hopeless and sad :(

i feel like i'll never be a cute girl that i want to be. i only kinda look like a girl if i take a picture from the right angle, hide half my face behind my hair, and put a filter on the picture. otherwise i just look like a regular skinny guy with long hair

i can't get rid of the thought that i'll never look like anything more than a classic tranny, i can't look at myself without getting anxious at the sight of all my body hair and facial hair, i can't listen to the sound of my voice without feeling sad, i can't even imagine myself truly being a real girl with no ass hair and a sweet voice..

the only way to feel like myself is to be alone in my bedroom in the dark where i can't see myself and can stay silent so i don't hear my male voice and can use my imaginary girl voice in my mind. but that only gets me so far before i start to cry again.. i want to look at myself and feel happy, not be sad about how non girly i really look.

i just hate everything about myself. i know i could try to go through the transition, but that still wouldn't get rid of all the body hair, and i hate the thought of having to constantly eat those expensive hormone pills for the rest of my life.

it's my dream to have a lesbian relationship, but it all feels so far out of reach when i look at myself and see all that disgusting body hair. it just makes me feel so sad and hopeless.. :'(

First of all: I'm not trying to be insensitive, and I just want to point out that I am a cisgender girl, so I know I can never truly understand what you're going through. However, I can relate to some things you're saying.

I've always had a rather masculine build, with wide shoulders, broad hands and annoyingly muscular calves. But, as I've learnt (and it took me a while, believe me), there are a lot of ways you can use clothing (or even makeup, though I'm not very good at that) to accentuate or mimic a feminine body shape without it looking fake. If you want to, I can explain some things I do in more detail, but I don't want to bore you with a lengthy explanation right now^^"

As for the body hair, have you tried waxing or shaving it off? I grow quite a bit of pretty visible body hair (not as much as a man, but still) and when I can't hide everything under layers of clothing like I do in winter, I wax most of it off. Shaving is the less painful option, but you have to repeat it almost every day and the stubble itches, especially on the legs.

I'm sorry I can't give advice on your voice...but I can say that I know awesome women with very deep voices, and personally I find deep voices less grating on my ears anyway^^ (I know, not helpful...sorry)

I am a transwoman living full time for about 2.5 years now. I have a few feminine features that help me.. my eyes I'm told are very fem and I have no visible adam's apple to speak of, Other tha that I was a pretty average looking male. I shave my arms chest and leg (Other is fake no need to shave lol) I don't take hormones (although I really want to) have bout fake breasts designed for trans. It will take work and effort you are not going to get a female look without work. I have had people ask me if i had laser and stuff when all i did was shave and makeup and i still thought i could see it. You are much moire critical of yourself than other will be.

The biggest advice I van give any new girl is to develop confidence. Don't shy away, don't hold your head down...Act like the woman you are. and people will believe it. acting nervous makes them question why and look for reasons.

I have not really adjusted my voice just try and be a little softer and use more feminine terminology.

biggest thing is practice and building confidence. can't stress these enough

I sympathize. Feel the same way myself from time to time, I wish I could offer some advice but that's not really my strong suit. I will say this though, don't give up. I always try to think positively (If not throw a little joke into it), if they can make Vanna White (She's like 70 now I think?) from wheel of fortune look like she's only 25, makeup and the right outfit can go a long way into making you look the way you want to look. Don't look down on yourself, just because sometimes you may not look the way you want to doesn't mean it's bad, we all have bad days, hell, I look pretty crappy most days but I don't put in the effort unless I'm going out. Over time, if you put in the right amount of work you'll find that certain things come naturally, (Like making your hair sit just right and finding the perfect outfit that makes you feel and look super girly) It may seem hard at first, maybe even hopeless, but it's not. Keep trying, you'll find something that works for you, even just brushing your hair into a different style or wearing a different outfit sometimes is all it takes.

Everyone who transitions gets different results.
Some become beautiful butterflies, while others get stuck as moths.

Yeah it sucks. I feel your pain in this. I'm a transgirl that got kicked off her hormones for medical reasons not under my control. The biggest thing about helping with passing is attitude, but besides that, you should look into make up guides. Do a google search for transgender contouring make up guides and the such, and there is a plethora of info out there. You'd be surprised what five to ten minutes of simple techniques (with practice) can do for you.

Hang in there girl, and remember that there are tons of us with you in this battle.

I understand your pain too well...

I love dressing up in girly things, but whenever I look in the mirror that girly feeling gets ruined pretty quick whenever I look at my face and what I'm wearing in the same image. I'm one of those who doesn't really want to go through with transition, as I still accept myself as male, but I do want to be able to pull off an effeminate appearance overall. This honestly drives me nuts that I can't look in the mirror without mentally shaking my head at appearance.

i guess certain things just aren't meant to be. i get so sad when i see a cute girl and know i'll never look even half as cute..

Alexia said:

i guess certain things just aren't meant to be. i get so sad when i see a cute girl and know i'll never look even half as cute..

Click to expand...

