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Not too long ago I told somebody I'm close to about being little and there were some misunderstandings and questions at first. I don't think I was the best at answering them either and I'm not sure they understood the full scope of what that meant, or at least what I understand it to mean, but they said they get it. I was wondering about other people's experiences with this and what to expect as a reaction as time goes on. How have people reacted when you told them and how did their behavior around you change?

Well, telling someone about being an AB for the first time can run a gamut of emotions, from insanely awkward, to tense, to relaxing and quite pleasant. Your personal reaction usually depends on who it is you are telling, how comfortable you are with your AB side yourself and how long you have known this particular person.

I have told numerous people, friends and romantic partners mostly about my AB side and every time my reaction was a little different whilst their reactions were largely the same.

With the first person I told, my very best friend from high school, I was very nervous and anxious, stumbling over my words a bit, sweating, my friend could tell too. I managed to tell him and he said that it was an interesting past time for sure, but that it wasn't nearly as weird as he thought it would be based on my demeanour and he said that "We've been friends for so long, this doesn't change my opinion of you, just don't go wearing diapers around me". After that experience everyone else I told was a little different, with girlfriends, telling them was a very uplifting feeling, especially when they accepted that side of me, with other friends it was a mixture of nerves and elation. Most everyone I told was accepting in some way, hence why I said their reactions were all pretty even keel.

Over time, some of my friend's attitudes regarding this changed. All my friend's reactions were positive, but they became more comfortable and accepting of this side of myself as time went on. My friend from high school who told me not to go wearing diapers around him, is now fine with me wearing in his presence so long as I diaper up discretely around him. A female friend that I met at University over the last few years, she went from accepting it, but seldom talking about it to embracing it, she now teases me about it playfully from time to time and she even gave me some of her kid's old baby toys.

The more you tell people, the more comfortable you'll become with this side of yourself and the more prepared you'll be when you tell someone again in the future. From personal experience though, your personal reaction will always vary depending on the circumstances and the reaction of others will usually be pretty standard one way or the other, they'll either accept it or they won't. If they accept it, their attitudes may change, but they'll usually change for the even-better as in your friends will become even more accepting over time. I hope this helps

BurgundyRose said:

Not too long ago I told somebody I'm close to about being little and there were some misunderstandings and questions at first. I don't think I was the best at answering them either and I'm not sure they understood the full scope of what that meant, or at least what I understand it to mean, but they said they get it. I was wondering about other people's experiences with this and what to expect as a reaction as time goes on. How have people reacted when you told them and how did their behavior around you change?

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Hello BurgundyRose,

First, I think Poofybutt does a great job explaining how this can feel. I want to echo what Poofybutt said in that it will often depend on how comfortable you are telling the other person, and that people evolve over time.

I kept this part of me very secret and close to my chest until somewhat recently. But when I did come out about it, first to my siblings and then to some close friends, I was greeted with understanding and love. Like Poofybutt, I had a friend tell me something along the lines of, "I thought you were going to tell me something much more hardcore; this is no big deal." To my knowledge, no one I have told has changed their behavior in significant ways around me ... in fact, I feel I've grown closer to family and friends now. With my siblings and some friends I can now poke fun at myself or share some personal milestones and that has made this so much easier and less stressful to carry.

My best advice to you would be two things. First, if you are telling someone, that means you have crossed a pretty significant milestone in your life with this. So I hope for you that you have found personal acceptance. If you have not yet found personal acceptance, that will make it harder to tell someone else because you will feel as if you are confessing to something "wrong." And that could make the other person feel that your ABDL desires are wrong as well. Know that there is nothing wrong with you -- you are okay and it is okay. So, personal acceptance I think goes a long way to making sharing this with someone "easier" or at least less like confessing a murder.

Two, use your gut intuition and only tell those among your family and friends whom you know you can trust. This is a very vulnerable and special part of you -- you are letting people into some very private space when you tell them about this side of you. Make sure those people have earned your trust and friendship.

I wish you the best and I know we'll all be interested to hear how things go for you in the future.

