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Thread: If you went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine...

  1. #1

    Default If you went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine...

    I'm so sorry that your time was wasted.

    (If you don't like cuss-words, go to another pansy thread.)

    Horrible things happen in peoples' lives, and in mine, I've been fortunate, but today, something awful truly did happen -- I went to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

    When the movie was said and done, I would have rathered my family die in a horrible car accident than watch that movie. I would have wanted a thousand innocent children to die of undiagnosed diseases than watch that movie. I would have gladly watched puppies, kittens, and giggling infants get eaten beneath a rusty chainsaw's hungry blades than watch that movie.

    I'd rather watch a dog anally fuck itself with a frozen turd in the shape of a paper-mache dildo shit out of a retarded hermaphrodite's shitty vagina than watch that movie again.

    If there was some sense of precognition that I could have had, I would have hung myself with the rotten intestines of a boar and have jerked myself off into a bucket of molten lava than see that movie. I would have gouged my eyes out with giraffe-boners than witness that insufferable mockery of horseshit and mudfuckery.

    I would have let myself get butt-cutted by a million knights in shining armor until my asshole became rotten cheese and my bowels released liquid feces.

    This movie was shit. While I didn't go into it expecting much, I came out of it wishing I could have erased it out of my memory, or that I could have at least given oral pleasure to every fat man and woman in the theater so that way we could have all enjoyed something.

    If any of you think that this movie was good, you should

    a) admit that your taste in movies sucks;
    b) ask someone to punch you over and over in the dick until it becomes mashed potato or vagina;
    c) eat razorblades;
    d) get a better opinion, because the one you have is just fucking broken.

    "Dawes, you're being so vulgar," you might be thinking, but you would be too if you could have done something more productive with your time than watch that movie, like torture innocent bystanders or stick shattered glass inside of your pee-hole.

    Whatever you do, I implore you, don't see this bullshit movie.

  2. #2


    Dude, I've never laughed so fucking hard in my life.

    Anyway, my father is taking us next week to see it. You really think it's that bad? My father thinks it's going to be cool but TBH I was never into the superhero/comic craze with Fantastic Four, Spiderman, etc... so either way I'll probably give it a 'meh'

  3. #3


    I thought it was only however the last 3 movies were clearly better. The problem with this is they never showed off any of the the guys that much, it was always wolverine and sabertooth. Also I was barely able to make out what power Dominic mohnghan had. I guess the ability to pull electricity out of the air and use it to power whatever. We'll just not let people know Nikola Tesla had that same idea, wireless electricity.

    That said there's much worse movies to see right now ::cough:: The Soloist :: ::cough:: That movie did not really do much for me, I seen movies where people try to help the mentally ill out before. I think they were called "Rain Man" and "Benny and Joon". Robert Downy Jr rarely got to be funny in it and half of jamie foxx's lines are just random lines to show how far into the deep end he's going into mental illness.

    I wouldn't recommend seeing either movie but if you had to see X-men.


  4. #4


    Sorry, but I thought it was good. This coming from someone who saw the leaked workprint of it as well. But then again, I'm really into all the superhero/comic movies. Just to name a couple I saw:

    Ironman - Saw ~8 times in the theater and bought it
    Dark Knight - Saw ~10 times in the theater and will buy it
    X-Men Origins - Saw opening night and have no doubt I will see it another 4-5 times. It was really interesting watching the work print and knowing just what they do to make these types of movies.

    As for you, go die a horrible death for calling this movie suckage. Go see Saw 1-5, those were also good. People have no taste if these types of movies. -__-

  5. #5


    I saw the bootleg expecting to be entertained for a bit, and I was. I've learned that when I watch movies like that all I have to do is lower my expectations immensely. Suddenly the film gets a lot better!

  6. #6


    That's totally how you do it... You go to the movies expecting nothing... Watch any old shit and then you're like... Oh... that wasn't that bad...
    All movies tend to suck... I just go there to waste money... And sometimes to be obnoxious... I'm the loud bitch up the back ^_^

  7. #7


    Eh. It still sounds much better than every other film that's showing at the moment.

    Seriously, films these days are all that awful. I don't go to the cinema to watch them, I just go there to hang out. The film just happens to be an interesting distraction.

  8. #8

  9. #9


    i think someone should take a chill pill.

    don't listen to rance, he's just wrong in this case

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by handfulofoats View Post
    i think someone should take a chill pill.

    don't listen to rance, he's just wrong in this case
    Dawes... Wrong... ?

    But.. Dawes can never be wrong...

    *head explodes in a "cannot compute" fashion.

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