To tell, or not to tell

This is a question that comes up often. Unfortunately it isn't an easy question to answer. And to get that answer, there are a few big variables that need to be answered first.

First, you need to understand what diapers even mean to you individually. Do you wear them as part of a kink or sexual fetish? If yes, then you need to realise this is a very private thing for you. Anything which is solely based on sex is something that should be kept to your bedroom. And the only person you should be telling is your significant other.

Or perhaps do you more closely identify as a DL? That is to say, are diapers a type of love for you. One where you are inexplicably compelled to wearing them, and trying to deny that only leads to a binge purge cycle of even self loathing. Keep in mind though, as with any type of love it can certainly include sexuality but is not solely based on it.

Perhaps maybe you're just an AB or little though. Do you like wearing diapers as a means of coping or stress reduction? Keep in mind that while a full AB is in pursuit of getting away from adult things, sex included, there are many levels and variations that again can certainly still include sex but are again not solely based on it.

So now you have a slightly better understanding of what diapers mean to you. Maybe a little of each even. If it's mostly just a sexual "activity" you like to engage in, or it's more than that. For a majority of us though, diapers are a literal part of what makes us who we are. And as with any other part of us (be it lgbtq, an extrovert/introvert, or whatever), that part is not healthy to keep it hidden away. So yes, there are some people you should tell.

Now that you've answered that part, the next question comes up. So who should we be telling anyways? Well, it's a bit of a loaded question in itself, but can be boiled down to anyone you're very close with. So who is that?

Well, it can be a parent, spouse, or even a friend. But one of which you can trust with your inner desires, or maybe even just someone you feel will stick by you once they know, and still won't judge you for loving diapers. Alternatively, this could also mean physically close in a platonic way (such as living with them).

All too often we hear stories of someone who tried to keep their diapers hidden, but were still found out because they were outed one way or another. The truth is, sooner or later this is almost always going to happen when you live with someone for long enough. It is something you need to plan for and expect to happen. And when it does, there's an unfortunately high chance that person will find out without understanding your reason for why. They will jump to some bad misconclusion, and make things much worse for you. The "option" of not telling may seem less scarry than coming forward first, but know that taking control of that situation before it happens is almost always going to be better for you in the long run.

Sadly, not all parents and friends will be that close to us. Even when living with them, we know they are prejudice or short minded. For them, it's often best to keep them at a slight distance and not fully include them in your life. Even if only for the time being, and in the mean time you may want to work towards improving you living situation or life without them around so much. So back to the question of who to tell, well only you can figure out that part. And no amount of advice or past stores can really help you make that decision.

Ps. Good luck and hope this quide helps you some. Oh, and once you've answered the question don't just jump into blindly telling someone you wear a diaper. There is more preperation, research, and even tactics to help with telling others- but that's for a whole different topic.

That's a very helpful post, I think it will give many a good starting point. Maybe even sticky worthy.

Well said. You section on

DL “Or perhaps do you more closely identify as a DL? That is to say, are diapers a type of love for you. One where you are inexplicably compelled to wearing them, and trying to deny that only leads to a binge purge cycle of even self loathing” .... so completely spot on for myself and others.... in evolution, bumpy road towards self acceptance

My usual strategy boils down to, "do they need to know?" and if so I tell them. Mostly close friends and family who've found it necessary to hang around me for extended periods of time where it'd be unavoidable they're going to find out anyway.

Only my wife knows. She knows it's a kink and turns me on. No one else needs to or should know. Perhaps if it where to become more socially acceptable, like using condoms for safety and birth control, then the conversation could be possibly brought up. I work with someone that clearly has a shoe fetish. He never refers to himself as that, but he can't help but comment on a girls new shoes. It almost seems creepy to me as he is middle aged and often it's a younger millennial. But none the less, he will bring attention to their shoes and stare. I guess there is no real harm, but I would never say "Nice diaper" if I happened to catch a bit exposed on a person.

My urge incontinence is a medical problem that I consider to be confidential but not top secret. All my physicians, close family members, and a few very close friends know about it. Since other people do not need to know, I don’t discuss it. However, if someone figures it out, it’s not the end of the world. And if anyone ever asked me about it, I would either tell them about it or tell them that it’s not of their business, depending on who it was and the circumstance.

I only told people that I had a personal relationship with since in college I was having some wetting issues at night and I did not want them to wake up in a wet spot. Most were glad I said something and did not even mind when I came back to bed in a snap-on diaper and plastic underpants. Others thought it "strange" and were a bit happier I did not stay through the night wearing my protection.

I am fairly sure my parents knew of my episodes wearing protection from the time I was 8 (best friend's mom had me wear protection after I had an accident at a sleepover) but they never did say anything to me which in the long run was actually good. I would have been totally embarrassed if my parents brought this up to me yet I had no control of it. I am certain my best friend's mom told my mom she had me wear protection those nights and I actually slept better once I realized how great it was to have dry sheets when waking up. My parents knew it helped me cope with my situation at the time so what would be the point of mentioning it to me unless I brought it up first?

I started to buy my own plastic underpants when I was about 12 or 13 (did not understand wet dreams) and I think my mother saw them a few times and I even finally just put them beneath my regular underwear in the drawer instead of between the mattress after she changed the sheets once but said nothing. Since she washed my clothes (and my wet dream underwear) she probably saw them in my drawer but understood why I had them so she never said anything. From age 14 - 18 I did not wear any protection at night so it was a mute issue by then. However, with my life starting at the university, I had to buy myself protection again for my nighttime challenge and my dad saw them lying on my bed when I came home from college my first summer and though he made a face while talking to me (I did not realize I had left them on the bed) he said nothing.

I was back home visiting about 3 months ago and my mom told me the bed in the guest room was made up for me and to use that one. Sure enough it had a plastic mattress cover on it but in the other guest room that bed did not have a plastic mattress cover on it when I checked that same night just out of curiosity. I even wore my plastic underpants as usual that night and the next morning I went down to breakfast when she called me still wearing them beneath my pajama shorts. I doubt even with my shorts you could see anything but the slight sound of the plastic on my pajama bottoms is a bit noticeable but nothing was ever said. I think they know I wear them for a reason and if I wanted to discuss it I could, but if not, they will let me decide that. I rarely have accidents at night anymore but I just feel more comfortable and secure wearing my plastic underpants which is my personal issue.

I told a couple of my friends back in 2008 when I was in school one time. Even wore a pull up once. Thinking back on it, it was a mistake. I had a big mouth when I was younger and I often said stuff without thinking. They didn't really judge me or anything, but I still regret telling them something so private. Since then i've learnt not to talk about the things I like such as diapers.

I came close to telling my mother when we were both drunk while on holiday, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. I'm 99% sure she knows whats going on with my diaper loving, because I was really REALLY bad at disposal when I first started experimenting with diapers (i'd throw them out my bedroom window into a hedge. imagine my shock when my dad decided to do a bit of hedge-keeping for the first time since we bought this house), and she made a couple of references to diapers being found outside. I think that if she asked me about my involvement with diapers, i'd probably tell her if my dad isn't around.

Also one time I let one of my friends look at my porn stash on my computer, including my diaper porn. After that, he acted differently towards me, and then shortly after that we never talked again.