This applies to those of us who are biologically female, but not blessed with cuteness, too. I’ll never look in the mirror and see what I want to see.

Yeah, not all girls are cute.

Me? My teeth are weird from having them smashed as a kid. (It was an accident and the dentist did the best he could for what was left of them) So I have actually smiled at someone and had them recoil from me. I once started talking to a doctor and he said "Can't you do something about those teeth?" And I was like "I'm here for a work physical so unless you're secretly a dentist who is gonna fix 'em for free, shut up about 'em. And if I might say so, do something about the coffee stains on your own." (I use them as a sort of kooky barometer to decide if I should invest time talking to someone or not. )

your best friend is within you. Also the whole schtick of "glamor" is an over-rated consumerism where boys and girls alike are supposed to be desperately franticly buying all they can afford to achieve a "look" which about 5% of the population have. That makes a minority smaller than every flavor of Gay, according to the Kinsey report estimated at 10% of the population. And the vast majority of Adult Babies don't look really babyish. Butt we have fun doing it.

I am probably not overly qualified to comment here not being a sissy myself just an admirer of them but my two cents is that it is the exagerated feminine qualities of a sissy that are attractive more than anything. Keep your chin up there is all kinds of people in this world and there are certainly some that will see you as perfect just the way you are.

After wearing for 50+ years, I have trained my brain to only look at my body and the clothing, and "block out" my face/head. Honest.

Alexia, I know exactly how you feel. Every word you said goes through my mind every day. You are not alone. You aren't just a "classic tranny", you are much more. Even though, as you said, you covered up a lot of your appearance, for your profile picture, I think you're really really cute. Honestly, even if you weren't covering your face, I'm sure you'd still look good. You may not see all the beauty that's there, but I do. <3

CuddleWoozle I'm sure your teeth aren't weird, and I'd personally like to see your smile. Here's mine now yours

You could definitely transition.

And don’t worry about taking medicine for the rest of your life. Lots of people are stuck taking medicine their whole lives. And while surgeries can be expensive, hormones don’t have to be. I’m on a little bit of a higher dose, and I pay under $50 a month even without insurance. Check out GoodRx. The two most trans women, at least here in the states, take are Spironolactone and Estradiol. Estradiol, the estrogen, is usually tons cheaper than Spironolactone, and once surgeries occur, you don’t need to take Spironolactone any more. I think the monthly cost of Estradiol is usually under $20. Some people transition on just Estradiol and they do just fine.

If there are any Planned Parenthood locations around, you can see if they do “informed consent” in regards to hormone replacement therapy. That’s the fastest and easiest way to get on hormones by far for most people. But a lot of people say the “right” way to get hormones is to talk to a therapist trained in trans issues until they sign off on hormones, and then get an endocrinologist to give you hormones from there. But Planned Parenthood is fine if you know that you’re trans.

Body hair... is what it is. And I’ve got a ton of it. But I know a lot of cis girls with the same or more than me. It might never thin as much as I want, but laser and waxing are always options. You can always shave your body hair or not.

Facial hair, if you want it gone for good, will definitely require either laser or electrolysis. Most people prefer getting laser done first if it’s an option, because it vastly speeds things up going into electrolysis. For laser you typically want dark hair and light skin for best results, but if you don’t have that, you should still probably get a consultation done to find out for sure if it’s an option. You can find Groupons for laser hair removal all the time, but you should call and talk to the people first and see that they use either Alexandrite or ND Yag laser, as those are some of the higher quality ones, and other lasers may not give you the results that you want.

Have you given voice training a try yet? I know that it can be a very dysphoric experience, but you won’t change it without some work. Trans girls voices rarely ever change on hormones, so almost all of us end up voice training to fix it. The Reddit “transvoice” has a lot of good tips, exercises, and videos that can help. And even if you don’t want to hear yourself, doing some of those exercises regularly for awhile can SERIOUSLY help. And some of them you can do without making any noise.

Doubling up on the body hair again to say that a lot of women struggle, or don’t struggle, with having body hair, and shaving, waxing, laser, or whatever definitely exist. My cis girlfriend, with a ton of body hair, does nothing about it usually. Like, your body hair might be worse than the body hair on a woman who waxed every week or two, but most people have body hair worse than that.

Things get better, but usually you have to do something about them first. I know that it’s hard, but if it’s what you want, what you need to feel happy in life, you should go through with it. Transition isn’t magic, but even people who don’t pass usually like the changes that happen. And having the right hormones will probably make you feel better too once your body adjusts to them.

Source: Me. I’ve been transitioning for over a year, and spend almost all of my free time reading other trans people’s experiences. I have a ton of trans friends and go to my local trans group twice a month. I live with another trans person, and we invite over a third one all the time.

If you have any questions for me, you can put them here? I can’t reply to PMs yet, so here is the best for now.

P.S. Sorry if this is too much and it looks like I’m giving ‘medical advice’. If this is not allowed, please just delete it and let me know, rather than banning me. Thank you mods!

P.P.S. Oh I got here late. But I hope it helps.