Be well,

Tab

I have told five people about my ABDL side. They all had very different reactions.

The first was back in middle school, when I was just starting to discover that I like to wear diapers. I told a close friend of mine, and she was pretty shocked. She responded, "Are you just a little bit CRAZY?!" She just thought it was really weird and asked me to never do that stuff in front of me. Looking back on it, I should not have told her.

The second was my girlfriend for two years. I told her about one year into the relationship. She understood and was okay with it, but she was not interested in it and seemed a little uncomfortable, even if she didn't explicitly say so.

The third was my best friend from high school. She thought it was really interesting that I like to act like a baby, and was super accepting of it.

The fourth was a TSA agent after my diaper showed up on the body scanner. He didn't care. I'm never going to see him again.

The fifth was a very close friend from church. She is somewhat childish herself - she loves stuffed animals and Disney movies - so she was about as accepting as she possibly could be. Even though she wasn't an ABDL, we were able to actually somewhat relate to each other on this, which is something I had never experienced before. She said it was endearing that I'm so vulnerable.

To tell someone about this side of your life, especially if you have held it a secret for a long time can be very hard, traumatic even.

I have only done it one time, with my wife. For me it was traumatic. I wanted to "unload" so badly it took the better part of a day. And this was with a person that I had known and trusted intimately for over 30 years. As I said in a previous post, I could not get up the courage to say the words and just had to hint around until she finally said it. With that said, leading up to and for days afterwords my body was running an Adrenalin, my heart was racing, I was jittery, I was sweating in totally air conditioned spaces. And despite the fact that my wife could not have handled it more beautifully; I still lay awake at night wondering if I had done the right thing. I have no doubts now, it was totally right.

My wife later told me, that if she lined up 10 guys, and had to pick which one was a little and needed to wear diapers, I would have been the last one she chose. I had covered my little side my desires that well. In fact I had overcompensated to the point of sometimes being cold. I regret that . She says now, that she she loves, "the soft underbelly that she never knew I had".

In retrospect, it was more than right. Our lives and our relationship has completely changed it went from OK to fantastic. My wife has always loved babies and baby stuff, our son is getting older. So, in a way in our case it really worked out. I get to be little and she gets a little one to look after. Both she and I are much happier and more fulfilled people.

This does not mean that we are full on 24/7 AB/Mommy. There are days when life just has too many demands and I don't have time. But even on these days she reminds me with things she will whisper or say, gestures like patting my bottom or pulling up on the corner of my shorts even though I am not diapered. All these things reassure me she is OK with all of this and ready again when I am. And even better, when things are really going south, she will just take my hand and say, "come on" take me to the back and diaper me, throw my blankie, blue, over me give me a pacifier a kiss and put me down for a nap.

The reveal was stressful, really stressful. In my case the days of Adrenalin and cortizol release caused leaking of my retina and I lost central vision in my left eye for several months, which thankfully I now have back. Our relationship gets stronger every day. Something I thought I would take to the grave with me, I finally after 50 years and 30 years of marriage I had the courage to reveal.

Despite how traumatic it was for "ME" I would do it again 1000x over.

I've told 1 person, besides my psychiatrist. I told one of my friends about a year ago when I was on a new med which was making me lose my filters.

He was very accepting of it. We're a lot closer now and I'm not sure if it's because I told him or other factors. He's very respectful and in no way wants to interact with this side of myself except to make sure I don't need to change or something before we go anywhere. From time to time, if we're getting lunch together or something like that, he'll ask if I'm wearing and need to grab a bag from my apartment first.

I just told my psychiatrist last Friday, and I proceeded to go home and have a panic attack due to it. It was awful and I don't think that I'll tell anyone in a professional capacity about it again unless I'm in the hospital wearing and they need to know if I'm incontinent or not. (I don't want that on my medical file, it'd be awkward if I went in and wasn't wearing).

