Escaping the AB lifestyle

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boaty

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Hey guys, I might be wrong, but (for me) being an Ab is mostly a sexual thing. People have said that if you try to quit doing ab acts you'll get depressed and stuff like that. Personally, I find ab activities quite disgusting and they take up a lot of time and energy. Its affecting my mental health probably as i am often stressed about ppl finding out. For hundreds of years people like priests have been celibates without too many adverse effects so I don't see how abstaining from ab tenancies for people like me would be so harmful. How does that sound to you?
 
Abstinence sounds like a recipe for unhappiness to me. As a group, I don't know that I'd hold up priests as an example with all their repressed troubles. Many priests and nuns are decent people trying to right by themselves and their beliefs but I think the repression of their basic urges hasn't done them or society any big favors in the modern world.

As one sexual ABDL to another, I'd say you're much better off finding a way to indulge this in a good way. Stop thinking of it as disgusting. It's no worse than any of the weird things that humans get up to in accepted courtship and intimacy. Find the right people to share it with and I think you'll be surprised with how "right" it can feel. We are fulfilling basic human needs, we just use different stuff to get there.
 
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boaty said:
Hey guys, I might be wrong, but (for me) being an Ab is mostly a sexual thing. People have said that if you try to quit doing ab acts you'll get depressed and stuff like that. Personally, I find ab activities quite disgusting and they take up a lot of time and energy. Its affecting my mental health probably as i am often stressed about ppl finding out. For hundreds of years people like priests have been celibates without too many adverse effects so I don't see how abstaining from ab tenancies for people like me would be so harmful. How does that sound to you?

Sounds like to me you have already come to your conclusions. I am not sure why you would "waste time" signing up here looking for validation; while at the same time in a back handed way insult the people you are looking for validation from.

I repressed it for 30 years. I am much, MUCH happier now that I have accepted and embraced it.

Personally I do not find it either a "waste of time" or "disgusting".

Time to move on nothing to see here really.
 
You might want to simply find a way to accept yourself. Maybe go talk with someone?
 
I am sorry; I did not seek to insult you (or anyone else) in any way. I meant it as a waste of time as in any other fun activity such as going to the movies but I find it a little too time consuming for some reason compared to other things.
 
I sometimes feel this way, so I have one or two days a week that might be baby days. Of course, I can do that because I'm mostly retired. The other days are simply adult days with me doing adult things. My feeling is that if I don't want to be in diapers, then I don't wear. When the urge hits and if it's practical, then I put on a diaper and enjoy it. A lot of it has to do with balancing one's time.
 
boaty said:
I am sorry; I did not seek to insult you (or anyone else) in any way. I meant it as a waste of time as in any other fun activity such as going to the movies but I find it a little too time consuming for some reason compared to other things.

OK, perhaps poorly stated. I don't think that it is a waste of time though. Not in my case anyways. I do the same things, sometimes I just do them while diapered. That is: sleep, nap, watch TV, shop, go out to eat. Sometimes I am not diapered at all, sometimes depending on my schedule it might be days. But boy does it feel good when they come on and I just let go and relax. Recently when talking with my niece, (a counselor, but does not know I am AB) she told me I am a completely different person.

Opening up with my wife about this, saved me and my marriage. It was the best thing that I ever did. That was after 30 years of stomping it down. Not because I thought that it was a waste of time or disgusting but because I thought that my wife would never accept this in me. Boy was I ever wrong. Our relationship has never been stronger or have we been more in love. I would never go back.

Dogboy is right, balance is the key.
 
Since we have a compulsion that isn't socially acceptable it will probably conflict with our desire to take part in social events at times. To me, "balance" means accepting that reality and making adjustments so I can get on with my life as pleasantly as possible without needless guilt or worry. I'm not saying it's easy, but many people here say it is possible, and I agree.

Also, you really don't know what struggles different priests go through. From what I've heard they aren't all that perfect. Having ideals to strive for can be good, but basing the correctness of your behavior on some ideal image of how certain other people behave is probably more stressful than useful.
 
I'm going to echo some of the sentiments of my fellow posters here, abstaining and repressing these desires can be unhealthy in and of itself. I know many people, ABDL's, people with other fetishes and sexual orientations that tried to repress and conceal that side of themselves only for it to contribute to their personal detriment i.e. low self-esteem, lack of a personal life, suicide attempts etc. I think being ashamed of these desires, not fully understanding them, not learning to accept and live with them is a recipe for unhappiness.

I have known about my baby side for years, my first inclination wasn't to hide from it or to repress it, my first inclination was to explore it, to learn about it more. I have now fully come to terms with being an AB and yes, while it is certainly interesting, something I don't want everyone to know about and something that not everyone will understand, it hasn't impacted my life in any negative way, on the contrary, I find being an AB to be a very positive thing, it has lead to many interesting relationships and friendships, it has been an effective way to relieve stress and it has made me a happier person on the whole, it has even brought a sense of balance into my life.

I try to regress and baby out at least once a week, but I tend to do so when I need a break or if I have the time. In addition to being an AB, I still do adult things, I still socialize within the adult world, I have a life that goes on separate from my AB side, I have friends, hobbies, other interests.

You seem to be speaking from a place of impeded self-acceptance, your concerns seem to parallel the concerns that many novice AB's have; a fear that being an AB can inhibit your adult life, that AB will take time away from other interests, that being an AB will make you less desirable to romantic partners and friends. I can speak from experience when I say, that being an AB will only work to your detriment if you allow it to, I have a plethora of interests that AB hasn't taken time away from, I also have tons of friends, some of whom are knowledgeable about my AB side and accept it, I've even had multiple relationships with girlfriends and friends who have been accepting enough to Mommy me when I regress. Being an AB hasn't derailed my adult interests or my ability to exist within the adult world and I'm sure that is the same for nearly every AB and DL on the site.

Also, if you are stressed about being caught, I'll tell you that as long as you engage in private, chances are you won't be caught at all and you shouldn't let that stress culminate into paranoia, that's a whole other problem that likely won't go away even if you abstain from AB related activities.

My best advice to you, is to do some soul searching, really consider if this is something you can conceal, hide and shy away from? Ask yourself, is being an AB what is getting in the way of other interests and wasting time for you or is it something else? There's no reason why you can't indulge and acknowledge this side of yourself and continue leading a normal adult life with outside interests. Best of luck to you :)
 
Hi Boaty,

No harm in trying to reinvent yourself.

I think in this wide old world some people can thrive on depriving themselves or living in denial, if though you find yourself living in misery please head away from that dark path.

Just know we accept you here whatever you decide.
 
I don't think keeping this side of you bottled up is a good idea. Your AB side is a part of you, why not explore it more before making a decision? Maybe there is something you haven't found yet. Acceptance is something that's very important, especially when it comes to yourself. If it makes you feel better, I am actually struggling back and forth between accepting and not accepting of one of my own kinks (both sexual and nonsexual). But I do know that I have to learn to accept it eventually, and I think I will once I get to actually explore it. It's best to push away that it's disgusting, simply because there is many more sexual interests that are very "weird" and "unique" in themselves. Maybe think about what you really like about your AB lifestyle instead of what you don't like. And focus on that thought for a bit. But if you feel like it's too time consuming, then maybe learning time management is what you need as well. We have to learn to manage our time and when to say "Enough is enough for now, time to move on to something else..." I usually can do things for a very long time, but I have to put it down once I want to do another thing/hobby I like. Whatever you do in the end is your choice of course, but always know what you're doing first, otherwise you could be making a mistake.
 
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