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Thread: Getting a Second Opinion / Diaper Embarrassment

  1. #31

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    I remember going through the ringer of doctors and urologists when i first started having to wear diapers all the time, i wanted nothing more than to not have to wear a diaper all the time. That obsession was however short lived and after several painful tests and several medications that not only didnt work reliably causing me to have to use a diaper anyway but they also caused side effects that i could not deal with i finally just got to the point where i realized that the diapers just were not that bad and i have worn them 24/7 since. If i had it to do over i would not have wasted my time, money or energy on doctors.

  2. #32

    Default

    I was able to see my doctor this week. She explained to me that there are two muscles that control urination. One is automatic, the other is one that we have control over. She said that the one I can't control is relaxing too early, this is why I keep getting the sudden urge to pee with pain when I hold it.

    My doctor started me on Oxybutynin, I have been on it for a few days and I think it may be working. I still wake up to pee in the middle of the night but my need for the bathroom seems to be reduced. She also claimed my medication is causing my UI / OAB. Since there aren't any alternatives, she believes Oxybutynin will work for me. One odd thing that raised some alarms, my urine has abnormal traces of blood in it. I have been referred to a Urologist to figure out what is causing it and if it is serious or not.

    Has anyone else had much luck with Oxybutynin?

  3. #33

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by iam32bit View Post
    I was able to see my doctor this week. She explained to me that there are two muscles that control urination. One is automatic, the other is one that we have control over. She said that the one I can't control is relaxing too early, this is why I keep getting the sudden urge to pee with pain when I hold it.

    My doctor started me on Oxybutynin, I have been on it for a few days and I think it may be working. I still wake up to pee in the middle of the night but my need for the bathroom seems to be reduced. She also claimed my medication is causing my UI / OAB. Since there aren't any alternatives, she believes Oxybutynin will work for me. One odd thing that raised some alarms, my urine has abnormal traces of blood in it. I have been referred to a Urologist to figure out what is causing it and if it is serious or not.

    Has anyone else had much luck with Oxybutynin?
    I tried Oxybutynin, and while it did improve the situation somewhat by reducing bladder spasms, for me, it didn't improve it enough to offset the side effects, which for me included a constant headache. Also, the improvement wasn't enough to get me out of diapers, so I chose to quit taking it. As you may notice, I use the phrase "for me" as these are my results and yours may be different. Please keep us informed of how it is going as well as what the urologist says. I hope it works for you and that the traces of urine are easily resolved. Good luck!

  4. #34

    Default

    For whatīs itīs worth, here is my take on the matter.

    I feel you. The whole embarrassment situation is something completely understandable. Espacially taking your traumatic backstory into account.
    When I had to face the fact that incontinence will accompany me probably until the day I die(I was in my mid/late 20th then) I wished I could just stop existing.

    But since I always had a grim resolve and practical take on life I finally managed to accept and even be thankful for diapers. Who knows, maybe you can get something positive out of it.

    After I finally visited a doc and opened up to him in order to start some form treatment the ice was cracked. So I decided to make one more step and open up to my parents. It was gut-wrenching hard but ultimately very rewarding as they where as compassionate as you would hope of the very people that brought you into existence.
    That calmed me a lot. I began to think about this fear and panic of wearing diapers(even if it would be, hopefully, not for ever - spoiler alert: that hope was shattered). Why is that so? I encountered so much more people sharing this fear. Incontinend or ABDL, it was the same fear. So I digged relentlessly into this matters and found a very convincing and relatable, logical explanation from a psychologist for the general fear/disdain for diapers. It was a revelation unfolding before my eyes.

    We have all been unintentionally been brainwashed by our parents(and they have been by their parents and so on).

    Like I said - unintentionally. The motivation was a good one. Itīs one of the stories from the box "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
    More directly or not the overwhelming number of us was potty-trained with a metaphorical gun to our head. "Big boys/girls donīt use diapers."
    While it is logical and highly beneficial to learn the control of bladder and bowel, the path of tying it to adulthood and starting becoming a respected person of human society have horribly backfired.
    Because the conclusion is: "If I donīt learn to use a toilett Iīm worthless." That is a harsh way to tell it, but it ultimately comes down to it. You never articulate and even realize it fully as an infant - but it happens in your subconsciousness. You want to please your parents, you want to be like them. It is only natural - but the way it is communicated has let to a world where diapers are frowned upon.
    That is, if we are aware of it or not, why we see the need of diapers as a social failrue. That is the one and only true source of the embarrassment that comes with wearing diapers as an adult. A voice in your head says: "You failed!"
    That voice is almost as old as you. It helped you on your road to grow out of diapers but now it pulls you down. You learned a wrong take on incontinence from the beginning of your aware life.

