My mum cut my paci

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LittleEllis

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I got in today to find my paci out in my room, not paying attention I put it in my mouth and realise it is really hard to suck. I pull it out of my mouth to find my mom has cut the top bit of the paci off. I am super upset, what do I do?
 
That was a rather mean thing for her to do, a baby needs their pacifier.

I take it that since your Mom has access to your room and your paci, she knows about you being an AB in some capacity? If so, then that makes this situation even more strange, if she knows about this, why would she just waltz into your room and do something like that. Of course, I could be off base, if your Mother doesn't know about your AB side then she could have cut the paci as a means of nipping these interests in the bud, though, I can't say for sure.

In any case, I'm sorry that happened. I think the most reasonable solution would be to purchase another pacifier, especially if you don't have any others on standby.
 
Just hide the new one better is all you can do.
 
foxkits said:
Just hide the new one better is all you can do.

Or this, this could help too, after all a pacifier is pretty easy to hide away.
 
Screw hiding it better. Go take something from her room and destroy it. Give it right back to her and ask how she like it.

If she doesn't, (and I hope she doesn't) then point that's the exact same level of respect she just gave you. Next, point out you're an adult now, and command more respect from her from now on.
 
Slomo said:
Screw hiding it better. Go take something from her room and destroy it. Give it right back to her and ask how she like it.

If she doesn't, (and I hope she doesn't) then point that's the exact same level of respect she just gave you. Next, point out you're an adult now, and command more respect from her from now on.


as long as we are going down the road of tit for tat, I'm looking forward to the part where she explains that it's her house and her rules.

seriously though, why pretend that they both have equal rights and that the OP is free to destroy their mothers property? don't we have enough threads on people in bad housing situations on this forum without needing another person who has been kicked out of their home?

communication comes before action.

two wrongs don't make resolution.
 
Slomo said:
Screw hiding it better. Go take something from her room and destroy it. Give it right back to her and ask how she like it.

If she doesn't, (and I hope she doesn't) then point that's the exact same level of respect she just gave you. Next, point out you're an adult now, and command more respect from her from now on.

Reading your response, could you be joking when you suggest this, if not, I apologize for making assumptions and I'll kindly offer up my alternative.

In some cases, I would advocate an eye for an eye reaction, but in this case that just seems petty and childish. I get the principle involved, but how exactly is destroying something of his mother's being constructive here? There is something called "being the bigger man", breaking one of his Mother's belongings would be sinking to her level and could make the situation worse. Maybe confronting his Mom, talking to her about this and how it made him feel would be a better solution, but that all depends on how comfortable LittleEllis would be doing that and whether or not his Mother knows about his AB side already or not.

Also, if LittleEllis did destroy something of his Mother's, that would make your last point about stepping up and being an adult, commanding adult freedoms and respect null and void. It's extremely childish to break somebody else's property regardless of whether or not they did the same to you and whether or not you are justifiably angry about it. Damaging or misusing someone else's belongings is something I did when I was like four, arguing with my friends about who's action figure was cooler.

Buy a new one or buy a new one and hide it, talk to your Mom if this made you feel bad and only if you're comfortable with doing so, those are my suggestions for LittleEllis.

MommyandMattling said:
communication comes before action.

two wrongs don't make resolution.

My thoughts exactly :)
 
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Slomo doesn't joke, use sarcasm, or lie. He doesn't understand those things. The O.P's mom destroyed his property. He has legal recourse, especially if he pays rent. That makes mummy dearest his landlady, and, that? That's dangerous. Landlords can't destroy tenants' property. Her house, her rules? My hiney! He's grown. He has property rights now. Children should, too, but, hey, today's world. Still, maybe calling the law would be better. It'll take some gonads, but, it'll likely work. O.P., you are grown. You're relationship with your mother is entirely voluntary. Don't let people make you feel that you have to call on her birthday, or holidays, just because she's your mom. You had no control over being born to her. It's repugnant that she'd break your stuff, rather than listen, and talk to you. You sure you wanna continue a relationship with someone like that?

Social ostracism works. When she realizes she no longer has you, she'll likely ask why she no longer has you. You can reply, "because you broke something I loved, rather than talking to me about it."

This is not unforgivness, nor bitterness. This is saying, "amens and a conversation are my terms for a continued rrlationship with you. What are your terms for the same with me?"

See what you can agree to. "Sorry," must be shown.
 
