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Thread: How is your non-abdl relationship?

  1. #1

    Default How is your non-abdl relationship?

    I'm looking for a little advice from my fellow members that are in a non-abdl relationship where thier partner knows, but does not want to participate. The biggest question is, "does it work out?"

    A little background, I am back on with my on and off girlfriend (call her E) of about 7 years. About when we started dating, I joined this site. Over the next 2 years or so, I came to accept my do side and (good this sounds cheesy) I learned to love myself and all my flaws. E is an incredibly emotionally intelligent woman, and she has in general been the best partner I've had in my adult life. So I shared my DL side with her, and she was horrified. That hurt a lot. over time, she has accepted it as a part of me, but still a part of me that she does not like. I am allowed to indulge on my own time, but she is uninterested. She says it's ok for me to descretely indulge when she is there, but she tries not to touch me and does not show affection if she knows I am wearing a diaper.

    Does this sound like a relationship you are in? One you've had before? I would love some advice from our more experienced members to help me think thru this. We have a few other things we are trying to work thru, but you guys are the experts on this one!

    Thank you in advance for your help!

  2. #2


    Hey there Moicano,

    I had a similar relationship with a girlfriend once. My first girlfriend was totally not into the whole diapers and being a baby thing herself so she left me time and space to indulge in private, away from her. This arrangement did work for me, it showed to me that my girlfriend was at least understanding of my AB side to some extent and I respected her for giving me the privacy and freedom to continue exploring and indulging that side of myself. So, does it work out? Yes, it does, but you have to make sure that it's an arrangement you yourself can be completely OK with.

    I could have continued my relationship with my first girlfriend, but we mutually called it quits because we found our personal interests and school lives heading in wildly different directions. Since that relationship I have been lucky enough to have had a relationship with a 2nd girlfriend who was willing to be my Mommy and a current relationship with a Mommy friend who takes care of me from time to time and who I hang out with as an adult on occasion. Having had a taste of what it's like to have a willing and fully accepting partner, if I had to go back and do that first relationship over again, I'd probably say no, not because the relationship was poor in any way, but because I have now grown accustomed to sharing this side of myself with someone else and I now realize that the acceptance and participation of a partner is something that is very important to me. So yes, relationships like what you are dealing with currently can work and they can be healthy and rewarding, but they only truly work if you are content with that set up. If you want a partner who is more proactive and participatory in your diapered goings on, then you may have to do some soul searching and determine if your current relationship is right for you.

    Of course, I also believe that personal compatibility should win out. If you really click with this person on nearly every other level then by all means remain in the relationship, she is giving you the space to indulge and explore so she's clearly not completely against it. I think it's a slippery slope when being an AB or a DL determines everything in the relationship, you have to be compatible on a personal and an adult level as well. In hindsight, this is another reason why that first relationship I had ended, we found we weren't as compatible as we initially thought. I had much more in common with my 2nd girlfriend/Mommy and I have much more in common with my current Mommy friend than I ever did with my first girlfriend and as a result these recent relationships have been much more fulfilling on all fronts.

    I hope this helps and good luck to you

  3. #3


    I've been married 17 years now, and my wife generally doesn't participate in anying diaper related with me, but is generally accepting. She is fine with me openly wearing a diaper around the house, will pat my diapered butt, and often calls me baby.

  4. #4


    Thank you Slomo and Poofy! We still have a lot to talk about, but this really helped me gain some perspective

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Moicano View Post
    Thank you Slomo and Poofy! We still have a lot to talk about, but this really helped me gain some perspective
    No problem,

    I'm glad our experiences have been helpful.

    Best of luck to you and your current relationship

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Moicano View Post
    Thank you Slomo and Poofy! We still have a lot to talk about, but this really helped me gain some perspective
    Same here, glad we could help.

  7. #7


    My girlfriend was okay at first but she is getting more and more uncomfortable with her own privet parts, and everyone elses really. She used to rp abdl things but now... She seems so grossed out by it...
    She and I are real stressed. I should talk to her about this one day...
    She had some- not fun times with her relatives. Abuse to her and her- womanhood-...
    I think thats why she finds it not so fun.
    Lots of trauma

  8. #8


    Its a tough situation to be sure. On the one hand, I would tell you that if your relationship is sincere and true, then you shouldn't let diapers get in the way. But the truth of it is that your diaper interests likely are not going to go away, and perhaps your GF disinterest and negativity towards it may grow even stronger.

    My best advice is to be completely truthful with her about how you feel and then be completely unselfish as you listen and try to understand how she feels. If there is not a level of understanding or acceptance that you both can come to, then don't waste your entire life trying to make something work that may never happen. But on the other hand, if she shares with you that she may not understand but loves you regardless but just doesn't feel comfortable with being a part of this, then figure out what compromises can be made. Make sure she understands how much you love her and want her to feel okay and not hate you or be grossed out by this.

    I hope that things work out for you. But as much as I encourage you to think of and care for your GF and her interests, you still have to look out for yourself, and ultimately how these differences might not only affect you and your GF, but children and others that may come into your life.

    Best wishes

    Last edited by TeddyBearCowboy; 27-Apr-2018 at 14:10.

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