    "The most dangerous enemy is the one you do not see because you donīt know/see him."
    "You are your worst enemy"

    As I realized all this, I was able to identify and work against it. Revert the mental conditioning that caused this confusion. My view became clear and rational again.
    Diapers are not my enemy, nothing to hate on. They A L L O W me to take part in social life, NOT prevent it. As I can walk outside and do what Iīve done before without the fear of messing my clothes and sorroundings. Diapers make this possible. Otherwise I would succumb in my home. They are a blessing, a redemption - nothing less.

    It is a long way to embrace this truth. A way you can only walk by yourself. But it will make you whole again in this matter. You can be at peace with it.

    True, some treatments and/or medicine can give you back you continence. And it is worth the hassle of grinding through doctors and hospitals. But what happens if not or you still need a diaper because it canīt be perfect again? What if there are side-effects much worse or dangerous than a soiled diaper?

    Sure, there are people who canīt deal with it. But noone forces you to tell anyone. I go to work and noone knows about my problem. There is no need for them. But if the situation would arise, so what? I tell them the whole, sad story.
    As I climbed my way back to "normal" and opened up to my friends I only made positive experiences. And if someone makes fun of you or anything like that - you know their true colors and can dispose of them like a full diaper. I can act as a filter to get rid of scum-people in your life. Not to mention that is possible to apply legal treatment to folks who make fun of impaired people - especially at work.

    Be confident of yourself, a diaper do not make you less!
    Think about what I wrote. It might take some time for it to fully sink in. As others suggested, it might be a good idea to talk about the issue with a professional to overcome this.
    If the side effects outweight the gain - diapers might be the solution.

    Cheers

  5. #35

    Default

    That was quite possibly the best post on this forum ever. Congrats and well said. You are not alone, but much more able to put it in words.

  6. #36

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by joemama View Post
    That was quite possibly the best post on this forum ever. Congrats and well said. You are not alone, but much more able to put it in words.
    Thank you. You almost make me blush.
    I just wish I still had all these bookmarks of the sites where I found the stuff. But they were lost with a harddrive crash 2 years ago. This kinda bugs me. There was so much more in depth information than the short summary I posted here...

  7. #37
    ukeuabuniverse

    Default

    Wearing diapers has nothing to do with the age. In fact, if someone is affected by incontinence problem, this is the ideal way to deal with it. And, if you think, this issue only affects children at younger age- then, think again! As, there are many reasons that adults wear diapers, one must not feel shy to opt for it.When urine is absorbed by any incontinence brief, the surface can become a breeding ground for bacteria and ammonia. Continued bacteria growth can result in urinary tract infections that can lead to further medical issues.

  8. #38

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by LifeInPlastic View Post
    For whatīs itīs worth, here is my take on the matter.

    I feel you. The whole embarrassment situation is something completely understandable. Espacially taking your traumatic backstory into account.
    When I had to face the fact that incontinence will accompany me probably until the day I die(I was in my mid/late 20th then) I wished I could just stop existing.

    But since I always had a grim resolve and practical take on life I finally managed to accept and even be thankful for diapers. Who knows, maybe you can get something positive out of it.

    After I finally visited a doc and opened up to him in order to start some form treatment the ice was cracked. So I decided to make one more step and open up to my parents. It was gut-wrenching hard but ultimately very rewarding as they where as compassionate as you would hope of the very people that brought you into existence.
    That calmed me a lot. I began to think about this fear and panic of wearing diapers(even if it would be, hopefully, not for ever - spoiler alert: that hope was shattered). Why is that so? I encountered so much more people sharing this fear. Incontinend or ABDL, it was the same fear. So I digged relentlessly into this matters and found a very convincing and relatable, logical explanation from a psychologist for the general fear/disdain for diapers. It was a revelation unfolding before my eyes.

