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Thread: Telling S/O

  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    Significant Other, eg, wife, husband, shack-up.
    Got it. Us non-native English/American donít necessarily know such abbreviation n, thanks for your help!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  2. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    NO! Stay away from the kinks talk. When you lump being dl in with kinks you are miss-categorizing what diapers really mean to a dl. And come on Ryan2127, who the heck still believes the DL desire will EVER fade with time? That is just SO wrong. And IF anyone believes their SO knowing about this part of who we are can jeopardize that relationship, then clearly they're in the wrong relationship. No matter how much you may love someone, if they can't even accept the whole you then they clearly do not reciprocate that love.

    SnowedIn, Take the time needed to FULLY research what diapers mean to you individually. It does help to write your findings down too. You don't have to read that out loud to your SO, just have it as a means of gathering your thoughts. Alternatively you can approach it as a letter to your SO, explaining everything in detail. Just be there when they read it. Letters do not convey emotion, nor do they allow for immediate feedback on questions.

    Lastly, know you ARE taking the right approach to telling her- before you get married. She has every right to know the full you before making that kind of commitment to you. And if successful in getting her to understand, it will be a huge stress reliever for you and means for her to understand how much you trust and love here. A real win-win if ever.

    First, pick a time when neither of you have anything to do, or anywhere to go. Start off with telling her you have something really important and serious to tell her. That it's a deep down part of your inner most desires. And that by telling here this, you are opening up a very vulnerable part to her. This is why you haven't brought it up yet. Also, at some point make sure she understands that you have fought with these desires for a really long time, and it just isn't something that is going to go away.
    Well, I dont know his full story. I mainly meant, that maybe he wont feel the need to ever tell her. It could be something he enjoys just thinking about and wearing once in a blue moon etc In my opinion, if he feels that telling her would ruin everything, I would say hold off...for now anyways. A 2.5 year relationship is an investment but isnt THAT long. Assuming there fairly young, she very well could call it quits and find someone else with no hard feelings. I think its important to take note of how happy she is with him. If she(So) seems to be satisfied, it may work, if the waters are already unsteady between them, it may be enough to break the chain...So I think giving it some time and some serious thought might be wise. Anyways good luck op

  3. #13

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    Not sure if I'm too late to the game, but there's a podcast specifically centered around this topic you might want to check out. Been going on for quite some time, so you may want to cherry-pick the ones that best match what you need. Check it out: https://dreamalittle.libsyn.com/

  4. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowedIn View Post
    Hello, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on telling a S/O that you are a diaper lover. My S/O and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years and we will soon be living together. Diapers have always been a very intimate and private thing for me, and up to this point I did not feel the need to inform her of this side of my life. It had always seemed like it would just bring unnecessary stress into our relationship.

    However we will soon be living together. With that said, I am now feeling the need to let her in on this "little" secret. While it would be nice for her to join in on my diaper time, it is not a necessity for me. I am mostly seeking her acceptance and willingness to allow me to indulge in my diaper lover side.

    Throughout our relationship she has been extremely accepting of other smaller kinks of mine. She is also extremely open minded.

    So, does anyone have advice as far as how to A) inform my S/O on the fact that I am a diaper lover? and B) inform my S/O in a manner that will not leave her feeling blindsided or betrayed that I had not told her sooner?

    Furthermore, are there any potential "landmines" I should look out for during this conversation?
    So I actually am a "significant other" of an ABDL. My boyfriend told me a month into our relationship when things started to get more serious and I can tell you from my experience of dating an ABDL for almost three years now, to just be up front and have a heart to heart about it. I felt like he was more secretive and I was more upset by that than him coming out and telling me. I also can tell you that if your s/o has never heard about the ABDL community before, to take it slow. For example, you may show her/him what you do, but do not spring it on him/her or lie about only doing certain things and then do more than that like being just a diaper lover and doing AB stuff also. Also, have boundaries. I feel like my s/o and I are still working on that because he likes wearing them even around my family and I am not comfortable with that yet. And also have boundaries with your sex life and just be up front and honest with her/him about how you feel. I am STILL warming up to the idea. I am extremely accepting, but I also do not want to role play "all day" and I want to have my BOYFRIEND also. I like his masculinity. It might take your s/o a while to get use to the idea just don't give up and be patient. It's a hard thing to process when you are not familiar and do not have the fetish. Just go slow, be patient and honest.. I hope everything goes okay! There are people out there that are accepting!

  5. #15

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    You should DEFINITELY tell your S/O before she moves in. A diaper habit is impossible to hide from someone living in the same house as the diaper wearer. She will inevitably discover your secret on her own, and then you will be caught playing defense instead of directing the conversation in a more constructive direction.

    As far as the actual convo goes, I would prepare ahead of time by deciding on the key points you want to emphasize. I would review Understanding Infantslisim and be prepared to direct your SO to that site and others with good information about ABDLs.

    Personally, I would emphasize the following points: 1) I have always had desires to regress to babyhood, and they arenít going away, 2) this is NOT pedophelia (I would take plenty of time with this point, as most people just hearing about ABDLs will assume they are related) 3) that I am telling her this secret because I care about her too much to keep this important part of my identity a secret any longer, and 4) then LISTEN to what she has to say in hopes of arriving at a place of mutual understanding.

    Best of luck with the convo. Please keep us posted on what happens.

  6. #16

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    I always brought up fetishes very early and was honest and upfront with my partners. Never had a negative reaction.

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