Yes, I was quite serious. And the idea of an eye for an eye is possibly the oldest and of the adult laws/morality out there. It's simple too, when you know there will be reprocussions for instigating a problem, then you won't do it. The OPs mom obviously doesn't care for his own rights nor thinks there will be any repricussions for doing so. Time to set her right, not give in.

Though in the spirit of "being the better man". Maybe all the OP needs to do is bluff about destroying it in front of her. This alone mayxbe enough to drive the point "home".

Seriously too, when it comes down to living in an destructive and unforgiving environment, versus striking it out on you own. Well that answer should be plainly obvious. If his mom won't give him the respect he is due, even in her own house, then he obviously needs to move out anyways.
 
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
He has legal recourse, especially if he pays rent. That makes mummy dearest his landlady, and, that? That's dangerous. Landlords can't destroy tenants' property. Her house, her rules? My hiney! He's grown. He has property rights now. Children should, too, but, hey, today's world. Still, maybe calling the law would be better.

Hate to be the realist, but as an adult his mother is also no longer under any obligation to provide him room and board (or anything for that matter). Unless there's a lease agreement involved (which I doubt), there's not much in terms of practical recourse. Since most people who live at home are doing so because they can't afford to be out on their own, antagonising the person providing you cheap (or free) room and board is a colossally bad idea.

TLDR: he has the right to his own property, but she has the right to put him out on the curb (alongside his property), so unless prepared for option 2, I'd avoid exercising option 1.
 
BoundCoder said:
Hate to be the realist, but as an adult his mother is also no longer under any obligation to provide him room and board (or anything for that matter). Unless there's a lease agreement involved (which I doubt), there's not much in terms of practical recourse. Since most people who live at home are doing so because they can't afford to be out on their own, antagonising the person providing you cheap (or free) room and board is a colossally bad idea.

TLDR: he has the right to his own property, but she has the right to put him out on the curb (alongside his property), so unless prepared for option 2, I'd avoid exercising option 1.

Exactly. I didn't say he shouldn't be prepared for that. She can kick him out. If he's prepared for that, it could be a good thing. Those who show no interest in your interests, have no interest in you, and parents who show no interest in their kids, aughtn't be parents! Shot in the dark guess here, but. . .

"Mom, look! I got a medal at school, Y'know; the place you ship me off to, because it makes it easier for you to live your life, without a clue who I am, instead of giving me a real, non governmental indoctrination, learning experience at home?"

"Yeah, yeah, kid, a medal. My nose is in my phone, I have to use for work, because I don't care enough about you to learn how to find you a decent father, and myself a decent husband, who will support us, while I do my job, which is to make sure my kids are securely attached, so, I can't be bothered with you, but, I don't want you to ever give me responsibility for that, 'I'm your mother,' or, 'I did the best I could with what I had,' or whatever."

Yeah, besides letting your future kids decide who you. . . (Ahem.)

Years later.

"Mom, why did you destroy my property?"

"Because I don't care why you're interested in this. I don't understand it, so, it's wrong! I can't be bothered to have a conversation with you!"

She's probably been doing this his whole life. Letting her be an abusive C U Next Tuesday is fine, because she's letting him live there for free while she does it? O.P., don't forget, nursing homes are for old parents who pushed their kids away. Children with good parents, usually let said parents live with them when they get old.
 
Similarly not condoning what she did by a long shot. I would assume if she did this she does care though (otherwise why bother doing anything), but clearly sees this whole AB thing in a negative light and is choosing a fairly unproductive way of dealing with that.

Regardless, just advocating a bit of pragmatism. Even in a shitty situation, If it was a choice between living in a house where I couldn't do my ABDL thing, had no privacy and with my belongings were under constant assault vs being homeless, I think I'd take my lumps until I could afford to move out. Recognize easier said than done, and I lucked out in that my parents never found out, and even if they had, probably would have handled it way better.
 
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
The O.P's mom destroyed his property. He has legal recourse, especially if he pays rent. That makes mummy dearest his landlady, and, that? That's dangerous. Landlords can't destroy tenants' property. Her house, her rules? My hiney! He's grown. He has property rights now. Children should, too, but, hey, today's world. Still, maybe calling the law would be better.

