Infantilism and pornography

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KSABDL

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  1. Adult Baby
  2. Diaper Lover
I have been researching this topic for sometime and have noticed a growing trend among those who espouse to be ABDL, are engaging in many perverted and damning activities related to wearing diapers.

I know there is a market for such slanderous behavior, but to call yourself ABDL while engaging in sexual deviance does nothing, but propagate the thought that all we are, is just a bunch of unsavory characters preying on the innocence of children.

Even supporting such smut by viewing and or distributing regardless of age damages our attempt as a lifestyle choice, to overcome stigmas attached to ABDL community at large.

As for me this was the first thing my wife asked me when I opened up this side to her. It is hurtful that she would even say that, but it is the first thought many who come out to family and friends have to overcome.

What say the rest of you? What have been your experiences with overcoming this stigma?
 
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You must be fun at parties.

As George Carlin would say.. "calm down, have some dip".
 
What the heck are you talking about?

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The pornography has nothing to do with children.

Maybe you don’t like it. That’s okay! But no sense in making other people feel bad because they do.
 
Well in my opinion engaging in a sexual act with a person that is regressed doesn’t look good for this lifestyle. I honestly don’t get it. I do look at abdl porn but not the videos of people regressing. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. And honestly if you do like that sort of thing I’d feel uncomfortable with you as well.


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This makes a bit more sense.

To me though, most of the abdl porn to my understanding just revolves around diapers, not regression. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t necessarily get my kicks like this, but everybody is unique. Maybe it has a small ‘taste’ of acting like a little kid, but it’s still grown adults trying to look sexy.
 
Bass said:
This makes a bit more sense.

To me though, most of the abdl porn to my understanding just revolves around diapers, not regression. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t necessarily get my kicks like this, but everybody is unique. Maybe it has a small ‘taste’ of acting like a little kid, but it’s still grown adults trying to look sexy.

I’ll tell you this. There is a T word website that is full of many of videos of girls/guys acting like babies and either pleasuring themselves, or getting pleasure from another person. For me I regress yes, and me and my gf play in diapers but not at the same time!! To me doing sexual things on video with a person in a regressive state has the same impact as posting pics of children posed in abdl racecar diapers. It’s not illegal no, but damn it that’s morally low!!


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The ABDL racecar diapers thing was involving children in something intended for adults. It's kind of a big bad taboo to even bring that sort of thing up. Why would you bring that up?

Two consenting adults getting sexual pleasure from diapers has nothing to do with that.


Also, if you're talking about tumblr and DDlg, as long as its between two consenting adults, I have a live and let live opinion on that. Far from my thing, but if people minding their own business and indulging their own kinks bothers you that much, you're going to have a hard time meeting people outside of a "Vanilla" landscape.

This thread is off the rails.
 
You have been doing "research"? So you have looked at diaper porn, too? Hmm.

Well, not every ABDL looks at ABDL/diaper porn. It is an over generalized statement. Some do. Every one has their kinky side. Not every one who looks at gay porn is gay. Not everyone who looks at bondage wants to be tied up. Not everyone who looks at furries wants to have sex with animals. Ew! It's curiosity. What do these people do? What does this guy do? What does this look like?
 
I guess what i am really asking, have you had someone you told automatically thinks the worst about you because of your choice to wear diapers or paticpate in more indepth baby/regression play? How did it go down? And, what was your response.
 
I think we have enough trouble with the uninvolved thinking of pedophilia without making that leap for them. It's simple: pedophilia is an attraction to children. ABDLs, sexual or not are adults engaging in consensual behavior. If adults want to pretend they're babies, rattlesnakes, or bits of fiberglass insulation in order to get off, that's their business. Maybe you have problems with other kinds of pornography as well, and if so that's... your problem. Don't try to tar us with your guilt.
 
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The point I’m trying to make is that if your partner is “acting like a baby” and you get turned on and have sex with them then post a video of that on the internet and vanilla people see that well it’s not shedding a very good light on those in this lifestyle that want to be accepted as just trying to enjoy diapers. It’s one thing to wear diapers and engage in sexual contact. I for one do that a great deal. Saying that outer lifestyle has nothing to do with kids and then posting videos depicting people doing sexual things with someone acting like an infant/toddler is an oxy moron to most. I’m not saying all ABDL porn is bad or wrong, I’m saying the videos involving regression is very distasteful at best!!


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squishypants said:
The point I’m trying to make is that if your partner is “acting like a baby” and you get turned on and have sex with them then post a video of that on the internet and vanilla people see that well it’s not shedding a very good light on those in this lifestyle that want to be accepted as just trying to enjoy diapers. It’s one thing to wear diapers and engage in sexual contact. I for one do that a great deal. Saying that outer lifestyle has nothing to do with kids and then posting videos depicting people doing sexual things with someone acting like an infant/toddler is an oxy moron to most. I’m not saying all ABDL porn is bad or wrong, I’m saying the videos involving regression is very distasteful at best!!