    We have all been unintentionally been brainwashed by our parents(and they have been by their parents and so on).

    Like I said - unintentionally. The motivation was a good one. Itīs one of the stories from the box "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."
    More directly or not the overwhelming number of us was potty-trained with a metaphorical gun to our head. "Big boys/girls donīt use diapers."
    While it is logical and highly beneficial to learn the control of bladder and bowel, the path of tying it to adulthood and starting becoming a respected person of human society have horribly backfired.
    Because the conclusion is: "If I donīt learn to use a toilett Iīm worthless." That is a harsh way to tell it, but it ultimately comes down to it. You never articulate and even realize it fully as an infant - but it happens in your subconsciousness. You want to please your parents, you want to be like them. It is only natural - but the way it is communicated has let to a world where diapers are frowned upon.
    That is, if we are aware of it or not, why we see the need of diapers as a social failrue. That is the one and only true source of the embarrassment that comes with wearing diapers as an adult. A voice in your head says: "You failed!"
    That voice is almost as old as you. It helped you on your road to grow out of diapers but now it pulls you down. You learned a wrong take on incontinence from the beginning of your aware life.

    "The most dangerous enemy is the one you do not see because you donīt know/see him."
    "You are your worst enemy"

    As I realized all this, I was able to identify and work against it. Revert the mental conditioning that caused this confusion. My view became clear and rational again.
    Diapers are not my enemy, nothing to hate on. They A L L O W me to take part in social life, NOT prevent it. As I can walk outside and do what Iīve done before without the fear of messing my clothes and sorroundings. Diapers make this possible. Otherwise I would succumb in my home. They are a blessing, a redemption - nothing less.

    It is a long way to embrace this truth. A way you can only walk by yourself. But it will make you whole again in this matter. You can be at peace with it.

    True, some treatments and/or medicine can give you back you continence. And it is worth the hassle of grinding through doctors and hospitals. But what happens if not or you still need a diaper because it canīt be perfect again? What if there are side-effects much worse or dangerous than a soiled diaper?

    Sure, there are people who canīt deal with it. But noone forces you to tell anyone. I go to work and noone knows about my problem. There is no need for them. But if the situation would arise, so what? I tell them the whole, sad story.
    As I climbed my way back to "normal" and opened up to my friends I only made positive experiences. And if someone makes fun of you or anything like that - you know their true colors and can dispose of them like a full diaper. I can act as a filter to get rid of scum-people in your life. Not to mention that is possible to apply legal treatment to folks who make fun of impaired people - especially at work.

    Be confident of yourself, a diaper do not make you less!
    Think about what I wrote. It might take some time for it to fully sink in. As others suggested, it might be a good idea to talk about the issue with a professional to overcome this.
    If the side effects outweight the gain - diapers might be the solution.

    Cheers
    Update:
    Starting tomorrow I am no longer taking Oxybutynin. Since starting it, my depression and other emotional issues spiked. I talked to my Dr and She told me to cease it. I have another followup appointment later this week to see what other options we have.

    Oxybutynin didn’t really help all that much. I still have to wake up multiple times a night. I still have to rush to the bathroom or deal with pain trying to hold it.

    I wish I could accept diapers in my life, but I don’t think I will ever get to that point. I was very hopeful that Oxybutynin would eliminate my need for them.

  9. #39

    Default

    Sorry for the backlash with the meds hon . im afraid that you MIGHT just have to try to find a way to accept it dear

  10. #40

    Default

    Had a bunch of tests done, Kidneys are good, don't have diabetes, sodium levels are good, liver is good. Nothing came up bad in blood tests. I have microscopic hematuria and have to go to the Urologist. I asked to try some other medication since the Oxybutnin was causing suicidal thoughts. I am much better mood wise since ceasing them. My first Urologist is mid June, doctor won't let me trial anything else until I go to my appointment. I asked her what should I do in the meantime. She said Scheduled Voiding and Diapers if I need them.

    I am really feeling trapped. I just want to have a normal bladder and not have to think about it all damn day. I have to order more diapers and feel so defeated.

    Sorry if my writing is so random, I have been sick the past few days and haven't been sleeping well.

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