Legal recourse is definitely an option to anyone who has faced significant property damage or any other ill circumstances, but I don't really think legal action is the right route to take in this case, after all, it was just a pacifier that was destroyed, not a car or irreplaceable valuables like jewelry or family heirlooms, who needs to incur legal feels and go to small-claims court over a pacifier or make a tense situation worse by threatening to get the law involved. Maybe if this situation spirals out of control you can play the law card, but based on what the OP has said so far, I don't think this situation is going to deteriorate too rapidly here. Still a solid suggestion, just probably not right for this issue.

Slomo said:
Yes, I was quite serious. And the idea of an eye for an eye is possibly the oldest and of the adult laws/morality out there. It's simple too, when you know there will be reprocussions for instigating a problem, then you won't do it. The OPs mom obviously doesn't care for his own rights nor thinks there will be any repricussions for doing so. Time to set her right, not give in.

Though in the spirit of "being the better man". Maybe all the OP needs to do is bluff about destroying it in front of her. This alone mayxbe enough to drive the point "home".

Fair enough, that's why I apologized if I assumed incorrectly.

Once again, the eye for an eye method is something that I typically agree with if the ends justify the means. I don't think destruction of a pacifier of all things should culminate in the destruction of additional property.

Your bluff idea is a novel way of keeping LittleEllis from sinking to his Mother's level, but it's hard to tell how even a bluff of that nature could play out.
 
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On a nonbiological level, you're mom did right by your sister and you, or she wouldn't still be at home, and, I bet, your sister will opt for an in home aid, before moving her to an old folks home, and a private old folks home, before a public one. It's not you. Max, It's, this country has gone in a hand basket!

Women can make eyeballs, and literal hearts, and minds! When, and from where, did we get the notion that we needed to 1-up men? We don't. We need to find good men. When, and from where, did we get that staying home, raising well attached kids, continuing the species, wasn't the best job ever? People need fathers, and mothers. People need to hold us responsible for finding good ones. (Sarcasm--Read this like a bleeding heart. "but she can't! She needs all this special feminazi treatment, because she's a woman!" Bullogna! Stop white knighting! We women can be evil, too. And before we can pick good mothers and fathers for our kids, it's adults' responsibility to teach us what good men and women look like.

Spanking has been shown in studies to lower IQ. Does anyone care? I swear, if things were anarchic, "Boy, I wanna hit, or yell at my kid, and I'd love to destroy his stuff, but I'd better not. I want access to his kids, not to mention his resources, when I'm old," would be a thing. Maxx, do you remember before the welfare state? Tell me the story.

Parents, seems they get a taste of power, and boy, do they wanna keep it, to the point of destroying property! When the O.P.'s mom got worried, she. . .? Wielded her power. The power I want him to know if he lets her keep it, she will. A conversation? Hell no! That's just too much to ask!

Where did we get the idea that it was the state's responsibility to raise them? Peace ain't a statist's thing. You wanna know why kids go so crazy when school is out? Months of freedom! And parents want school to resume, because they literally don't know their kids!

Why are white men the last group it's okay to hate? The word slave comes from Slav, and they were? What color?
 
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Slomo said:
Screw hiding it better. Go take something from her room and destroy it. Give it right back to her and ask how she like it.

If she doesn't, (and I hope she doesn't) then point that's the exact same level of respect she just gave you. Next, point out you're an adult now, and command more respect from her from now on.

That's asking to get kicked out.
 
BoundCoder said:
Hate to be the realist, but as an adult his mother is also no longer under any obligation to provide him room and board (or anything for that matter). Unless there's a lease agreement involved (which I doubt), there's not much in terms of practical recourse. Since most people who live at home are doing so because they can't afford to be out on their own, antagonising the person providing you cheap (or free) room and board is a colossally bad idea.

TLDR: he has the right to his own property, but she has the right to put him out on the curb (alongside his property), so unless prepared for option 2, I'd avoid exercising option 1.

Yup, you're exactly right. Hence why I said that last part you conveniently overlooked in my reply.

And you may not have experienced this, but trust me on it. It IS absolutely possible to live on your own (especially with a room mate), while working even temp jobs you hate at minimum wage, and while going to college. It isn't a matter of "can't" it's much more often a matter of "too scared and don't wan't to".

Your TLDR does sum it up nicely though.


ps. You do bring up a good point though. Maybe it's time for the OP to write up a formal lease agreement and start paying his mom that rent he has so far taken advantage of.
 
Didn't Jesus say, "when someone cuts your tit, turn the other nipple"? So go out and buy another paci and hide it better. Moms are moms and they're going to rule the roost.
 
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