You're free to dislike it. You have no obligation to pay for it or watch it. People with rape fantasies don't want to be raped. It's okay to find an adult acting like a kid or whatever else sexy. It's consenting adults. When ABDLs get a bureau of standards and practices in order to be a member, maybe you can lobby for stricter requirements. Until then, it's an opt in situation and while you can absolutely be squicked and uncomfortable with how some practice it, they're under no obligation to alter their practices for your comfort.
 
I can not imagine what it is you are even talking about. For me this is the most guarded secret in my life. I would imagine it is that way for the majority of people on this board. I doubt the lions share of them have lots of stories about all of the nasty things that people have told them associating AB/DL's with child porn. Allot of people know absolutely nothing about this lifestyle, so why would that be the natural response.

I think that allot of this misconception is, people want to believe the worst about something, especially when they do not understand it.
 
So, I've been out of the scene for a while, but from what I understand, AB/DLism is a sexual fetish. The majority of AB/DLs are turned on by the fantasy of their wearing diapers, engaging in baby play, participating with others who wear diapers or engage in baby play, etc. Obviously, your mileage may vary depending on your particular interests vis-a-vis AB/DLism. But most will experience a sexual component to their fantasies, as I understand it.

Is this perverted? Is this damning? Slanderous? Deviant? Unsavory? Smutty? That depends on your perspective. It may be that way to you, but as you've seen in this thread, many in the AB/DL community would vehemently disagree with you. What do average people think? I think they'd be inclined to agree with you, so you're in good company.

There is an opinion common among young people that normalcy doesn't exist, that what society considers normal is all relative. I strongly reject this. There is a normal, and it results from the aggregation of averages and of common judgments of outliers. It is a social construct, but just because it's a social construct does not mean that it doesn't exist. That's a bit tangential, but I agree with you that this interest is abnormal or, if you wanted to put a negative spin on it, even deviant.

Is there something wrong with that? It doesn't hurt anyone. Even those porn actors who roleplay baby with each other, or whatever they do, aren't hurting anyone because they are consensual adults. So I think it's safe to rule that out.

Are they hurting perception of AB/DLs? Probably. If you showed a video like that to Joe Average across the street and asked him what he thought, he would probably say they were sick or fucked up or something like that. Then again, if you told him in a nonchalant way, "Hey man, I like wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers in my spare time. What do you think of that?" Then would he really be A-OK with that?

My point is that this interest is weird, average people will always find it weird, and we need to accept that.
KSABDL said:
I guess what i am really asking, have you had someone you told automatically thinks the worst about you because of your choice to wear diapers or paticpate in more indepth baby/regression play? How did it go down? And, what was your response.
Yes. It felt awful. I tried my best to clear up any misunderstandings about the interest and, over time, was largely successful. I am more fortunate than many AB/DLs in this regard. Some have undoubtedly had relationships totally ruined or unwarranted accusations slung their way as a result of others' finding out about their interests. That sucks and is worth venting about, but my opinion is that those people probably wouldn't understand even if AB/DLism were totally innocent, non-sexual baby play.
 
KSABDL said:
I have been researching this topic for sometime and have noticed a growing trend among those who espouse to be ABDL, are engaging in many perverted and damning activities related to wearing diapers.

I know there is a market for such slanderous behavior, but to call yourself ABDL while engaging in sexual deviance does nothing, but propagate the thought that all we are, is just a bunch of unsavory characters preying on the innocence of children.

Even supporting such smut by viewing and or distributing regardless of age damages our attempt as a lifestyle choice, to overcome stigmas attached to ABDL community at large.

As for me this was the first thing my wife asked me when I opened up this side to her. It is hurtful that she would even say that, but it is the first thought many who come out to family and friends have to overcome.

What say the rest of you? What have been your experiences with overcoming this stigma?

I would tend to agree with your views on the smut. It especially exploits adults with disabilities, and it really undermines those who are on the autism spectrum. I like the new products that are available, but I clearly disagree with adults who want to publish their own sexual exploits with them. That is best kept private.
 
I am completely lost with this particular thread, not that you guys do not make sense, but that I just cant wrap my head around this type of..."entertainment". And I don't want to. For me it takes the innocence wonder and escapism out of being AB and turns it into something that is just not me.

One thing that I can tell you though is that this general subject of associating AB/DL ism with child pornography makes me feel very low.

It was the most closely guarded secret of my life before I knew this, now even more so.
 
littlemoosey said:
One thing that I can tell you though is that this general subject of associating AB/DL ism with child pornography makes me feel very low.

It was the most closely guarded secret of my life before I knew this, now even more so.

Don't feel that way Littlemoosey. The fact that many people confuse ABDL-ism with child pornography does not mean we have to feel ashamed or bad about ourselves.

I told two people about being ABDL. The first was my girlfriend that time. She asked about the pedophilia thing, I explained, she looked it up on the internet and everything was fine. She never brought it up again.
And recently I told a very close friend and warned her that some people think it has to do with pedophilia. She actually didn't understand why! Like WE already know, she immediately understood that we are not attracted to children but to the status of being a child etc.

So there are people out there who understand and are able to look beyond the first impression. No need to feel ashamed or guilty about something harmless. There is already more then enough for us to worry about when it comes to ABDL-ism.
 
