I've never posted anything before but I really need some advice I suppose. I'm 20 years old, I've been having trouble with my bladder since I was probably about 10. At first it was just some leakage that I could cover up with toilet paper and period pads. Then it progressed to bed wetting and now to just pretty much no control over the period of years. At first I thought it was because I was assaulted around the time that it started but now I don't think so because it got worse instead of better. I've never told anyone, I've only recently started having to buy diapers. I have to sneak to a walmart like 40 miles away where no one knows me in the middle of the night to get them. I've gone to great links to hide it because I kind of have a tough exterior and I don't want sympathy. I've literally told no one. I work at a nursing home as a nurse aide and sometimes it's hard to find an excuse as to why I have to go to the bathroom straight away. I've been wearing baggy pants and tapping the pull ups to my inner thighs. I've got a bag now but I need an excuse to be taking it into the bathroom. My work has single bathrooms so that's awesome . I just wonder how people deal with this. I'm worried about going to the doctor because of the embarrassment. And to add to my issues, I have IBS and something that's making me slowly lose my peripheral vision and will eventually make me go blind so sometimes I feel like it just couldn't get worse. I don't think I can pass the vision test when I have to get my licence renewed and I don't want my mom to know about my problems because she depends on me so much to financially support her and my siblings and she has schizophrenia and I don't want to stress her out. I'm sorry for the long rant I just need some advice or something.