< Intro > To whomst is reading,
I'll keep this short because the next one will be long.
Just a trans guy from the planet Mars.
< Why Am I here? > Typing this feels like I'm taking ten plus years of classified personal weight off my shoulders because until right now I've never told a soul.
Flash back to around 4th grade, when I had off from school my Grandmother would bring me with her to the Church she worked at. In this church there was a nursery/daycare room, which was empty and all mine to roam. I have memories of popping in my favorite VHS movie, stealing diapers, putting them on and sitting in front of the tv with them on until time came to leave, just to destroy the evidence and leave like it never happened. Id fake being sick just to get out of school and go to work with her I loved it so much. No one ever caught me. Fast forward to early high school I actually stole diapers from my neighbor who had a little brother. The interest made NO sense to me until after high school when I started making my own money and realized I could buy my own diapers, although I was so stealth about it that I get paranoid and rarely did/do it. Now six years after high school and I bi-monthly buy a supply of goodnights boys xl. This is one of my biggest insecurietes because I feel so ashamed of it, and thats why I am here. I don't want to feel ashamed anymore, I want to feel like Im not an outcast or alone. this was such a heavy paragraph but i feel so much better now that I've told someone, i never dared to tell my own therapists. current day, I've only ever worn the goodnights/pull ups. I've been weary of ordering online mainly because I've been so afraid of someone finding out. Since its been such a secret my love for diapers is always only when Im alone. I'm a trans guy and as of lately I've been getting anxiety with using the male bathroom at one of my jobs because even though i pass, its a sports bar and I get nervous so I've been going whole shifts without peeing and its destroying my bladder, i might have to start wearing at work but it'll destroy me if i get caught by someone wearing a diaper. /end of dramatic long intro/
< Who Am I ? > Part time barista, part time cook. I have cats who I love. I don't want kids, I want to travel the rest of my life. Also I do tattooing on the side. I have really bad ADD, without my medication I wouldn't be able to hold a job. I've been medically transitioning for a year now.
< What do I want from here ? > Ive never been a part of a community online, I came across this while googling a DL question and I realized immediately I needed to join whatever I had stumbled upon. I really truly just don't want to feel alone anymore.
My apologies for how long of a greeting this was
but when I tell you weight is off my shoulders, I mean it.
So already, thank you for this.
Im happy to be here.
I'll keep this short because the next one will be long.
Just a trans guy from the planet Mars.
< Why Am I here? > Typing this feels like I'm taking ten plus years of classified personal weight off my shoulders because until right now I've never told a soul.
Flash back to around 4th grade, when I had off from school my Grandmother would bring me with her to the Church she worked at. In this church there was a nursery/daycare room, which was empty and all mine to roam. I have memories of popping in my favorite VHS movie, stealing diapers, putting them on and sitting in front of the tv with them on until time came to leave, just to destroy the evidence and leave like it never happened. Id fake being sick just to get out of school and go to work with her I loved it so much. No one ever caught me. Fast forward to early high school I actually stole diapers from my neighbor who had a little brother. The interest made NO sense to me until after high school when I started making my own money and realized I could buy my own diapers, although I was so stealth about it that I get paranoid and rarely did/do it. Now six years after high school and I bi-monthly buy a supply of goodnights boys xl. This is one of my biggest insecurietes because I feel so ashamed of it, and thats why I am here. I don't want to feel ashamed anymore, I want to feel like Im not an outcast or alone. this was such a heavy paragraph but i feel so much better now that I've told someone, i never dared to tell my own therapists. current day, I've only ever worn the goodnights/pull ups. I've been weary of ordering online mainly because I've been so afraid of someone finding out. Since its been such a secret my love for diapers is always only when Im alone. I'm a trans guy and as of lately I've been getting anxiety with using the male bathroom at one of my jobs because even though i pass, its a sports bar and I get nervous so I've been going whole shifts without peeing and its destroying my bladder, i might have to start wearing at work but it'll destroy me if i get caught by someone wearing a diaper. /end of dramatic long intro/
< Who Am I ? > Part time barista, part time cook. I have cats who I love. I don't want kids, I want to travel the rest of my life. Also I do tattooing on the side. I have really bad ADD, without my medication I wouldn't be able to hold a job. I've been medically transitioning for a year now.
< What do I want from here ? > Ive never been a part of a community online, I came across this while googling a DL question and I realized immediately I needed to join whatever I had stumbled upon. I really truly just don't want to feel alone anymore.
My apologies for how long of a greeting this was
but when I tell you weight is off my shoulders, I mean it.
So already, thank you for this.
Im happy to be here.