Don't watch that kind of stuff, so I have no idea what goes on in it. (And I honestly don't want to. :p)

But it would tend to make me wonder if it's not them trying to fill a 'niche'. "Oh we have people who are attracted to diapers/people in diapers. Let's get some stuff and start shooting that."

If you disagree with the premise, I would say just don't watch it. I've been here how long now and I still haven't seen actual out-and-out diaper porn? It's because I don't go looking for the stuff 'cause it's not one of my interests. I imagine a sexual AB or DL -would- be familiar with it though. I don't disparage their choices in adult-oriented entertainment.

Also, ask yourself this: A 'regressed' person in a porno is probably not all that actually regressed. :p The same way the people in any other kind of 'odd' porno are. IE: BDSM people are getting tied up and whipped, are they being abused? Not if they asked for it. If a woman is doing a rape-fantasy porno, is she abused? Well, if she asked for it, no. Because it's not abuse or rape if they agreed to it, see? They're playing a part or a game and I would imagine the same would be true for any of it.
 
Maverick said:
So, I've been out of the scene for a while, but from what I understand, AB/DLism is a sexual fetish. The majority of AB/DLs are turned on by the fantasy of their wearing diapers, engaging in baby play, participating with others who wear diapers or engage in baby play, etc. Obviously, your mileage may vary depending on your particular interests vis-a-vis AB/DLism. But most will experience a sexual component to their fantasies, as I understand it.

Is this perverted? Is this damning? Slanderous? Deviant? Unsavory? Smutty? That depends on your perspective. It may be that way to you, but as you've seen in this thread, many in the AB/DL community would vehemently disagree with you. What do average people think? I think they'd be inclined to agree with you, so you're in good company.

There is an opinion common among young people that normalcy doesn't exist, that what society considers normal is all relative. I strongly reject this. There is a normal, and it results from the aggregation of averages and of common judgments of outliers. It is a social construct, but just because it's a social construct does not mean that it doesn't exist. That's a bit tangential, but I agree with you that this interest is abnormal or, if you wanted to put a negative spin on it, even deviant.

Is there something wrong with that? It doesn't hurt anyone. Even those porn actors who roleplay baby with each other, or whatever they do, aren't hurting anyone because they are consensual adults. So I think it's safe to rule that out.

Are they hurting perception of AB/DLs? Probably. If you showed a video like that to Joe Average across the street and asked him what he thought, he would probably say they were sick or fucked up or something like that. Then again, if you told him in a nonchalant way, "Hey man, I like wearing diapers and sucking on pacifiers in my spare time. What do you think of that?" Then would he really be A-OK with that?

My point is that this interest is weird, average people will always find it weird, and we need to accept that.

Yes. It felt awful. I tried my best to clear up any misunderstandings about the interest and, over time, was largely successful. I am more fortunate than many AB/DLs in this regard. Some have undoubtedly had relationships totally ruined or unwarranted accusations slung their way as a result of others' finding out about their interests. That sucks and is worth venting about, but my opinion is that those people probably wouldn't understand even if AB/DLism were totally innocent, non-sexual baby play.

I think we run into trouble trying to describe ABDLs as inherently sexual. It is for me but that's not the case for a fair number of people here. Polling here and elsewhere indicates that most find it at least a little bit sexual but I don't think that justifies an exclusion of those who don't. In that fetishes can be sexual or not (at least in a sense of colloquial usage), I think it makes the most sense to set it all under the umbrella of a fetish in that we're trying to explain why someone would have this unusual desire/urge/compulsion/attraction to diapers and/or baby things, status, or headspace.

I do think normalcy is relative but it's also what it is. I don't worry too much about normal and instead keep my eye more on what I think is likely to produce health, happiness, and productivity. At different points in history or different cultures, we've had some pretty odd versions of normal from our current perspective. Just take corsets or foot binding for example. If you ask me, diapers would be easier to explain as a fad than either of those but those were the norm at their time and place and ours isn't. Maybe it will be one day but I kind of doubt it. I just don't think the public norms are all that important to what we do in private. I do think it's important to grasp how this looks to an outsider but I'm not going to live my personal life in fear of the expectations of random people. We can explain ourselves to loved ones (with variable results). We are not going to be able to make everyone else understand.

littlemoosey said:
I am completely lost with this particular thread, not that you guys do not make sense, but that I just cant wrap my head around this type of..."entertainment". And I don't want to. For me it takes the innocence wonder and escapism out of being AB and turns it into something that is just not me.

One thing that I can tell you though is that this general subject of associating AB/DL ism with child pornography makes me feel very low.

It was the most closely guarded secret of my life before I knew this, now even more so.

Innocence, wonder, and escapism are what you make of them. I'm not at all insinuating that you should do or even look at anything that makes you uncomfortable. I do think it's important to realize that we come at this from different angles and the differences don't make them wrong. It's sad that it's such an easy incorrect conclusion to leap to that ABDLs are pedophiles. Even if we were all 100% non-sexual, I doubt we'd be insulated from that suspicion and they'd be no less wrong. I think all there is to do is to explain how the superficial similarities between us and them still represent a monumental, impassable gulf.
 
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