littlemoosey
Est. Contributor
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- Adult Baby
Yup, 30 years. I knew that I liked to wear diapers and be little since I was about 4. I battled with it, binge purge, off and on into my twenties. I really did think that there was NOBODY out there that was like me, or could possibly understand me. Like many here I was perplexed, humiliated, and ashamed but blissfully happy when I was padded and escaped into my little world. But there was no internet to get validation, support or possibly understand what was happening.
Also about that time, I met a beautiful young lady whom I would eventually marry. Your wondering, was I wearing at the time and did she know it? I was wearing even on dates, and no she did not know it. When we got married I thought the urges would disappear. They didn't, but I stomped them down anyways. I did make a few vain attempts but the secrecy the logistics just did not work.
About 5 years into our marriage, I lightly broached the subject with my wife. I jokingly said as we discussing having a family, "you could just diaper me instead". Well that did not work out. She wanted/needed a real baby.
Years later I had reached the most stressful point in my life; and one day I slowly began to open up to my wife about, "something that I had struggled with for 50+ years". The more that I told her, the more empathetic she got. The closer we were becoming. But I just could not get over the hump. I just could not say to her, " I like/need to wear diapers and feel little". Finally, I gave her enough clues that she just said it, "you like to wear diapers and act like a baby". It was if a million pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders it was the relief of a lifetime.
My wife was totally understanding and accepting. Our marriage has never been better and our relationship never closer than we are now. She constantly surprises me and takes wonderful care of me. She actually said she wishes she had know sooner, as that was such a long time to carry that burden alone.
I'm really glad I did not tell her though at that time. For 2 reasons, 1. the resources to explain it all were just not that available and 2. she needed to have and experience a real baby first. My needs would have diluted that experience for her.
If I were to move our relationship into the future, lets say now. And we were starting all over. I think that I would have told her when we were dating. I think that it would have been important to give her the choice and there would have been allot of resources out there to help explain this. In 1985 there was nothing, I was figuratively on an island and thought there really must be something wrong with me.
Because of my wife and her total acceptance I realize, I'm OK. Because of websites like this I know that I am not alone and understand myself much better.
I'm telling you all this because now I can be the little guy I always was; and although I still don't understand completely how I got here, most of the time I feel better about it all, my wife makes sure of that.
I know allot of you struggle with "coming out". For me luckily it worked. It could have gone the other way. Fortunately my wife and I had a solid 30 years together. Not perfect but solid.
Bottom line, I am a much happier person now. I don't have to hide at least not from my wife. And if I had to do it all over again, I would have told her early on prior to marriage, so she would have the choice. I just thank God it worked out the way it did. She is the most loving and caring woman in the world. I was blessed. I am the luckiest man in the world.
Also about that time, I met a beautiful young lady whom I would eventually marry. Your wondering, was I wearing at the time and did she know it? I was wearing even on dates, and no she did not know it. When we got married I thought the urges would disappear. They didn't, but I stomped them down anyways. I did make a few vain attempts but the secrecy the logistics just did not work.
About 5 years into our marriage, I lightly broached the subject with my wife. I jokingly said as we discussing having a family, "you could just diaper me instead". Well that did not work out. She wanted/needed a real baby.
Years later I had reached the most stressful point in my life; and one day I slowly began to open up to my wife about, "something that I had struggled with for 50+ years". The more that I told her, the more empathetic she got. The closer we were becoming. But I just could not get over the hump. I just could not say to her, " I like/need to wear diapers and feel little". Finally, I gave her enough clues that she just said it, "you like to wear diapers and act like a baby". It was if a million pounds had been lifted off of my shoulders it was the relief of a lifetime.
My wife was totally understanding and accepting. Our marriage has never been better and our relationship never closer than we are now. She constantly surprises me and takes wonderful care of me. She actually said she wishes she had know sooner, as that was such a long time to carry that burden alone.
I'm really glad I did not tell her though at that time. For 2 reasons, 1. the resources to explain it all were just not that available and 2. she needed to have and experience a real baby first. My needs would have diluted that experience for her.
If I were to move our relationship into the future, lets say now. And we were starting all over. I think that I would have told her when we were dating. I think that it would have been important to give her the choice and there would have been allot of resources out there to help explain this. In 1985 there was nothing, I was figuratively on an island and thought there really must be something wrong with me.
Because of my wife and her total acceptance I realize, I'm OK. Because of websites like this I know that I am not alone and understand myself much better.
I'm telling you all this because now I can be the little guy I always was; and although I still don't understand completely how I got here, most of the time I feel better about it all, my wife makes sure of that.
I know allot of you struggle with "coming out". For me luckily it worked. It could have gone the other way. Fortunately my wife and I had a solid 30 years together. Not perfect but solid.
Bottom line, I am a much happier person now. I don't have to hide at least not from my wife. And if I had to do it all over again, I would have told her early on prior to marriage, so she would have the choice. I just thank God it worked out the way it did. She is the most loving and caring woman in the world. I was blessed. I am the luckiest man in the world.
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