I wish my diapers were still my secret

SnowballFox · Mar 11, 2018

SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Easier said than done, with only 3-5% vision, in only 1 eye, but still, maybe possible.

I personally have 0% vision on both eyes and have lived on my own for years. It can definitely be done, although peoples skills/needs obviously vary.

Still, I'd suggest OP tried looking into being more independent if at all possible.

gnd567 · Mar 11, 2018

SnowballFox said:
I personally have 0% vision on both eyes and have lived on my own for years. It can definitely be done, although peoples skills/needs obviously vary.

Still, I'd suggest OP tried looking into being more independent if at all possible.

I'd really like to and hope to some day. I'm not financially able to at this time and I'd need to learn to cook but other than that I think I could learn to adapt. I don't have the easiest time navigating in public areas i'm not familiar with. Sometimes the vision I have works to my advantage, but other times it works against me because I have no depth perception so sometimes I have to ignore my sight to get around if that makes any sense.

Slomo · Mar 11, 2018

Trevor said:
You seem to be advocating a different sort of interaction than you were. It seemed like you were telling the OP essentially to get over it and now I read something much closer to my own thoughts on it. I'm sorry if I took the wrong impression initially. The OP ought to be able to go about his business with minimal spontaneous comment on it. We shouldn't be afraid of it when it is necessary but like other private matters, we often pretend they don't exist when convenient for all involved.

Nope. My message hasn't changed. You're still not getting there is a difference between keeping something a secret or hidden versus keeping it private or low key. The OP needs to get his diapering needs out into the open and discuss it with his parents. However, he in no way should attempt to include his parents with his diapering needs. In this way it will no longer be a secret, but it would still be his own private matter.

Trevor · Mar 12, 2018

Slomo said:
Nope. My message hasn't changed. You're still not getting there is a difference between keeping something a secret or hidden versus keeping it private or low key. The OP needs to get his diapering needs out into the open and discuss it with his parents. However, he in no way should attempt to include his parents with his diapering needs. In this way it will no longer be a secret, but it would still be his own private matter.

I think I grasp the difference between private and secret. It's something I've discussed here for years, favoring privacy over secrecy.

In the OP's situation, secrecy isn't even possible, whether he found it desirable or not. Privacy would likely be good enough but his folks, probably without intending to, are stepping on that. At least we're in agreement that a conversation needs to happen. Once they understand that their attempts aren't having the desired effect, odds are things should improve.

SnowballFox · Mar 12, 2018

gnd567 said:
I'd really like to and hope to some day. I'm not financially able to at this time and I'd need to learn to cook but other than that I think I could learn to adapt. I don't have the easiest time navigating in public areas i'm not familiar with. Sometimes the vision I have works to my advantage, but other times it works against me because I have no depth perception so sometimes I have to ignore my sight to get around if that makes any sense.

Regarding cooking, I can definitely recommend getting a clay pot/whatever you'd call stuff like that. Throw the food in there, place it in the oven for about an hour at 200C and just let it do its business... Alternatively there are slowcookers. I do have one of those too, though I've rarely used it.

I used to have some sight, lost it on my left eye first, so I think I know what you mean. I'll admit, I didn't keep the sight on my right eye for very long, so WHO knows.

gnd567 · Mar 12, 2018

SnowballFox said:
Regarding cooking, I can definitely recommend getting a clay pot/whatever you'd call stuff like that. Throw the food in there, place it in the oven for about an hour at 200C and just let it do its business... Alternatively there are slowcookers. I do have one of those too, though I've rarely used it.

I used to have some sight, lost it on my left eye first, so I think I know what you mean. I'll admit, I didn't keep the sight on my right eye for very long, so WHO knows.

Thanks. I'll look into that. I think I can do it once I get my finances straight and get more confident doing some things on my own.

Slomo · Mar 12, 2018

Trevor said:
I think I grasp the difference between private and secret. It's something I've discussed here for years, favoring privacy over secrecy.

In the OP's situation, secrecy isn't even possible, whether he found it desirable or not. Privacy would likely be good enough but his folks, probably without intending to, are stepping on that. At least we're in agreement that a conversation needs to happen. Once they understand that their attempts aren't having the desired effect, odds are things should improve.

Yes, exactly! His chance for secrecy is already gone, and his parents are already invading his privacy. The only way he is going to get his privacy back is to stop pretending he can make it a secret again. The OP needs to do the exact opposite of keeping it a secret, and actually talk to his parents about it.

gnd567 · Mar 13, 2018

Trevor said:
I think I grasp the difference between private and secret. It's something I've discussed here for years, favoring privacy over secrecy.

In the OP's situation, secrecy isn't even possible, whether he found it desirable or not. Privacy would likely be good enough but his folks, probably without intending to, are stepping on that. At least we're in agreement that a conversation needs to happen. Once they understand that their attempts aren't having the desired effect, odds are things should improve.

Maybe I should talk to them. Like you said they already know so it's no longer actually a secret as much as I wish it still was. But privacy is enough for me. I could live with that. If they would just leave it be it wouldn't really bother me anymore. I'm past the whole "they found out" thing. It still sucks, but it is what is and I'm okay with that. I just need to let them know that they need to stop picking on me about it because I'm not going to stop. It's who I am.

Trevor · Mar 13, 2018

gnd567 said:
Maybe I should talk to them. Like you said they already know so it's no longer actually a secret as much as I wish it still was. But privacy is enough for me. I could live with that. If they would just leave it be it wouldn't really bother me anymore. I'm past the whole "they found out" thing. It still sucks, but it is what is and I'm okay with that. I just need to let them know that they need to stop picking on me about it because I'm not going to stop. It's who I am.

It might be the best way to go, particularly since it doesn't sound likely that they're intending to make you uncomfortable. That's not a talk I'd like to have with my parents but it's still in the back of my mind as a possibility. They kind of function as a gestalt entity, covering for the failings of the other and if one of them were to die, I don't think either would manage well alone. If I had to move back home to take up the slack, I think we might have to have a talk.

Slomo · Mar 13, 2018

gnd567 said:
Maybe I should talk to them. Like you said they already know so it's no longer actually a secret as much as I wish it still was. But privacy is enough for me. I could live with that. If they would just leave it be it wouldn't really bother me anymore. I'm past the whole "they found out" thing. It still sucks, but it is what is and I'm okay with that. I just need to let them know that they need to stop picking on me about it because I'm not going to stop. It's who I am.

Now you're getting it! Just make sure you do your homework before hand. make sure you FULLY understand what diapers mean to you, before you try and explain it to your parents. Writing your thoughts down can help a LOT. You don't have to read it out loud to them if you don't want to, or alternatively you can even make it a letter to them if that might help.

Also, make sure to include pointing out what your parents are doing that makes you uncomfortable. They might not even realize they are doing it. Be ready to defend yourself and dispel those common misconceptions, and be ready for a slew of questions too. It's going to be a scary talk, but as long as you're prepared then I'm sure it will work out for all of you in the end.

SnowballFox · Mar 13, 2018

gnd567 said:
Thanks. I'll look into that. I think I can do it once I get my finances straight and get more confident doing some things on my own.

Best of luck to you

I hope you'll be able to Work it out.