Honestly at this point I've had a lot of trouble accepting myself, and I'm just starting down the road of self-acceptance. There are a few people I'd like to tell, in theory (Family, some other close friends) but I don't think at this point it'd be worth it to me. I don't know what my future holds when it comes to this, but I hope it's acceptance, both from myself and from those who love me.

hytertax said:

I've told 1 person, besides my psychiatrist. I told one of my friends about a year ago when I was on a new med which was making me lose my filters.

He was very accepting of it. We're a lot closer now and I'm not sure if it's because I told him or other factors. He's very respectful and in no way wants to interact with this side of myself except to make sure I don't need to change or something before we go anywhere. From time to time, if we're getting lunch together or something like that, he'll ask if I'm wearing and need to grab a bag from my apartment first.

I just told my psychiatrist last Friday, and I proceeded to go home and have a panic attack due to it. It was awful and I don't think that I'll tell anyone in a professional capacity about it again unless I'm in the hospital wearing and they need to know if I'm incontinent or not. (I don't want that on my medical file, it'd be awkward if I went in and wasn't wearing).

Honestly at this point I've had a lot of trouble accepting myself, and I'm just starting down the road of self-acceptance. There are a few people I'd like to tell, in theory (Family, some other close friends) but I don't think at this point it'd be worth it to me. I don't know what my future holds when it comes to this, but I hope it's acceptance, both from myself and from those who love me.

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Hello Hytertax,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a panic attack and you feel so bad about telling your psychiatrist. You’re braver than I was at your age to share this part of yourself. I’ve written a few things on ADISC about self acceptance, but I wanted to let you know there are therapists that specialize in kink and fetish issues and I would encourage you to think on seeking someone like that out. It did me a world of good and helped with my own self acceptance. There were many times I felt so low and alone in all of this, but please know you’ve got a community here on ADISC who really get it.

Regarding ABDL, there’s nothing wrong with you. This is okay and you need to hear, know, and believe it.

I’m happy to chat via PM as well.

Take care of yourself and be well,

Tab

I remember when I told my best friend. It was so nervewracking. So terribly scary. We were in the car and I told him I needed to tell him something important about me. He asked what was up. I stuttered and I told him. "You know I like to suck my thumb but... sometimes I go far beyond that... I... like... I like to... wear..."

He beat me to it. "Diapers?"

I started crying, but he just held on to me and comforted me. He said it was okay. And to prove it, he drove us to the supermarket and bought me a pack of three baby pacifiers as I started telling him about my desired to be babied.

Best reaction I've ever gotten. Now, he engages as much as he can with me as my Big Bro/Daddy. It's amazing.

TabulaRasa2017 said:

Hello Hytertax,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a panic attack and you feel so bad about telling your psychiatrist. You’re braver than I was at your age to share this part of yourself. I’ve written a few things on ADISC about self acceptance, but I wanted to let you know there are therapists that specialize in kink and fetish issues and I would encourage you to think on seeking someone like that out. It did me a world of good and helped with my own self acceptance. There were many times I felt so low and alone in all of this, but please know you’ve got a community here on ADISC who really get it.

Regarding ABDL, there’s nothing wrong with you. This is okay and you need to hear, know, and believe it.

I’m happy to chat via PM as well.

Take care of yourself and be well,

Tab

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I don't want to hijack this thread, but thank you. I don't know if a kink/fetish therapist would be particularly effective for me. When I was a teenager it was definitely a kink, but since then it's definitely moved into the non-sexual side of things. I don't know if they'd still be relevant to that, but I'll look into it.

As far as the "there's nothing wrong with you", that's good to hear every once in a while. It's really easy to believe that I'm alone, looking at those around me and seeing their comparatively normal interests; I have to remember there's far more people than I think that are into this, enough to support a separate industry from medical supplies.

I've tried to commit suicide several times, and ABDL-ism is a big factor for why (beyond my clinical mental illnesses). That was before I found this community and that there are others out there like me. It's still hard for me to accept myself; Society has taught me what I'm doing is wrong. I think given time, I'll get closer and closer to self-acceptance. Just need to keep on going.