging reason other than to say "I'm offended" and waste energy reasoning WHY you're offended over a nothing-mountain! Which it seems today that a lot of people are doing just to get some sort of attention onto themselves. "I'M OFFENDED! I DESERVE ATTENTION FOR BEING OFFENDED! MY LIFE IS RUINED AS A RESULT OF BEING OFFENDED!"
So. You know what? Be mad if it gets you through the day. Be offended at every turn, every opportunity, etc. What happens when, after all is said and done, there's nothing left to "be offended" about? Are you going to be offended about not having anything to be offended about?
It's gotten effing ridiculous the amount of offended people are crying foul, and yet, no one stops to think "How is my being offended hurting me? Is it a good use of my time to be offended at all?" Or, I don't know, "Does being offended make me right?"
Just food for thought. If I could delete this thread so that the folks offended by it can finally suckle on their paci and be soothed, I would gladly do so, because this whole thing about the "I'm offended" crowd is just freaking ridiculous as it is, and yet for a forum like this to be tolerant of people sure doesn't show it when someone cries foul over a nothing-mountain.
But yeah, go ahead. Be offended. Waste your energy over dumb shit, I don't care.
If it offends you, TOUGH SHIT!
The comments shared isn't just about being offended. It is about others sharing their own experience and hoping to help others who might be in a similar situation of wondering whether they could adequately be a parent and ABDL and presenting them with real life experiences from those of us who have been through this, rather than the opinions of those who have not.
And yet while that it the greater motive, it is important to recognize that participating on the site is about caring about the feelings of others and being respectful of each other. --At least that is the purpose of this site as I have come to know it. It is about being supportive of others, not putting them down or making statements that is being pretty arrogant in a viewpoint not considering that others may feel quite differently.
(To put this a bit into perspective, I am not one who is easily offended and has to go off suckling on my paci to be soothed when someone says something that I might disagree with. You are talking to a real life cowboy who isn't afraid of "tough shit" as you might so call it. --Name calling and such is nothing compared to getting stomped on by a 2400 lb bull, which has happened to me before. I have shoveled enough bull shit in real life to not worry about some sort of "tough shit" offensive comments. Although a true teddy bear, I am not that easily hurt or bruised, especially by someones comments) --but still, I am going to point out things that are offensive in nature and not contributing to a productive discussion. I hope that in doing so it makes the site better for everyone.
Sooo... I respect the OPs position, but I do not agree with it. It is not supported by those of us who are ABDL parents... ...and those of us who have experience and evidence to back up our position rather than just a belief or opinion.
Ironically, I believe I do have a genuine understanding of where the OP is coming from. Before I became a parent, I had concerns myself over whether I could be a good father if I had these ABDL desires. But in all truthfulness, I sincerely believe I have been, and am now, a better father because of it. Being able to see things as a child has helped me on numerous occasions with issues and circumstances that as an adult I may not have been able to understand.
So, I certainly appreciate the OPs viewpoint --even though I very much now disagree with it. I am now a much older, experienced, and wiser person than I was before I became a parent over 20 years ago. I recognize the naive position that I was in at that time and didn't know how being ABDL might truly affect my being a parent.
I wish the OP the best in his own endeavors. And to everyone who might be considering this subtopic (being ABDL and a parent) I hope that you may not forego the opportunity of being a parent because of your opinions without actually experiencing it. Having your own children is the most amazing and rewarding experience that one can have.
From my perspective, instead of just focusing on yourself, you find the excitement of life and enjoyment coming from being a part of your own children's experiences and lives. Compounding anything you might experience from just being an individual.
...And yes,
you can be a good parent while still being ABDL. These things can and should be kept separate. In researching and viewing threads on this site for over eight years, any threads on this topic come back to the same reality --it simply is a natural thing that they become separate. Being ABDL and a parent diverge greatly and the two interests do not interface with each other.
The experiences I have had are that no diaper and no baby interests even come close to the fulfillment of oneself as in being a parent. But you are welcome to your own opinion.
--I hope that others may read this and understand I am just sharing my views and experience in hopes that others might benefit. I don't mean to stir up contention on this. I hope that the OP may read my message here and understand I am not attacking him, but yet offering a different perspective on what he has shared.
I also hope that anyone who is concerned about this might be able to feel more at ease and do not forego the opportunity of being a parent because they are worried about their being ABDL.
There is a miracle of being a parent that just is beyond anything else you may ever experience in your life. I highly recommend it!
:detective3